I know that it's hard
You can feel the anger and frustration rising up from your core
unsure of whether it will seep out of your eyes or your lungs
You're not sure how to react
Do you tear down everything in sight
or do you crawl into bed for the rest of the week
letting yourself fall into darkness
The reality is, you'll do both
Some days you'll want to yell at the top of your lungs
You'll want to throw rocks at windows
rip all your pictures and throw them in the fire
And on other days you'll want to be left alone
in the warm comfort of your bed
with a box of tissues and the saddest music you can find
I know you don't understand why it had to be you
Why you had to be the one to feel so broken
Out of all the people in the world
What did you ever do to deserve this
You'll feel tempted to blame yourself
for the hurt caused by someone else
It's not your fault
It's not your responsibility to control their actions
The fact is, you can't change what happened
As much as you want to, you can't turn back time
What's done is done
Now you're left in the rubble
I know that that's not fair
Nothing seems fair enough
Everything will hurt
Getting up in the morning with a fake smile
Watching the people in your life so full of joy
Forcing yourself to do anything but wallow in pity
It's not easy
You need to give yourself more credit
I know that when you say you're doing okay
you probably aren't, and that's okay
It won't be okay for a while
I wish I could tell you it will but that's not true
It will **** today, tomorrow and the next day after that
You'll have happy days, but you won't be happy
You may not believe it or even want to hear this but
at some point, you'll wake up and it'll hurt a little less
At the end of the day, you are the person you're left with
You will learn how to let yourself feel better
because if you don't, who will?
You don't deserve to feel sad forever
You deserve the chance for happiness
You deserve it all
Mar 23, 2018
Mar 23, 2018 at 12:36 AM UTC
If I were a scientist
I’d build a time machine
So I could stop time and not have to wake up with the weight of our memories on my chest in the morning.
I’d build a time machine
So that I could go back to the day we met and take a different way home.
I’d build a time machine
So I could go back to the day you wanted to leave, and I’d let you walk away instead.
I’d build a time machine
So that I could kiss you one last time
So that I could wake up to you one last time
So that I could feel your love one last time
I’d build a time a machine
So that I could skip ahead to the day that you are just a memory. The day that I won’t remember the taste of your lips, and what color your bedroom walls were. I’d skip to the day that I don’t love you anymore, and it doesn't hurt to wake up in the morning.
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018 at 1:15 PM UTC
It was 5am.
“You’re not sleeping?”
I woke up, electricity running up and down my arms,
I curl my legs up closer to my chest and hide under my covers.
I’ll be safe here.
I twist and turn, shake and rock.
Why didn’t you lie?
The bad thoughts keep coming back like magnets.
I wish you lied.
My bones are sinking into my childhood mattress.
“Here we go again,” I know this all too well.
It’s just a chemical thing.
So I’ll just try to get my head straight.
And in the meantime,
I’ll be missing you.
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018 at 12:47 AM UTC
7:43
and i’m trying to not write your name,
you never appreciated my rhymes
maybe that’s why your name doesn’t rhyme with anything.
7:44
and i’m thinking of someone new,
someone better than you
i swear just one more drink then i’m through.
7:45
and i’m out of my mind,
head over heels for someone who’s not even mine
and once again i’m forced to leave you behind.
7:46
and your name makes me sick,
you’re such a
and i’m beyond over you and your heartless tricks.
7:47
and she makes me feel like i’m in heaven,
thank god you showed me hell
thanks to you my swollen heart's getting well.
7:48
i realize it all now but it’s too late,
you’ve already played your promiscuous game
thankfully she told me she loved me and stayed.
(god, in five minutes so much has changed)
Mar 20, 2018
Mar 20, 2018 at 6:56 PM UTC
green eyes and blue jeans,
lips like a mint dream.
crew necks and boxer briefs,
hands to touch me gently.
love me, love me,
hug me and hold me,
against your freckled cheeks;
don't ever set me free.
