I'm sorry.
I didn't mean what I said.
My life is just a mess,
So I'm living in my head.
I'm sorry.
For everything.
Dec 4, 2018
Dec 4, 2018 at 3:50 AM UTC
It’s attention that she craves
Aching lonely in the eyes she wipes tears from
Hands that forgot what it’s like
To be held
Lips that haven’t had the chance
To taste desire
Nov 9, 2018
Nov 9, 2018 at 3:59 PM UTC
You didn't leave me with closure. You left me with a cold "Goodbye..."
So, my heart's not understanding it's over... It will... It'll just take some time..
Cause my mind IS in cooperation with the logic of how these things work...
In all honesty, I came to the realization- that it was over long before it started to hurt..
I can't say that I'm suprised at all. I knew this "love" would end.. eventually...
I knew you weren't in it for the long haul.. When you denied how much you meant to me...
You were quick to run when things got tough. I dealt with it alone every time...
But you were quick to return when sh** cleared up, huh? As quick as I was to AGAIN call you "Mine..."
In the end.. I don't blame you for leaving. You weren't raised by/or TO be a man..
So you can stop spitting your excuses and calling them reasons.. For why everyone's grown up, but you can't.
You don't know how.. It's just not in your blood. You weren't destined to fail.. just to struggle...
You were made to base your future rolling around in the mud alone... So it's only YOU who's in touble.
I don't wish bad NOR good on you. Nothing in fact, just leave me alone, stay away...
Cause MY future is bright and YOUR future is black, stuck in the past, while - I - face a new day.
Nov 3, 2018
Nov 3, 2018 at 11:23 PM UTC
Finally, she made it home... Exhausted both mentally and physically
from the long, hot days before.... Exhausted...
Too worn out to take anything out of her car,
she drags herself
and her purse
inside her house, down her hallway to her bedroom door.
She can't see anything, because the change from beautiful, bright, life-giving sunlight to cold and hollow darkness
is sudden and drastic.
Yet...
Somehow she manages to unlock her door....
Everything is in order,
the way she left it.
His picture
still hanging above her bed.
The one she knew she could get lost in...
She drops her bag onto her bed, steps up on the stepping stool and then drops herself down next to it..
She turns to face her wall..
To see him...
His smile...
His eyes....
His beautiful soul still shining through....
Even in a picture...
She smiles.
Grateful and happy that he's smiling and she can see it...
It didn't matter that he was no longer physically in her life.....
In this moment..
He was there...
And she felt safe in this moment...
The last thing she seen before she closed her eyes...
Was his smiling face.....
As she drifted off, she kept his smile vivid in her mind's eye...
And in the precise moment before his image faded into the dark abyss..
she heard him say,
"Goodnight babe. I love you."
..... And that was ALL that she wanted.
Nov 2, 2018
Nov 2, 2018 at 5:30 PM UTC
From a broken home to broken trust and everything in between. . .
I am who I am - just me.
I've made mistakes & been accused of the wildest of things. . .
Though I've become a better person through it all.. I still remain - just me.
I've had it all and lost it too.. Along with my mind and feelings. . .
No one else dragged me through the mud or seen me through - just me.
I've built new walls around me, that I now stay in comfortably...
No one can gain access again.. NO, not that easily..
Cause no one else has the entry key... No one else..
JUST ME.
Oct 30, 2018
Oct 30, 2018 at 2:32 PM UTC
I want to genuinely smile and have real friends that make me laugh..
Even more than that - I really want to get my life back on track...
But it's hard to have hope for the future - cause I just can't let go of the past....
Oct 26, 2018
Oct 26, 2018 at 10:25 AM UTC
The days are long, the nights are colder... I keep reaching for any strength I have stored within...
I keep reaching for hope - while trying to keep hold of my sanity...
It's getting harder, cause I just want to hold him...
It's been awhile now since our last encounter... This has happened so many times before...
I should be used to and tired of this already... What I thought I knew about love - I don't anymore...
I used to believe I knew every thing about love... As it would turn out, I know Nothing, in fact...
All I've ever known - was how to give love away... I never learned how to get some love back...
So I'm sitting here feeling stupid.. empty.. and alone... Wanting TO WANT to change enough to enjoy life again...
... But WANTING to want is an emotion so deep and so hollow... I wouldn't know where to begin.....
Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 5:19 AM UTC
I was doing okay when I was alone...
Before you...
I was happy, healthy, vibrant, and strong...
You know it's true...
.... Then you came along...
There wasn't an instant connection...
It wasn't "Love at first sight..."
I got a text saying that you wanted my number...
After seeing how **** you were - I text back, "Yeeeaaah riiiiiight!!!"
But it was true...
Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 4:58 AM UTC
I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.
Now read from bottom to top.
Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 4:37 AM UTC
What if I told you
That you
Are not
You
And the voice
In your head
You are hearing now
Is not
You
What if I told you
To stop breathing
And let the
Idea
Of who you are
Die
Then
Inhale
And realise
What
You
Are
Oct 24, 2018
Oct 24, 2018 at 8:38 AM UTC