I lay here rotting
Between sheets and shame
Unable to move
Unable to cry
Only the sinking of my teeth into fabric
To muffle my screams
For it is too late to be in need
I lay here
I lie here
And honestly
I'll die here
Yet even doing that
Would still make me a chore
So I stay within the blanketing darkness
Telling myself it will be fine
When we know all I am doing
Is waiting out the clock
Sep 26, 2025
Sep 26, 2025 at 2:20 PM UTC
The static wraps itself around
my throat like silver wires
Beating on themselves to force
out a ****** tune
Simply to write a score
To scorn my troubled mind
Scorching my self hate
on the dotted line
For truly pain is a watermark
none can hide away
on this marred canvas that is I.
Stained and plastered
in confused brush strokes of youth.
As if to truly define
the meaningless
The adoration
for something I'd never feel.
No, no veins weren't drained in
vain of life and
left to wilt on the window sill
yet still I'd claw into myself
and search for a world I can
Capture on film
To have a choice whether to
corrupt or delete
Or drown itself in whiskey
and car horns
Reverberating it's cords
And their fingertips
Across fifty shades of cracks
Guiding my hands
Clearing my mind
Starting once more
I am a piece of work
Incomplete
May 10, 2018
May 10, 2018 at 1:15 PM UTC
Heartless *****
Got no soul to love
Heartless *****
Parasite feeding in our skin
Heartless *****
Don’t worry they do love something
That something is themselves
Heartless *****
spiked their life bringer into a flaming can
Heartless *****
watching the world from a cave.
Heartless *****
sleeping with friends.
No benefits attached.
Heartless *****
doesn’t care if you like them
Heartless *****
actually delighted they’re messed up
How about you keep you’re mouth sewed shut
and tear out your larynx.
Words from that useless hole are hollow.
Manipulation your mistress
Depression your *****
You take
and abuse
and lie.
Just chose one or the other you-
Heartless *****
Stay quiet, behave.
Heartless *****
do they even have a name?
Heartless *****
It’s still beating in the trashcan, cold.
I am that Heartless *****
Dec 7, 2017
Dec 7, 2017 at 5:51 PM UTC
Our window is an ever changing frame
Left to its own devices
It never moves from its placement in our old home
Yet never shattered once
On good days, nothing but the ticking clock is disturbed
Those days of silly arguments we forgot
The moment the ice cream man begun his serenade
On bad days grey inkblots would erase that baby blue
Forcing cabin fever down our throats
At the loss of movie night
Yet there are the nights you sit alone, lost in the races
Between short lives of the rain cloud's children
Nights where you join the portrait's current mood
Our window is an ever changing frame
Capturing each moment of our existence
Replacing your trace
May 9, 2017
May 9, 2017 at 3:00 AM UTC
I deal with my emotions like a deck of cards
Cut them in half
Pull the pieces apart
Seperate them in groups
And throw them at others
I won't know if they'll get a hand
Or maybe a fist
All i know they are playing a game
None will win
Apr 1, 2017
Apr 1, 2017 at 8:52 PM UTC
When I'm departed
Leave not the scars of my scars
Upon your eyes nor brain
When I'm departed
Forget not the way my hair reminded thou of a lion's mane
Nor how eyes of winter bark is of the lamb
When I am departed
Even as you burn down the corpses’ temporary sanctuary with hellfire to allow me the will to fly
Even as you hear the crackling of marrowed fuel
As I am laid from dust to dust to the sky
Do not forget my words
Do not forget my unspoken lyrics
My voice may be gone but the memory
The letters of my life paint the history
Of who I was
Let these pages live on
Even as they yellow like dying grass
For only then, when they are dust as well
Only then, will I be gone
Feb 2, 2017
Feb 2, 2017 at 5:29 PM UTC
Throat burns
From nothing but screams
Headaches
When working like a machine
Fingers curling for a barrel
Unknown if it be for *** or roulette
But I ain't no alcoholic
Not yet
For I just let my skin **** it in
Makin ****** Marie's look like papercuts
Jan 27, 2017
Jan 27, 2017 at 3:13 PM UTC
I saw a ray of sunshine
She sung to me like I was the sun
Nestled within her arms of Autumn yet to chill
Sweet scent of lavender and mint as she exhaled
Silver strands of silk
Morning dew kisses
Her heartbeat still in my head
All I ever had needed
I saw a ray of sunshine
She seemed colder today
Yet the smile is what pushed me to rise
Higher, Higher
Until I needed to come back to their earth
So, we forgot the pain she felt
Ignored the way she griped my hand
The warmth still there
Still strong
It would be better in no time, right?
