It’s a lonely feeling, the feeling like you want to die
It is not something you tell people, but something to hide
Life is precious and exciting, but what a cruel lie
For the things I’ve seen and been through is nothing to try
I cut to release the pressure building inside
It helps for a while, but comes back double in size
The deeper the cut the more it goes
But the deeper the cut, the more it flows
The scars are not beautiful, they scream my desire
If only I was brave enough to cut a little wider
The blood will flow and cannot be stopped
I will be free but at such a massive cost
The black hole that sits in my soul
Devours the life of happiness I’m told
God does not love me
God does not care
Maybe I will feel more at home in the land of despair
I’ll be accepted by the ones who have gone before me
The cowards who have chosen the hanging tree
Made for people who have done nothing but be
I’ll suffer, but I won’t suffer alone
I guess that’s better than being unknown…
Jun 2, 2016
Jun 2, 2016 at 10:30 AM UTC
Take me to a place where I can run
Through the hills without tiring,
Where I can swim to the depths
Of the sea without drowning,
Where I can fly through the sky
Without falling…
Take me to a land where horse can fly,
Where trees sing and dance in tune,
Where birds grow the to the size of elephants,
And humans turn into wolves…
Take me to a place filled with magic,
Take me to a place saved by freedom,
Take me to heaven.
May 29, 2016
May 29, 2016 at 5:25 AM UTC
A sorry message just for you
I don’t know what happened
And I’m positive you don’t know too
I thought I should just send
You a message just to say
How horrible I felt the whole day
Sitting silent with you by my side
Made me feel like a dying tide
If I knew what it would feel?
More like the needle on a spinning wheel
Temptation to end the loneliness I felt
Deserts freeze and icebergs melt
Total chaos without you their
I sat in turmoil of great despair
Please forgive my ******* mode
I hate to be in solitude
I thought you were angry
I thought you didn’t care
But it was me being stupid, insecure and scared
I perceive things as I think they are
I’m wrong most of the time
I realised this in the car
And now I write you another poem
Hoping to let you see what you should know
I’m a horrible, terrible friend
But I will need you until the very end
I’m selfish and rude with a lot to say
So please forgive me if you may
I am daft and full of ****
And you are the one that should use wit
That I am a sad, negative soul
Who doesn’t deserve to be whole
And with you by my side that is what I will be
A force to behold with my Parabaiti
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 9:54 AM UTC
My life would be a tale of decay
Darkness clouding my life in disarray
Loneliness would be my only acquaintance
Taunting me with bitter conversations
Thinking back to the days before you
Happiness seizes and hatred flows true
Humans were brutal, psychotic machines
Destroyers of pure, lifetime dreams
The one who I can completely trust
The one who will tread through dust
Taught me to see with a new perspective
And helped me through what I would never have expected
Cleared my mind of hatful rings
Showed true friendship in everything
Helping me live through all the rough
Made me feel like I was good enough
Brought me into her wonderful life
And made a true sacrifice
Promising a friendship fierce and strong
Parabaiti for life in a beautiful song.
Jan 6, 2016
Jan 6, 2016 at 5:09 PM UTC
We see without looking
We eat without tasting
We live by surviving
Yet not living at all
We say without knowing
We learn without growing
We live by surviving
Yet not living at all
We step without watching
We hope without acting
We survive by living
Yet not living at all
We trust too generously
And wonder why we get hurt
We lie so easily
Yet wonder why we aren’t told the truth
We live without appreciating
And die wishing we did more
We live by surviving
Yet not living at all
Dec 23, 2015
Dec 23, 2015 at 6:45 AM UTC
Running through the forest, into the night
A fire grows strong, a murderous light
Burning the living and eating the dead
The fire grows hungry, leaving havoc in its stead
Weakening the giants, making them tumble
Falling to the ground, an echoing rumble
Ground shaking, twigs breaking
Running for my life, escaping my demise
Death is knocking at my door
My heart speeds as I soar
Trees fall as I fly, feeling so lost
I can’t deny, death is near
My time has come, falling to the ground
Filled with contentment, heaven shines down
Created by the same God
Grown with the same love
I feel no pain, my sufferance gone
The trees and I have become one
Sep 12, 2015
Sep 12, 2015 at 1:17 PM UTC
The full moon in all its glory
A beam of light, an epic story
The moon was once a piece of rock
Useless to the universe, a massive shock
When the bang made this tiny specimen
A wondrous beauty, a well learnt lesson
The earth praised this magnificent candlelight
The moon created waves as a gift, a glorious sight
The flat, unmoving waters, now an unending dance
Humans caught by its splendour in a delightful trance
Blinded by its unyielding power
The moon did not stop, flooding to devour
The Gods took away the moons full beauty
Leaving upon it, a terrible duty
The moon full for only three days, only to wait
A fortnight again to be whole, it was abate
It is a truth known; only the weak minded lose to shame
To see innocence turn evil by power, a wicked game
Power is given to those who are worthy
Worthy are those who control power and show mercy.
Aug 13, 2015
Aug 13, 2015 at 10:39 AM UTC
The death of a sibling so greatly seen
Forever lost, an object of feen
Losing one so young is all but a sin
Hatred boiling throughout my kin
Never having been able to say goodbye
Bellowing throughout the house, my piercing cry
I live to walk alone without my support
The death of my sister has made me distraught
A punishment for all my crimes
God’s grace is all but dimes
Screaming out for her return
Left with nothing but a yearn
The death of an enemy so terribly lost
The one that you've hated, at what cost
Never will you be able to say sorry
To all the wrongs committed, the worry
A teaching in life for which I’ve learnt
Love the ones you've dangerously burnt
Regret is a pain that eats at your soul
A reckoning that defeats the biggest blow
Life and death work in a mysterious way
One cannot live without the others decay
Although one must start for one to end
The Alpha and Omega, the worlds amend.
Aug 10, 2015
Aug 10, 2015 at 4:39 PM UTC
Everyday I wake with a pain,
Forever in my chest, it will rein
The feeling so cold, it freezes my soul
A payment I must give, a living toll
I have never felt so alone
In those few seconds that are known
So many before me have lived this lie
That life is some mysterious high
But for the rest, each day is a test
To see who will overcome being suppressed
Living a life of lies and deceit
Trying to be accepted, but becoming effete
Some people that have lost all hope become weak
Giving in to the decision to perish, they die in defeat
Those critical seconds of choice
One of the few moments when some have a voice
They could decide to just give up and die
Or to choose to continue prospering and fly
Or curl in a ball of loneliness and sorrow
Questioning their life and hating tomorrow
I wish I were saved from this life changing decision
So I know there is some sort of provision
Stopping me from losing hope and ending it all
I want to die when the time is right, a willing fall.
Aug 8, 2015
Aug 8, 2015 at 10:54 AM UTC
The emptiness of love, known throughout her heart
Painted in a deathly black ink, a widely known art
The hurt and loss of the mother she once knew
All but a monster for which was far too true
Never thinking what was wrong with her praised angel
The little girl blamed herself for everything deemed fatal
It was her wrong doing for the horrendous money arrangement
It was her fault for the termination of her father’s unholy engagement
This story has been played continuously throughout history
However the ending of it has always been a mystery
How could so many humans treat their own so poorly?
How could someone's subconscious let this nightmare become average cruelty?
We must stand against such abuse for the future race
Letting people act this way is human’s biggest disgrace
Abuse, no matter how small, should be destroyed
The love for humanity should become greatly employed
Equality is a right our ancestors fought and died for
We cannot let it become our greatest downfall.
Aug 5, 2015
Aug 5, 2015 at 4:07 PM UTC