mn - Hello Poetry

Have you ever been so ******* scared, you’ve ****** yourself on the spot? Or not, or when you were a child, when the fire alarm used to make dads head go wild… pulling and yanking on the wires of desperation, not being able to see the positive relation of father and daughter, the moon and the sun, where hitting walls was the only idea of fun Realising your own bruises when you’d wake up, and healing me with some sparkly makeup Dibbling and dabbling with your own torment not actually realising that im not your vent Or your toy Or your mistake Or the one you like to think you didn’t make Dragging up past and blaming it on present When the time you left is my only depressant Thinking of what might become just makes me want to run Because I don’t want to lose you, but then I must chose to Leave. Before my bedroom walls start to heave and become so thin Its as if I never had a chance to win Over you, its as you proposed to Let me grow up instead of find out that your body is still in doubt Of my abilities to not remind you of mum that my genetics might not have made me like her in her tum do you know that I know how bad you were or think I remember just the incense and myrrh Fitting keys into doors that aren’t meant to lock ‘daddy, why cant I wake you before ten o clock?’

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Apr 14, 2013

Apr 14, 2013 at 6:39 AM UTC

mn

After Dad

Have you ever been so ******* scared, you’ve ****** yourself on the spot? Or not, or when you were a child, when the fire alarm used to make dads head go wild… pulling and yanking on the wires of desperation, not being able to see the positive relation of father and daughter, the moon and the sun, where hitting walls was the only idea of fun Realising your own bruises when you’d wake up, and healing me with some sparkly makeup Dibbling and dabbling with your own torment not actually realising that im not your vent Or your toy Or your mistake Or the one you like to think you didn’t make Dragging up past and blaming it on present When the time you left is my only depressant Thinking of what might become just makes me want to run Because I don’t want to lose you, but then I must chose to Leave. Before my bedroom walls start to heave and become so thin Its as if I never had a chance to win Over you, its as you proposed to Let me grow up instead of find out that your body is still in doubt Of my abilities to not remind you of mum that my genetics might not have made me like her in her tum do you know that I know how bad you were or think I remember just the incense and myrrh Fitting keys into doors that aren’t meant to lock ‘daddy, why cant I wake you before ten o clock?’

21

I’d like to live to see the clouds turn into dust and ice My skin to mottled, silky wrinkles of pink And for the ground to fall beneath the lightness of my weight The stars and moons would slowly disintegrate and crackle on the marble floors of the universe And finally my body would melt into the sea and drown In loving content of death.

0

Sep 29, 2012

Sep 29, 2012 at 6:40 PM UTC

mn

Loving Content

I’d like to live to see the clouds turn into dust and ice My skin to mottled, silky wrinkles of pink And for the ground to fall beneath the lightness of my weight The stars and moons would slowly disintegrate and crackle on the marble floors of the universe And finally my body would melt into the sea and drown In loving content of death.

6

My body leaks from the prickly heat of your stare My every move being gazed upon from the perch that you summon me to, as your judgment has been made, and my sentence awaits… Your body is such a heavy mass pressing down against my bruised ******* and tender lungs. Your kisses on my neck are paralyzing my icy veins Your flaming hands are smoldering my fragile fractured skin Go away. The sight of you smothers me right now.

0

Feb 19, 2012

Feb 19, 2012 at 8:03 AM UTC

mn

Smother Me Whole

My body leaks from the prickly heat of your stare My every move being gazed upon from the perch that you summon me to, as your judgment has been made, and my sentence awaits… Your body is such a heavy mass pressing down against my bruised ******* and tender lungs. Your kisses on my neck are paralyzing my icy veins Your flaming hands are smoldering my fragile fractured skin Go away. The sight of you smothers me right now.

8

We are the births We are the deaths We are the lives We are the gorgeous We are the ugly We are the insecure For within our time Only These are for sure.

0

Jan 26, 2012

Jan 26, 2012 at 6:39 PM UTC

mn

Time

We are the births We are the deaths We are the lives We are the gorgeous We are the ugly We are the insecure For within our time Only These are for sure.

