All I've ever known is how to hold my own
When your born into a heart that cares less for itslef
when your born into a soul that only thinks of those around it
All I've ever known is to hold my own
to keep on striving
keep on surviving
even when the sky makes it feel like i'm drowning
But now with you
I want to stop trying
I just want to be
fall into your arms and have you take care of me
you call me an angel
and all I want to do is make your life as heavenly as you make mine
I love you
But, I'm sorry if I need you too much
its just
all I've ever known is how to hold my own
Sep 16, 2020
Sep 16, 2020 at 8:12 PM UTC
I chose a path
did i choose wrong?
I thought the answer was no
I chose not to go
and now i'm stuck
feeling guilty for wanting more
Watching all the molecules linking up with one another
new elements
different versions of the same substance called love forming across an ecosystem
and then there''s me
I know I'm not alone
I know there are others
ones that have waited longer than I and still wait
Waiting for that one person to come and tell them 3 words to fill a void
But, still I want that, and I want it now
in this moment
in this instant to be called girlfriend
in this instant to have someone my heart belongs to
in this instant to have someone I can lean on, to hold
someone that will never let me go
But, I'm waiting
a young flower amongst old trees wondering if there will ever be that bee to pollinate with me
Or must I wait to be as old as those who went to serve and then returned
wait to fit in, before having someone to fit with
This I do not know
but in this instant
I wish I knew about you
Feb 19, 2020
Feb 19, 2020 at 7:08 AM UTC
tell me how can I fall for a screen
how can I feel your warmth without a touch
what satillite will we bounce from
what network will we embrace on
how can I fall for someone so temporary
So easy to delete , to block, to drop
i disconnect and you wonder where I went
what was going on and what this represents
you disconnect and I worry where we're going
if we'll last even with the past
can we exist in the same cast
Can we make something wrong
fit into our live feeds and become our own song
I'm falling for a screen and wondering
are you falling for me?
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019 at 4:16 AM UTC
I am an enigma
a common enigma
for I feel as if I am alone
even though there are hundreds such as I
I feel alone
cause all I see are pairs combining and becoming one
all their single strands into a double helix
and I still float on my own
I'm an O negative in a stream of A positive
just wishing for that one cell to have the same RNA
so I won't be an enigma,
I'll be of a thousand and one
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019 at 4:14 AM UTC
envisioning blind
with a tongue twisted mind
my dress keeps on twirling
amidst a world that stopped turning
Dec 3, 2018
Dec 3, 2018 at 10:13 PM UTC
I looked for love
but could not find it
before I met you
your grin spread wide
my small smile could not compare
you talked of poetry and philosophy
laughing when I corrected your words
you sang of music from your heart
no darkness could shroud your strings
I didn't let myself feel
for the feeling hurt too much
to look on you and know
that you were not feeling what my lungs clutched
That if I let out a exhale
it might blow you away
far from me, across the sea
never to speak again
so we sit, sing, and lean against each other
and all the while I hold my breathe
waiting for you to exhale
Dec 3, 2018
Dec 3, 2018 at 5:41 PM UTC
I seek to learn
Learn how far my faith shall go
to see how much water I can supply
How much sunlight my smile can shine
try different soils
find the best one
Where thoughts can spread
and ideas take root
There are times I think to walk away
take my fertilizing free will and focus on other things
Stay inside on rainy days
and curse at the hailstorm winds
But this is too mind blowing
Pushing leaves out if the ground
Surrounded by carbon layer of questions and confusion
Sedated by oxygen of peace and understanding
I water it, everyday
to see how far my faith will grow
its rose is not yet in bloom
But my sunshine grow brighter each day
As i read the Word and think of Doves
And gather more seed in the garden of Zion
Dec 3, 2018
Dec 3, 2018 at 4:43 PM UTC
I looked up for a one second pause
and there before me was the stars
Twin sisters appeared in my eyes and streamed down my cheeks
No beauty had anyone yet to see
Except for lonely, standing me
embraced by Cassiopeia
watched by Andromeda and the Pegasus
there I stood a tree, twinkling dew
To see a sky for once so blue
Dec 3, 2018
Dec 3, 2018 at 4:25 PM UTC
you gave me an angel made of glass
wrapped in soft white tissue
she has bubbles in her dress
and white streaks on her wings
she has no expression,
but sometimes I pretend
she's smiling
not bright, or full of excitement
not sadistic, or full of malice
it's a soft solemn smile
it tells of things that she's lost
but also of things she has gained
I imagine her eyes are closed
uncovered by her braided chestnut hair
no one could disturb her
not even a speck of dust
she clasps her hands in prayer
I imagine the wind blowing across her dress
but still she remains there
nothing shall move her faith
not wind nor time nor space
she sits on my desk
and watches my sleeping face
Sep 4, 2018
Sep 4, 2018 at 5:03 AM UTC