wake up on a Sunday morning
have ***
pour the freshly brewed coffee
drink it
make love
take a shower together
kiss each other ravenously
get dressed, I dry my hair
your curls drip past your eyes
have ***
avocado and eggs on toast
jazz music breezing through the speakers
**** each other
take a walk downtown
hold my hand
more coffee. takeaway mocha
arm round my shoulder, caress my hair
laughter
cigarettes in the garden
go inside, make love
stroke my frightened rescue cat
kiss
get in the car, go to the train station
embrace
goodbye?
anxious silence.
Aug 2, 2023
Aug 2, 2023 at 8:14 AM UTC
your hands will someday melt the sky
and it will drip through your soul
and at this time you will realise
your power to align your own stars.
then the substance will set
and your soul will be satisfied
and you will see the motion of light past your window
in pitch black
and remember how stars shone from eyes, for you
i sit near the sea, sunset, alone
the ripples remind me of time to come
love to continue
as it waits patiently for feet to feel the wave.
salt embeds into the soles,
a mineral to strengthen.
whirlwinds interrupt daily rest
that are created elsewhere
and fall into minds of lovers
who sleep alone
you'll thrive
and i'll dive
yet survive
and float to the surface
to meet you
Jul 2, 2015
Jul 2, 2015 at 6:12 PM UTC
I cried tears of stone
whilst you stroked my hollow back,
all I really need is for you to get this virtual reality away
run up to my side with your embrace
warm to feel, cold to think
how I allow myself into this?
its sad to think
this is my idea of happiness
when I'm really stuck in a vacuum of clouded dust
everything I do is all for you
I know you like all the broken ones
and you try to fix them with your big and unruly hands
but you mangle and twist them into your sweetening mind
and can't escape the vortex
my messed up mind is what you love
you love the way I confess my deepest fears
and how I run my hands through your perfect hair
how I wipe the poison from your lips.
you're blind to how your eyes still dance around my head
and how your scent is still running through my veins
how I tilt my head so my tears won't be swallowed.
I love your mentality
and I love how you see the stars in storms
I love how you capture my attention
and I love how you say you wouldn't want me any other way
but my cloudy eyes want you to see
how I see myself
we have something they'll never have
dance around the woods then push me into a shallow stream
and you'll find out just how much I mean to you.
I don't want to share you with the world
because I have galaxies growing inside of me. I'm afraid
you might be one of them
and I can't get away
Apr 24, 2014
Apr 24, 2014 at 5:58 PM UTC
I'm dying in this house
this room is filled with laughing gas
yet I'm filled with carbon monoxide
bolting through my body
flying through my fibres.
The toxicity settles beneath my skin
the key is lost.
I touched his blurred face, a poorly painted portrait
and his substance melted in the tips of my tired fingers
and fell through like liquid
soaking me with his being. He washes my face away
and become two conjoined clouds.
Sunrise clears the haze over the horizon.
Mistaken again. I'm losing it
my best friend.
The barriers closed around the prison of thought
yet lust, loss and lies creep in through the slits and cracks.
I sit on my burnt bed
and wonder what could have been if there had been no obstacle?
fire cries from my eyes, and
sand sighs through my lungs.
I still felt the poisoned water ingested in my skin.
Feb 5, 2014
Feb 5, 2014 at 7:00 AM UTC
It started at the beginning of adulthood
where the wandering into the new house
became a chore. The doorway greeted me
by snagging my woollen jumper.
The motorway was screaming, the battered gate happily hanging from its hinges.
His image first flashed into my sight,
And when I stared through the fogged up windows
I could still figure out his figure.
Loutish, he sauntered past
On a hillside, desolate.
He didn’t move for three hours.
He was most probably entwining the thorns from the bush
into his complex mind. Maybe
the boy with the thorn in his side
Had been brought to life by this mystery animal
With a mass of unkempt mane.
Unruly, unnecessary, untouched.
The notebook on my kitchen table lay untidily
waiting to be roughened up. I picked it up
and cast light over the paper.
I imagined him doing the same
But his art was thunderstorms
And mine merely a drizzle of rain.
I made progress
and the flowers were growing from my fountain pen.
Confidence developing, I invited him inside
And there were still no words from his unfathomable jaw.
A month later, we became one
and I still didn’t know where his intentions were lying.
I’m a girl afraid, does he even have any?
Ink *** after ink ***
I ran even further in this marathon of confusion.
I slowly slid from his dismissive grasp, his matted paws light
I had drawn graffiti over his portrait.
a permanent marker changed beauty into art.
I crept before his wake, into his sleep
And his lyricism lay imbibed in the walls, the desk, the door.
I felt the gale force energy cry inside
Which erupted like a volcano, turning remnants into ashes.