-a girl thats needy
Mar 20, 2018
Mar 20, 2018 at 4:00 PM UTC
crank the bass to beat away the day
my memory is infected
paranoid of a repercussion
waiting for minutes on end, but no one answers
feel the rhythm through each streetlight as
they sway left to right
I'm l o s t in the night
only a few things to keep you out
indulging in changing news
and stuffing my days with silence
incorporate my feelings in their lousy poems but I
could write them better.
thoughts infiltrate a peaceful brain
turn it up, drown it out
first step is finding time
then finding a place
then staying quiet
move in sudden bursts
no color, only black and white
hit the road but through tinted eyes
music moving me more than you ever could
stay away, I constantly pray
in your world, finding a new lover just
means a new problem so
I'll swim solo for now
cranking up the bass, calling out to the single walker
step aside before I fall
Mar 20, 2018
Mar 20, 2018 at 1:07 AM UTC
I want to be in love
Rip my heart out
I want to rip my heart out
Pain in my chest
Swore it wouldn’t happen again
Anger is drowning my thoughts
I want to punch walls and sink in the oceans black waves
I want to drive fast and crash into a wall
I want to choke you and spit in your face
I’ll spit all the words I never had the courage to tell you
Something like I love you, or
I loved you. I loved you,
Do you love me too
Do you care for me like I care for you
Do you want me like I want you
Tell me, do you close your eyes and dream about the ways my fingers feel on your cheek
Do you remember where I place my hands while I am breathing my soul into yours
Do you crave my warmth on your darkest nights
I’d say, hey
I’m the most beautiful, wouldn’t you agree
Tell me , am I crazy for thinking you were mine
I’d finish by saying,
You killed my love for you, and now you’re killing me too.
Mar 20, 2018
Mar 20, 2018 at 12:59 AM UTC
Are you crying right now?
It is a funny thing, how fleeting certain feelings are.
As I am left with your absence, my fingers tremble under the moonlight, trying to grasp what is left of you before the sun rise erases the shadows you left me with.
I wrap my arms around myself to stop the butterflies from flying away, but my love, trying to keep you is like trying to catch clouds.
You are a memory, etched on the back of my mind, floating around me like a thick smother. Oh, how I wish you were.
I urgently attempt to inhale you, my darling. The taste of your lips still linger on my tongue, i am still hanging at your lips, swallowing each and every word you verse into my mouth; i swallow, i swallow. I swallow all the knives you throw, slitting my throat, i become silent. I look up, the moon still shining, I smile; how foolish of me to think I could have wanted you forever.
There are nights where I shut my eyes, and I see you; eyes darker than hematite, your skin was earth and your smile was sun. I let you become my entire world, my center, my source. I wanted it.
Now that you’re gone, I am struck by what seems to be reality: a life before you, a life after you. You brought color to my world. A shooting star. A wisp of fresh air. A long awaited breath out of water. And now I sink. Every inch of my flesh used to be teeming with life for you. You made roses bloom in my lungs, thorns scraping my insides with every breath I take. Now I walk alone, in the garden you planted for me.
You are the nectar, I am the bee.
Too beautiful, it was painful. Too short, it was beautiful.
Mar 19, 2018
Mar 19, 2018 at 11:24 PM UTC
You confuse me he said,
you with your gypsy heart I couldn't ease
and the reckless galaxies inside your mind
bursting like comet fire through a black sky.
I confuse myself I think,
inside a whirlwind of love and debris
I am growing like a **** towards the sun,
and yet each new flower still holds the embers of an old flame.
Always I look to you as the sea looks to the shoreline,
trace your stoic edges and retreat, leaving seafoam and whispers,
or crash with rage and waves against your certainty
that I do not understand.
Today I am a galaxy, maybe tomorrow I am the moon,
but always I am saddened by the tides that pull me back from you.
Mar 19, 2018
Mar 19, 2018 at 1:18 AM UTC
i want to get high in foreign cities
travel to places i have yet to lay my eyes on
pack a bag and take off, my only motive to feel free
i want to kiss lovers on pavement my toes have never touched
beneath trees rooted with legends in their leaves
ensuring everlasting love
and i want to feel light, rather than weighed down
anchored to one small town
i want to drop everything and get away
to places where time is altered
and the stars are always present
whether it be in the night sky or people's eyes
i want to fall in love with strangers, cities, and scenes
i crave so deeply to feel free
to start anew
but at the same time
i want you to come too
s.s
Mar 19, 2018
Mar 19, 2018 at 1:16 AM UTC