writing is the only truth
but not the words
or their meaning
just the feeling
of pressing keys
and releasing
it’s like they’re breathing
fingers steaming
mind burned by
umm…
everything!
to the ground
so I can’t do any thinking
only typing
you call it writing
I call it…
umm
enlightening!
reverberates like…
umm
LIGHTNING
it’s…
uhhh
it’s exciting!
it’s the right thing!
it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s
ummm
FRIGHTENING
and I’m
well I’m just
I’m
umm…
I’m delighted!
to be writing
words with no meaning
tones with no feeling
just keys breathing
and somewhere
not here
somewhere though
I’m
umm…
uhhh
I’m
somewhere
dreaming!
Dec 15, 2016
Dec 15, 2016 at 1:33 PM UTC
that’s what I’ll name my daughter
like the budding May flowers
that bubble our blue blood
and how funny is it
that I’d ever have a daughter anyway
when everything is temporary
in the fun month of May
and would I treat her like her mother?
who is really only a sensation
a revelation that life and death
come in beautiful waves
and that none of it makes sense
and that that is the best part
so how could I ever love her like her mother
when her mother is only a seed?
and why would anyone plant a seed
to make a tree to make a leaf
if the leaf is going to fall and die?
so I shut my eyes
embrace the bright cranberry sun
penetrating my white skin lids
and feel heat and breathe
and never think about love
but where will I be in the fall
if I don’t hold onto anything now?
that’s too funny
I won’t be the same man then
I probably won’t remember writing this
so even if I find an answer to my woes
it won’t matter in the end
that’s what I learn every summer
Apr 20, 2016
Apr 20, 2016 at 12:36 AM UTC
Please let these words dissolve
I do not mean what I say
But I must say something
Please let these words dissolve
Because my fingers tricked me
Into concrete existence
Please let these words dissolve
I have surrendered to the sensory
Now shallow beauty moves me
Please let these words dissolve
Because love is a word
And falling is a verb
Please let these words dissolve
Because the kids don't deserve
To see these days
Please let these words dissolve
And unbind me from the strangle
Of language
Please let these words dissolve
Because my mind is transparent
Like a blank page
Please let these words dissolve
Because I am flesh
I am not ink
Please let these words dissolve
Because I want to be remembered
For everything I am not
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 4, 2015 at 9:27 AM UTC
A picture from the past
That lingers black and white
In my hollow memory
Which loves to forget loves
Hates goodbyes
Sings backwards in time
To Gemma
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 4, 2015 at 6:09 AM UTC
raspberry whispers and apple kisses
strawberry bliss and banana ***
orange afternoons and blueberry midnights
kiwi laughs and cranberry baths
honey dew hugs and grapefruit tickles
watermelon love and cantaloupe commitment
lemon arguments and lime cries
cherry sorrows and clementine goodbyes
Nov 2, 2015
Nov 2, 2015 at 11:34 AM UTC
I found a strand of hair in the sand
from yesterday or maybe the day before
or before that, it's hard to remember anymore
the days suffocated by the rememberance of the waves
ourselves buried in the sand
Oh, the endless grains of sand!
of this chilly lonely Mexican beach
it's hard to un-remember what we built
what has now whithered in the autumn gusts
the castles have crumbled
we built them from sand, from scratch, from hand
added sweat-salt-water to strengthen the palaces
placed them near the shore or else it was no fun
let waves ride the moats and brush against the walls
prayed the castles would last the night
as we danced through the smokey fog
bathed in crimson candlelight
and sang until our harmony
resonated with the crash of the waves
and the constant being of the beach
we slept to remember and woke to forget
buried our regrets in the sand
and washed our hands in the water
and then ran to our castles
and prayed they had lasted the night
and sometimes they had, and sometimes they crashed
but now I see it didn't matter in the end
because none of them lasted forever
and no one remembered anything anyway
and beaches are only for vacations
though I am not a man who forgets ecstasy
or sees any need in leaving the beach
or likes the way the leaves look during autumn
or wonders what else there is but the sun
or needs to love the way most people love
so I lie on this beach, alone, sand to my knees
watching the waves graze over castle graves
finding seventy degrees to be too cold
carving my name in the shore
and watching the ocean erase what I've made
as I wrap this blondish strand around my finger
and try to remember who you might have been
and who you might be now
and if I met you in the sand
and if we will ever meet again
though, surely, we will not
because of course I am not still in the sand
a man needs to feed his family doesn't he?
as he wonders if he'll ever come back
or if the castle walls will last
it's too easy to daydream these days
office walls cloud ambition
and coffee cups burn my tongue
and early mornings swallow all my beliefs
they don't let me sleep, but I still dream
of a time when only waves tell time
as they curl in and out, but stay in the same place
so that we never age and only dance
make castles of sand with our fragile hands
watch them last, watch them crash
burn our memories in bonfire pits
but know that since time does not exist
each moment can be lived just like the sand
endless and amorphous and warm
and our harmonies will match the sound of the waves
and love everything but need only the sun
and sleep to dream and wake to love
and pray the castles last the night
but care not if they do
because there will always be another day
as I bang my claws into the walls
of this ******* cubicle, my head
aching from all this ******* coffee
my chest in a butterfly knot
my skull in a maze
it's hard to breathe here
the air isn't as fresh
and my lungs don't want to much
and my heart doesn't want to pump
my blood, which has gone stale now too
as I clench my fists, squeeze out my rage
knowing this is it
un-remembering the waves
praying the castle walls will last the night
but knowing my place
because beaches are only for vacations
and after all, it was only sand
and after all, these are only hands
and after all, I am only man
and after all, I am only sand
Nov 1, 2015
Nov 1, 2015 at 1:59 PM UTC