When I die
throw my heart
into a dying forest
so that way
when the bulldozers
and the saws
and the cranes
and the shredders
obliterate the tree line
my heart might be
obliterated with it.
When I die
throw my heart
into a dying forest
so that way
i will have topped
every poet
every writer
every lover
who has ever insisted to know
what love, or beauty felt like.
When I die
throw my heart
into a dying forest
so that way
everything i've ever tried to
give you, show you
finally ends up on paper.
Oct 26, 2010
Oct 26, 2010 at 4:19 PM UTC
Having to get over you was the hardest thing I ever had to do
And the worst part is, you never seemed to care.
Now all I want is to move on, be able to say I got over it
Not that I dwelled on it for years after-wards, still missing you,
Anxiously trying to shake the romantic views of my innocence
Hoping, that one day, somehow, you'll show up at my front door
Insistently knocking, crying out my name, bawling.
Miserably, on my walk home from school, as
I approach my house, I always hate myself for that
Sideways glance I give, to the parking lot, to that parking space,
Stupidly expecting that maybe, just maybe, your car will be there.
Yelling my name the instant you see me, and then running
Open-armed to me, like you love me again. And I'm happy,
Until I realize that life is no fairy tale, and that I need to move on.
Oct 19, 2010
Oct 19, 2010 at 3:11 PM UTC
The sweetness hurt the most.
the way you laughed with me
the way we'd stay on the phone for hours
depicting scenes of us
having picnics on warm summer days
playing with our son
the one you swore you'd have with me
you swore a lot of things
but yet, you never swear.
well, you do now, but
you didn't used too. that was sweet.
the sweetness hurt the most.
the way you'd lovingly ask me to hold you
i called you my baby girl, and you called me
every night, so that you could feel safe and warm
throughout our years together, I was your shelter
your safe haven, from the downpour that was his death
the hurricane winds that was another's misplaced love
and the lightning stress of a senior year, and big changes.
I protected you. I kept you safe. I loved you.
You used me.
and when you were done, when the storms had passed
you left my shelter, for one that looked better.
I warned you, my shelter was true and his was not,
I warned you, as sweetly as I could those hard nights
not to do this.
The sweetness hurt the most.
worse even, then when you ignored me
and left my shelter anyways, to go to his.
how did that work out?
you hate him now? he took advantage of you? he wasn't what you thought?
pity, because I tried to warn you,
whispering
"please listen to me, my sweet, i love you"
certainly
the sweetness hurt the most.
and even now, after everything you've told me after you finally
worked up the courage to face what you did
I know in my heart that you still have never felt the pain
even on your worst day,
that I felt on my best day, after you left.
you are somehow blessed with the ability to forget the things
you no longer wish to remember. it's impossible to grow, until you feel the pain of what you've done
and as wrong as you were,
you were right about one thing, I am the strong one.
and my shelter? Now I have someone else to protect, and
there's no room for you. and the songs I used to sing you to sleep with
the ones that I couldn't bare to hear after you left?
I sing them to her now, even more sweetly then I did to you.
the sweetness hurt the most.
but now I'm better, and I've let you go. I bear you no ill will.
I will never forget you, but forgiving you is a long shot too.
I do not hate you, nor even do I dislike you.
Count me not as your enemy, nor as your friend
Perhaps just do what you did before,
and forget to count me at all.
I may even still love you, but never enough to let you back in my shelter. The shelter
that if truth be told, is the strongest one you could have found.
and god help you when the rain comes
because baby, my sweet, sweet girl
the rain will be my tear drops,
the wind will be the loving words i whispered to you,
and the lightning will be hot, flashing images of the future you gave up.
and the sweetness will hurt the most.
Aug 23, 2010
Aug 23, 2010 at 2:14 PM UTC
Better now, right?
To end like this, and
Have never known how much we
Loved each other.
And don’t say you just
Lost yourself along the way. If that’s the case
Then find yourself,
Never let yourself lose yourself. I
Loved yourself. Especially
At the point in time when I lost it
All.
Aug 21, 2010
Aug 21, 2010 at 3:32 PM UTC
You may believe you have known pain
I politely disagree
You may well have hurt before
I am however, me.