Face down, mane rough, scars bright, fur singed
Interior managed.
In the morning, I lifted his heavy paw away from me
And placed it peacefully beside him.
Dec 12, 2013
Dec 12, 2013 at 3:40 PM UTC
I had many dreams.
my voice was too big for anyone to happily endure
and my heart too sad to persist.
One of my teachers told me I was talented
bright, special, full of potential.
When I got home that day,
I changed clothes, and
thunder from my thighs clapped as I sat down.
I would text him all day and night
even in a sleep deprived state.
The only thing on my mind was about my heavily outlined body
like someone had coloured it in with dark permanent marker pen
which could never be erased.
We'd walk together
and it probably seemed as if he was handling a blown up balloon down the path.
I thought of all the internal laughs people would suppress
why someone of his beauty would be with someone as ill-favoured as myself.
He would show me photos of another girl.
She was beautiful.
I could only think of the invasion of infatuation he would have for her
and I would be thrown into a landfill,
unwanted.
Shopping with your best friend
is supposed to be fun, right?
I tried on the same clothes as her;
I looked like a stubbed toe
that needed to be bandaged up forever.
She looked like a perfectly manicured finger
faultlessly shaped to fit
the glove of society.
My favourite people cradled me as I internally sobbed.
I felt like a novelty.
Loving a fat person is *not a ******* novelty.*
Nov 10, 2013
Nov 10, 2013 at 1:12 PM UTC
I can feel you,
I can feel you right here next to me
as my hand sighs though the air
and flops onto my bed.
You're my blood,
you're flying through my body
you're sending impulses
through my head, and my heart.
It's 1:01 AM
and I am tired for lack of life
I miss you, and I am sorry.
I'm so in love with you.
I need you.
my bedside lamp flickers as your ghost flickers from sight
my eyes flutter shut as I realise you're no longer there
my right hand closes around my left,
because yours doesn't have a vacancy.
I keep losing my mind in the music,
because reality is too much, too wrong, too real.
I want you,
to love me to bits
but I'm in more pieces than a jigsaw puzzle already. I need you
to rearrange my mind
but I remain a jumble on the carpet
in front of a roaring fire
singeing me further.
Sep 23, 2013
Sep 23, 2013 at 5:37 PM UTC
She's like spring
Rosy cheeks and tshirts and jeans
Delicate feet patter along the grass with happiness
the morning dew barricading intruders.
She loves like the sun; shy in the morning
bright in the afternoon
peaceful in the evening.
She's like summer
Tanned face and strappy tops and short shorts
showing off a supposedly perfect body.
A smile on her face that's impossible to wipe off
Her feet slip into her high heels
whilst the heavy bass blasts through the speakers.
She loves like a child loves their teddy bear
soon to throw it away.
She's like autumn
Dimpled cheeks and thick leggings and Converse
wandering through the fields, her dog at her heel
as acoustic music plays in her ears, and
fills her with contentedness.
She loves like he's the only one
he loves her like she's one of many.
She's like winter
Paler face and dense jumpers and fluffy socks
sits inside a room of comfort
and laughs at her favourite tv show
like she's never been lonely.
Snow floats down outside her window
she watches as it touches the ground,
her fingers wrapped around a warm mug of hot chocolate
and smiles to herself in the darkness.
She sighs at the appearance in the mirror
her wide hips should be for affectionate hands to rest upon
but there's just the debilitating scars that others left on her.
She loves like Pluto
too far away for anyone to reach
her mind is troubled by the blankness
and stuck in an eternity of cold space.
Aug 24, 2013
Aug 24, 2013 at 12:41 PM UTC
Run the shower
I need to wash off the memories
your touch still imbibed in my skin
from your embrace
your gentle caress
your beautiful scent
I'm so in love with you
but you're the forbidden fruit
that I cannot possess
I wish you could guide me in the darkness
to the light at the end
but I will stay inside this cave
I wish you could stop running marathons
in my head
and come back beside me instead
whilst I've been planting trees
you set alight to my forest
you've been travelling my world
whilst I've been locked away
run the shower
because I need to wash away your ghost
Aug 4, 2013
Aug 4, 2013 at 5:36 AM UTC
Here's to the people
who don't tease the girl
whose forehead is slightly bigger
whose teeth rest silently on her lip
preventing anything from being said
in her defense
as she buries her slightly upturned nose into her favourite book
seemingly to get away from the reality
of the insensitivity of some
Here's to the people
who wonder what others thoughts are
when there are spaces that grow between their sentences
when they can't express what they want to say
because their thoughts are far too complex
for the narrow mind to understand
Here's to the people
who see through the ambiguity
and the perceived eccentricity
and create art with their minds
Jul 15, 2013
Jul 15, 2013 at 8:23 AM UTC