happiness is sleeping in our bed behind me
caffeine for early hours as i quietly sit
taking in what i never thought ive have
inside im warm
passionately seeped deep
with rich love and emotion
like a kettle left to brew
sweetened like honey
pouring
dripping
from my teacup heart
happy
terrified
terrifyingly happy
reaching this natural state of bliss
companionship predestined
feeling like this
us
we
is everything i've been waiting for
happily terrified
that this love
pure and unfiltered
could be gone as easily as it came
*** left on the counter
momentarily cooling
mistaken as finished
forgotten
could get poured down the drain
empty
nothing left to fill our cups
tea, thought gone
company will look to go home
While cleaning the table
my cup gets knocked off
hitting the floor
shattered
unsure if glue will do
i'll be left to pick up the pieces
trying to fix my teacup heart
Oct 9, 2016
Oct 9, 2016 at 6:30 PM UTC
im un aware sometimes
of just how ****** i can be
not realizing i push you away
arms working as seperate beings from my body
i dont mean to i swear
comments on my physical apperance
my body
my clothes
arm my defenses to have nothing
but a **** you" attitude
when i never should be like that
with you
it makes me quick
bitter
"i dont care"
meant
"what do you want me to do?"
because id do it all
id do anything for you
we've been home hours
in company of silence and small talk
when i should have apologized long ago
but this all just sounds like excuses
for me being the way i am
explanation for how sorry i am
Oct 5, 2016
Oct 5, 2016 at 1:43 AM UTC
Madagascan Vanilla
seeped in hot water from the new kettle
swirling with honey
staring up at me
steaming asking where my voice has gone
where my apology has gone
its lost among my mind
brewing darker and darker
to bitter to think anymore
lips pursed at re realizations about
me
myself
no matter how much sugar I pour in
sweet is something I'll ever be.
Oct 5, 2016
Oct 5, 2016 at 1:33 AM UTC
down arrow
down arrow
letters to words to sentences
making thoughts readable
accessible
shareable
to my eyes from strangers minds
from my mind
to clicking keys
to lines to paragraphs
to "posted"
to your eyes
Hello Poetry
from hearts
to screens
Oct 5, 2016
Oct 5, 2016 at 1:19 AM UTC
Life's been at a stand still the last few years.
Growing myself wild within.
Content in the idle, while waiting for inspiration again.
So far my twenties has been not being myself
and watching my hair grow back,
while this writers block became what I am.
Nights, to weeks, to months, to years,
spent at a bar filled with normal oddities you find in such a small town.
Hoping to find some conversation, inspiration, something to
make me feel alive again.
idle idle idle
Until
another night came
ready to shoot some pool as usual
when a warm feeling ran down my back
and I looked to meet his gaze.
Him
A moment had never felt so long
so short
so right
so perfect,
and all at once the poetry came again.
Heat
rose cheeks
a mind always symphonic gone silent
at a loss for words
thoughts
like the wind had been knocked out of me.
I drop my eyes
pupils now wide at my shoes
as I finally process a thought,
****
For days, to weeks, to months,
I reprocessed that eye contact to ****
trying not to let my reddening complexion
my dilated eyes
give my wandering mind away,
as words trickled into a flow of conversation.
Shared thoughts, passion, beauty spouting from his lips
kept pouring
and pouring
until my chest was filled to the brim
spilling
I looked at him and thought
" love "
Sep 30, 2016
Sep 30, 2016 at 4:22 PM UTC
Always been openly queer
Bisexual
as attention seeking as it seemed for a young girl to be.
How
are you supposed to know what kind of body
your lovers soul
is reborn in?
Why
limit your search
for your "one"
with modern social constructions
and religious heterosexual binds?
My sexuality
who I love
is who I love...
Whoever they are
whichever body they've found themselves in
this time.
Sep 30, 2016
Sep 30, 2016 at 3:32 PM UTC
With you
The moon is a saucer of cream
And the sun a ball of honey
All to put in my tea.
The breeze blows
To brush my hair,
Perfume the air,
Push me forward to you.
Is love only for
Romance?
Security?
Affection?
Because this is so much more.
With you
I am a better me.
Laughing, smiling,
Loving, happy
Loving you is healing me.
Sep 30, 2016
Sep 30, 2016 at 2:34 PM UTC
As my stomach churns I lunge to the physical comfort of my air mattress.
Breathing out the small relief I feel familiar brimming of salty soon to be sticky drops preparing to take the final leap.
Sorrow racks me as I sob. Temples pierced with sharp tension pulse as I try to keep my episode volumeless. Sighing with trembles I am able to pull my mask back up with my stained, moss hued blanket. I throw a cover over my mind and lock my eyelids quickly, pretending not to see what I am doing to myself.
Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014 at 2:16 AM UTC
How can it be that when ever I can't see you
I'm stuck so empty. **** do you even know?
I'm damming up a waterfall but I can feel the pressure building...
and I fight it, I fight it so hard and I don't even know why.
Logs come loose, currents push through, leaking
I pull my head down, using my curls as leverage to keep my face hidden.
Hidden away from these four walls, these four hovering beings.
The only witnesses. Counting my tears, muffling my sobs, but you don't know.
No one really does.
These walls unmoving, silent, still with eggshell paint, cannot comfort me. Cannot hold me. Cannot tell me that I am not a worthless person, that these feelings will fade. These walls cannot take the blade off of my thighs, soak up this crimson shame before it stains the thin gauze that makes up who I am.
A simple stumble of my thoughts can send me tumbling into reality where I sit alone.
Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014 at 1:33 AM UTC
The heavy pluck and drop of copper strings overtakes the sea of emerald blades in waves of melody and music crashing on to the shores of my ears.
Why not let the vibrations sweep my mind away and work me towards an ****** of relaxation. Making my toes curl as my worries and stress are gone in a giant release.
I lay now enveloped in a sun warmed flannel letting my fingers dance with the crowds of Daises standing so free.
Feb 9, 2014
Feb 9, 2014 at 12:55 AM UTC