i want everything to be the way it was.
i want to pretend again-
that your eyes didn't sing to me each time they met mine,
and maybe then- it would have gone away naturally.
i want to pretend that it didn't **** me that you chose to put away your pride to belong to someone who has never seen your light.
and pretend the light wasn't just a reflection of the person I wanted to see in you.
i'll pretend that the things I watched you do weren't purely just your fingers pulling on the strings of the hearts of those who chose to see only that beauty in your smile.
and i'll pretend that i haven't thought about you every day for the past four years- wondering what reckless thing you'll do to your soul next.
and that every time you got sick, I wasn't worrying about whether i should step in to help you because I didn't want to cross any unspoken boundaries.
i want to pretend that he didn't look at me like a bomb threat- and that the things he did were not pure evil.
i want to pretend that you thought of me as family, and that you treated me as so.
i want to pretend that i truly mattered to you. not only when it was late at night and you were thinking of putting yourself in harms way
and not only when he wasn't treating you like the goddess I believed you to be.
i want to hug you, and pretend that i feel warmth in your embrace.
i want to see you, but i never want to look into those eyes again.
no, never again..
because instead of enjoying the melodies I once heard
i'll be revisiting memories of sounds that once made me sway.
Apr 3, 2017
Apr 3, 2017 at 11:25 PM UTC
trust the trying temples.
Nov 25, 2016
Nov 25, 2016 at 8:46 PM UTC
there is a girl
choking on her own *****
i think she may have
gotten it on her halo.
i gaze at the
dark eyes staring back at me
in the mirror here
and try to see something nice.
"try again" she
grumbles and then tiptoes back
to her death bed
and again, gorges herself.
Nov 25, 2016
Nov 25, 2016 at 8:35 PM UTC
I am weeping for the trees
And for the grass, and for the flowers.
I am weeping for the souls
And the soulless, and the soulful.
When I tune my brain correctly
All I can feel is deep, throbbing, horrid pain.
And I wonder if anyone could feel the pain I feel,
Would they weep with me?
I feel the pain of the animals in the plants,
I feel their blood-curdling screams looping
Over and over until it's all I can hear.
I feel the abuse and depression in every creature who knows they will be violently slaughtered.
I feel the pain of mother nature.
She is asking, "why do you destroy the gifts I have given you?"
She is crying, "nobody is listening to my warnings,
The droughts, the storms, the disasters"
I feel the pain of human beings
I feel the pain they know not yet that they feel.
That each and every one of them is enslaved, bred, and controlled.
Maybe we aren't so different from the cattle on our plate.
I feel the pain of the creatures in the ocean
Who are lucky if they don't ingest poison early on in their lifetime,
Who are lucky if they don't get caught in plastic
Or in a net, to suddenly-slowly dehydrate and die.
I feel, mostly the pain of our creator,
Who goes by many different names.
That they created us to learn and grow, and love, and spread love
Yet, all anyone can focus on is their own gain.
I am weeping for the world
Because the weight is pushing down on me.
I am weeping for the souls
Who are overwhelmed by the pain and cry with me.
Aug 13, 2016
Aug 13, 2016 at 10:48 AM UTC
But don't tell anybody.
I asked some customers today,
How do you spell Berenstein?
I asked a co-worker today,
"Do you feel like your interpretation
of reality
Has been corrupted?"
But he didn't get it.
He said, "no, but you've definitely shaken it."
"Not today" I said.
"I mean- today, but every other day as well."
Silence.
Why doesn't anybody hear me
As well as they hear Britney?
Aug 6, 2016
Aug 6, 2016 at 12:20 AM UTC
To the Fed
& The inevitable death
of Amerika
And to the conglomerates
for which we spend
One World
Strayed from God
Run by criminals
With bloodthirsty injustice
For All
Jul 31, 2016
Jul 31, 2016 at 11:06 AM UTC
There's corruption here and all around the globe
At the hands of demons and a secret robe
A robe that covers the truth of ourselves
It's kept hidden on the Vatican's shelves
They don't want us to know who and what we are
If we did, they wouldn't have gotten so far
Sacred geometry
Free energy
How to manifest our reality
They control us with television and fear
Sending us subliminals hoping to smear
Our subconscious
Our love conscious
Replacing it with hate
They make us insecure while our egos inflate
Ego is hell if it's left unchecked
No one ever does it, that's why our planet is wrecked
Know thyself and you will see
What this planet can truly be
Beautiful and shared by you and me
The birds and the bees
The earth and the trees
It's here for us, to nurture and love
We need to be aware, not defile and shove
Chemicals in the dirt
Chemicals in our food
Can you hear the pain of the cow in the tune she mooed
She misses her baby that was heartlessly taken
She produces milk for humans but we are mistaken
It's not for us, not everything is
We can't smother and steal and make that our biz
We all deserve happiness and freedom to live
We shouldn't always take, we should always give
Our time and our energy to something big
Something that can benefit us all
Something that can make us stand tall
Something that's from our hearts
Not from our ego's survival smarts
We are smart in many other ways
That's why we need to nurture it before the end of days
Jul 31, 2016
Jul 31, 2016 at 11:05 AM UTC
i feel a cold blade slice down my spine.
you are reading an article about politics
i am muttering something about a great revolt,
sitting on the floor with my legs crossed
thinking about the gift i have to give to the world.
you say something about giving up-
but i seem to have forgotten what that means.
you understand the state of our lives
because i have made you see.
a single sharp tear is trickling down your nose
and onto the tablet screen.
fall, fall, fall.
it's all going to fall;
it's all coming this fall.
gather 'round to see the things i see.
gather 'round to see the change we need.
Jul 31, 2016
Jul 31, 2016 at 10:54 AM UTC
my head is hanging out of the window of a moving car
and i am trying to fly.
the sound of the music drowns out thought
i want to be here, and i am meant to be here.
my heart is hanging by a fine thread
over someone's mind.
and they do not agree with me
so i try my best to map out their soul.
somebody's heart is hanging by a rope
above my own mind.
my head is hurting and my eyes will not focus.
none of them will.
i am holding a cat in my arms
whispering "i'm sorry"
for those of us who refuse to acknowledge that she knows
what i am trying to say.
as you take a bite of flesh,
i rip a chunk of an apple from its core.
you really think my heart is in the wrong place?
Jul 30, 2016
Jul 30, 2016 at 9:42 AM UTC