9

Pretty things Like Kath kidston florals And open fires and cheery wine Harrowed souls are repaired by music Minds grow hazy from *** smoking Clean air that was dusted with magical sparkles Now choked by perplexing precipitations….. Atmosphere surrounded by regret Whilst the act is still submerging from chaotic emotions Remorseful tears do not appear until alone Until the tide of the ocean reaches minds When they are isolated from the world and all it brings Nothing but sorrow consuming body and soul Like a cantankerous person within person Scratching from inside out Until lyrics are sung to the world Declarations of apologetic notions ‘Im sorry, I love you, Im sorry, I love you…’ Nothing else can be said.

0

Dec 4, 2011

Dec 4, 2011 at 8:22 AM UTC

mn

Pretty Things

Pretty things Like Kath kidston florals And open fires and cheery wine Harrowed souls are repaired by music Minds grow hazy from *** smoking Clean air that was dusted with magical sparkles Now choked by perplexing precipitations….. Atmosphere surrounded by regret Whilst the act is still submerging from chaotic emotions Remorseful tears do not appear until alone Until the tide of the ocean reaches minds When they are isolated from the world and all it brings Nothing but sorrow consuming body and soul Like a cantankerous person within person Scratching from inside out Until lyrics are sung to the world Declarations of apologetic notions ‘Im sorry, I love you, Im sorry, I love you…’ Nothing else can be said.

19

Arriving in reality after a week of surrender Stepping out onto platforms of life The sudden gush of rushing bodies Surrounded by trees from autumn and spring Forgetting how breaths of fresh air are taken for granted Forgotten that it’s crucial for life, and all it can give. Lungs expanding, as they fill with the clean, icy freshness of oxygen Faces appearing from all angles, swarming like wasps to their nests Mind filled with hazy delusion Sounds of screaming whispers belonging to unknown ears. Beads of sweat simply reminding us that our world is ever moving, overwhelming and, as always, prepared to Take on the universe and all its secret secrets

0

Nov 24, 2011

Nov 24, 2011 at 5:18 PM UTC

mn

Just Be Still.

Arriving in reality after a week of surrender Stepping out onto platforms of life The sudden gush of rushing bodies Surrounded by trees from autumn and spring Forgetting how breaths of fresh air are taken for granted Forgotten that it’s crucial for life, and all it can give. Lungs expanding, as they fill with the clean, icy freshness of oxygen Faces appearing from all angles, swarming like wasps to their nests Mind filled with hazy delusion Sounds of screaming whispers belonging to unknown ears. Beads of sweat simply reminding us that our world is ever moving, overwhelming and, as always, prepared to Take on the universe and all its secret secrets

13

Right now, I am your doormat Wanting to be accepted, used and loved… As soon as I have this or give up trying to get it I will want to be a dragon, free, feared and sinful My mind is precise of its wants and needs, yet my body cannot grasp them My every desire dangles in front of me, Like a spindle of silver scorned thread filled light Our happy memories do nothing but leave me in ruins Remembering each contour of your face, Each movement your live carcass made Leaves me like a crumpled envelope, misused, Misguided and disappointed to not be permitted to experience you in the way so many others have…

0

Oct 30, 2011

Oct 30, 2011 at 8:42 PM UTC

mn

Doormat.

Right now, I am your doormat Wanting to be accepted, used and loved… As soon as I have this or give up trying to get it I will want to be a dragon, free, feared and sinful My mind is precise of its wants and needs, yet my body cannot grasp them My every desire dangles in front of me, Like a spindle of silver scorned thread filled light Our happy memories do nothing but leave me in ruins Remembering each contour of your face, Each movement your live carcass made Leaves me like a crumpled envelope, misused, Misguided and disappointed to not be permitted to experience you in the way so many others have…

