i think that i'm scared of you.
i'm twisted and nauseous inside
whenever you're around.
i'm always waiting for the next threat,
the next thing i need to apologize for,
the next thing you'll get mad about.
i always have to play along
but i can't leave.
because i know i'll never taste good to anyone other than you
Jan 24, 2023
Jan 24, 2023 at 8:00 PM UTC
What happened to "I will never hurt you" "I will never leave you" " You are the best thing that ever happened to me"
The words and sentences were exchanged for screaming, crying and aggressiveness
We have faught, strangled and hurt each other, screamed in each other´s faces that we hate each other and that we never want to see each other ever again
Maybe that would have been the best for us, that we went our separate ways and never laid eyes on each other again, but there is something about the two of us, we thrive on hatred
Jan 24, 2023
Jan 24, 2023 at 7:54 PM UTC
”It’s been a long day and i’m trying to figure it out
The way those words left your mouth
I feel broken, shattered and blue
And it’s all because of you
And i’m trying, trying to figure it out
If this is love,
Why does it break me down”
~ Ruth B.
Jul 17, 2022
Jul 17, 2022 at 7:42 AM UTC
Today isn't about craving
it's not about fuelling that hunger that you have for love with chocolates or flowers or hugs
it's not about trying to fill a hole that they have made you feel worthy of having today just because you have no one's hand to hold
it's just a day to appreciate love, may that be hugging your friends a little tighter, complimenting a stranger or just smiling at your own reflection tonight when you realise you made it through today without craving, you made it through today by letting out all of the love that you'd been saving
Feb 18, 2022
Feb 18, 2022 at 2:49 PM UTC
How difficult can it possibly be?
How f*cking difficult can it be to respect myself?
How the hell can I let him act and behave like this time after time?
I once promised myself that if he hurts me one more time
it's over for real, I'd call it quits
Shortly afterwards it happened again.
Did I leave him?
Did I respect myself for once?
No.
How I wish I could have respected and listened to my own needs
Because he's not good for me, no matter how much I try to persuade myself that he is
I wish he would be able to make me feel completed, respected, loved and accepted.
I would do anything to feel it, just for a split second, anything
Jan 2, 2022
Jan 2, 2022 at 7:42 PM UTC
I think that secretly I really miss you
and I say secretly because even I didn't know it until now
I know that it has been bottled up in a tiny corner in my heart
and it's only just washed up somehow
I think I ignore the fact that I miss you
because I know you're not going anywhere
but then a home seems stable until it's ripped up by a storm
a heart seems warm until it's frozen to the core
there is nothing about loving you that makes us permanent
we are both just human you see
but I want you to know that you are the start and the end of me
I could tell you this a hundred times over and it till wouldn't be enough to last
but I would rather you hear it echo around your eardrums
I'd rather you be sick of knowing
so my days of throwing secrets in bottles into the ocean of my heart
I'm leaving in the past
Jan 2, 2022
Jan 2, 2022 at 7:29 PM UTC
Whatever I amount to, may it be enough for you
even if it's not abundance or wealth
I hope you'll love me all the same
from me, to myself
Jan 2, 2022
Jan 2, 2022 at 7:20 PM UTC
Intimacy without love is like closeness without touch
it feels good in the moment, but it's not quite enough
Jan 2, 2022
Jan 2, 2022 at 5:12 PM UTC
whisk me up and wash me away in your waves of exitement
but be careful with me please
I will follow your lead and I will do it with ease
I have too much trust to give and I have too much patience to forgive
so I will sit with you as your tears dry
watch, if you cry, I'll cry
if you say jump, I'll try to fly
not because I do not live a life of my own, have hopes and fears and plans
just that seeing the good in people is all I've ever known
all I ever will
and all I ever can
so drown me in the goodness of you
and it will teach me how to swim
so I can know how good you really are
when you finally let me in
Jan 2, 2022
Jan 2, 2022 at 5:10 PM UTC
I will sit and watch the rose petals fall one by one
until it tells me if you love me or not
then, when it's done, I'll come and tell you how much I love you
wether you love me or not
Jan 2, 2022
Jan 2, 2022 at 5:01 PM UTC