I saw a ray of sunshine
She slept at the cusp of the summer noon
Mouth wide open
Ready to say I was hers
That no one would ever be able to take me away
Alas, she said nothing
And yet, I understood
She broke a promise
Maybe once or twice
But it is forgiven
For the second was only the wind whispering to me
She wouldn't of known
The way she sighed sent chills down my back
I saw a ray of sunshine this morning
But it's not her
To be fair, I can still smell the lavender and mint
I can still hear her voice
Her heart
But this was not her
The arms that held our autumn dropped all the leaves
Dew dried from the drought
Yet they were all soaked from the salty rain
I remember when she was gone
The clouds must of taken her away
Not out of cruelty
Only to take away the ignored pain
I'm sorry for moving on
Before I could tell her that she was MY sun
Alas, she had already known
This always helps me stop
Remembering
That I was actually the light
She, the one who guided the way
Oct 2, 2016
Oct 2, 2016 at 3:16 PM UTC
Silence
That’s what you wanted
Just accepted silence
Just desired crying
Just no more defience
So why the **** do you want my voice
The ironic song bird wedged down my throat
You just want to hear your name screamed out
Whimpered out
Begged
I’d say **** you but you’d take it the wrong way
That or it won’t even reach past my new blue gloss
You want me to speak up now? Well you’ll get it, yet don’t blame me if my voice goes hoarse. My eyes bleed tears of forgiveness when looking disgusting and captivating as I screech like a banshee . With snot dribbling down my chin. With split ends visible in my wooden mane. With eyes turned muddy the unplanned forecast for blood thirst and depression
Like how about I talk about those long nights at McDonald, or when you sung lullabies that implanted insomnia, or the icy touch of your frostbitten hands looking for warmth and all you found was me. How about those whispered words of , “ I really like you.” Cuz four words are worth so much more than three. Each held more meaning than the last as if they were your last breath as you plunged inside me with dagger-claws. Yet I loved it, ****** I loved it! I loved being your barbie doll.
But were they even true
Were all the nights we stared at one another with clamped together hands just the darkness in your coal eyes wanting my spark. My bite. Was it just so you could see if I could be yours. Only yours. I left so many scars on you and you to me, and you told me you loved them. Your fingers would trace my stories I engraved upon your temple. But none were proof enough of how you ****** my mind up with yourself. Made me worshiped like a false goddess undeserving of your praise and love and soul and eyes and ********* I’m back your your dead ******* eyes even when you blinked to show you lived.
You knew I never loved anyone before you. Never held hands before you. Never had any lips besides your cracked ones trying to imitate a desert to trick others of nothingness that you’d whisper only to me. Never told a man nor woman that they were my first of everything before you. I was a tiger lily and you a **** And you took it all away you ******* hypocrite!
You knew before I could even say wait. And I loved you for it, I still fuckning love you for it cuz I am a ***** My heart never beats when you aren’t around. I never needed to speak, you were the source of my puppeteer voice I used when other’s worried about something.
Yet now you want me to tell you lies. Tell you who hurt me
‘You’
Tell you who used me
‘You’
Tell you who ******* broke me down to a sniveling, worthless pile of ash
‘You’
But instead of telling what was reality I played within your almond flavored fantasies and blamed everyone but you. For no, never you.You, you, you, you, you. Rigamortus won’t stop my hands from grabbing your shirt as I slowly sank to the ninth level of hell.
BECAUSE IT WAS YOU GOD ******* ****** MAN
YOU DID THIS TO ME
I WAS AN AURORA SUNSHINE YET YOU ****** ME DRY
TILL ALL THAT WAS LEFT WERE MONOTONE CLOUDS
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SHOVED YOUR HAND INSIDE ME
AND REPLACED ORGANS WITH STUFFING
YOU DID IT
YOU DID IT
YOU DID IT
YOU DID IT
You're the reason
I slit my throat
Tied up my vocal cords.
Sewn shut my lips
It's no surprise I was thrown away
Like a broken doll
It's funny you see?
When you're choking you should see the irony
Ain't I the one that needs to hush up
Aug 12, 2016
Aug 12, 2016 at 6:19 PM UTC
Can’t breathe
Can’t move
Can’t speak
Can’t look away
Yet I never want to
Your words of vines
Roses that grow no thorns
Eyes of hazel
No that isn’t enough to describe it
The soul I see within these mirrors
I, all but hallowed
Can feel the drops of copper
Become not a disfigurement
They are the stars of my galaxy
Scarred, crooked smiles become the crescent moon
That must mean you are my world
My home
The one thing I will stay tethered to
Can’t be anywhere else
Even as my body rots
Even as I am beaten to nothing but ash
Even as this life withers like a black rose
I will still love you
I will stand here in your image
Yet you’ll never know
Can’t breathe
Can’t move
Can’t speak
Can’t look away
These vines I’m buried with have no comfort like you
Aug 12, 2016
Aug 12, 2016 at 6:02 PM UTC