12

I want to cry in the mourning of something I have not yet lost. I live constantly concerned that the destructive actions of my soul that commence, Like a reflex not simply in my body, But somewhere so submerged in my fragile being and conscience I cannot and do not manage to withhold the wreckage Within me once it begins to emerge... I will tarnish the things that have been my cradle, My sanctuary of happiness and level headedness. Interpreting your every move, almost anxious for any Give away signs of lost hope, lost lust, lost companionship Despite the metaphor of its definition, Companions you cannot be over miles of land and sea... It’s as if all this space between us is at retracting magnet ends, Or a snow storm battling a deserts sand swoops. Yet, throughout all of my own battles of emotion... I secretly know you are in blissful ignorance, for you do not feel time should be kept anywhere, least of all in a waistcoat pocket.

0

Oct 30, 2011

Oct 30, 2011 at 8:14 PM UTC

mn

Mourning

I want to cry in the mourning of something I have not yet lost. I live constantly concerned that the destructive actions of my soul that commence, Like a reflex not simply in my body, But somewhere so submerged in my fragile being and conscience I cannot and do not manage to withhold the wreckage Within me once it begins to emerge... I will tarnish the things that have been my cradle, My sanctuary of happiness and level headedness. Interpreting your every move, almost anxious for any Give away signs of lost hope, lost lust, lost companionship Despite the metaphor of its definition, Companions you cannot be over miles of land and sea... It’s as if all this space between us is at retracting magnet ends, Or a snow storm battling a deserts sand swoops. Yet, throughout all of my own battles of emotion... I secretly know you are in blissful ignorance, for you do not feel time should be kept anywhere, least of all in a waistcoat pocket.

17

I’m spinning in the Underwhelming haze of my own imagination I’ve been in your hometown before Familiar is your soft husky voice that is The only lullaby to my ear Yet the need to hear your conscience Is still just as desperate As a whisper to the sea salty Atmosphere of our love. You, and only you bare nothing of my knowledge You, and only you hold permit to my inside. Yet you are the only that has not had me, or my knowledge For you have chosen as yet not to take it. You do not have the right to it in your eyes. Because everything in this world works… Backwards. As I work in a mirror Of a hundred pieces.

0

Oct 30, 2011

Oct 30, 2011 at 7:31 PM UTC

mn

Underwhelmed.

I’m spinning in the Underwhelming haze of my own imagination I’ve been in your hometown before Familiar is your soft husky voice that is The only lullaby to my ear Yet the need to hear your conscience Is still just as desperate As a whisper to the sea salty Atmosphere of our love. You, and only you bare nothing of my knowledge You, and only you hold permit to my inside. Yet you are the only that has not had me, or my knowledge For you have chosen as yet not to take it. You do not have the right to it in your eyes. Because everything in this world works… Backwards. As I work in a mirror Of a hundred pieces.

18

For the first time in ten months And three days I do not miss you. I can breathe without you here I can function as myself This is not through my lesser loving for you Or any less longing for you Nor in any doubt of your love for me… But in confident ease Of our returned love and respect We are two humans We are separate I see this now I am no longer a possesive being For we are joined At the soul? In fate? I haven’t a clue And never have We are ever changing Ever growing in our ways and beliefs The likelihood of us being forever is like A penny in a puddle Existent Possible But highly unlikely for any one to find And even less likely for someone To attempt to reach. For they forget the joy That penny could potentially give.

0

Oct 30, 2011

Oct 30, 2011 at 7:25 PM UTC

mn

The Precious Penny.

For the first time in ten months And three days I do not miss you. I can breathe without you here I can function as myself This is not through my lesser loving for you Or any less longing for you Nor in any doubt of your love for me… But in confident ease Of our returned love and respect We are two humans We are separate I see this now I am no longer a possesive being For we are joined At the soul? In fate? I haven’t a clue And never have We are ever changing Ever growing in our ways and beliefs The likelihood of us being forever is like A penny in a puddle Existent Possible But highly unlikely for any one to find And even less likely for someone To attempt to reach. For they forget the joy That penny could potentially give.

30