You may have cried your eyes out
I have cried out my heart
You may have never finished
I never got to start.
You may have once felt overwhelmed
I once felt naught at all
You may have disconnected
I never got to call.
You may have felt excruciating pain
I have had over 40 kids to-date
You may have once passed out cold
I laid on the bathroom floor for 16 hours straight.
You may have it worse then me
I know I haven't had it worst
You may have had some form of cancer
I have only felt a kidney burst
You may have it better then me
I know I haven't had it best
You may be living out every dream
I see mine only when I rest
You may hurt just the same as me
I believe all pain sometime must end
You may struggle to move on
I am with you there my friend.
You may think all is lost and gone
I thought so several months ago
You may think there's nothing left to live for
I know how you think, I know.
You may at some point feel really down
I know you have the courage to move on through
You may just need to know someone understands
I wrote this just for you.
Jun 18, 2010
Jun 18, 2010 at 5:15 PM UTC
Start
I ran all over this world looking for you
sprinted across the landscape, collecting money
so that when I reached you, I could treat you like the princess
that you are.
I overcame all obstacles in my path
jumping, ducking, and even making myself a bigger person
so that I could reach you.
Now at last I see your home on the horizon
and I enter the door, crossing all the traps designed to stop me
from reaching you, my love.
I become the man I was meant to be as I climb
the final staircase, and stare at the door that holds my princess
inside.
I open the door and cross the threshold
I'm here princess. I cross to the bed to find it empty.
"You'll never see your princess alive!"
God **** it bowser.
Jun 15, 2010
Jun 15, 2010 at 9:10 PM UTC
On the middle of the corner, in the middle of the street
People stood upon their hands and walked upon their feet
Passing buildings quickly, with windows stacked up low
across busy intersections, where nobody could go
Passed the lonely baker, who was playing with his meat
Passed the school bus driver, who drove a bus that had no seats
Passed the town librarian, who was learning how to read
Passed the determined farmer, who harvested his seeds
Passed the peace corps building, which was breaking out in fight
Passed the b-ball court, where the children were all white
Passed the city dump, filled with brand new mercedes
Passed the rich district, which was really very shady
Across the flowing ocean, where no water had a place
Through the crowded mob of people, where nobody had a face
Up the steepest hill, which to ascend you had to slide
The password spoken honesttly, so we knew you must have lied
Through the unlocked gate, which swung locked right behind
to a place where people searched endlessly, for things they'd never find
where people who saw sickness, didn't care to find a cure
where people who were tainted, had the ***** to claim so pure
where people who were feasting, didn't have any food to spare
where shoemakers kicked at homeless, who's feet didn't have a pair
where pacificstic people, were often forced to duel
where the hopelessly uneducated, were denied a school
down main street, where the people's needs were second
i saw a statue of a man, who began to beckon
so i went right up the stairs, passed the man into city hall
where a gathering had taken place, citizens hugged the walls
I walked right up to a man, and we began to speak
I asked about the town, which had started to look bleak
"Nonsense," he countered, "we're most certainly at our best!"
I smiled back enduringly, sure he had to jest
"Just take a look" he said to me, and pointed out the door
and suddenly, before my eyes, money rained upon the floor
priceless gems and sea shells, gathered from the shore
and women who wore no clothes, but were tatooed 'whore'
My mouth opened slightly, and I admit to nothing witty,
instead, I questioned, "but what about the people in the city?"
he looked at me and smirked, with a wink i must admit was stealthy
"forget that now, can't you just enjoy the fact that i'm so wealthy?"
"Well sure," I admit generously, "but aren't you supposed to lead?
And spread this money around, to teach and clothe and feed?"
Scowling, he shook his head, "I do the best I can"
so I gave it one last try, before it all hit the fan
"I'm sorry, sir, just one more thing, I don't want to make you late"
as I looked disgustedly at the massive amount of food piled on his plate
"Yes, boy, what is it?" (as his belly starts to inflate)
"What about all the people, the people behind the gate?"
We both looked out past the city, where people had started to bleed
passed the dying culture, who was being eaten by greed
passed the fat man who stood before me, who could save lives but was too lazy
"Them?" he laughed heartily, "oh they're mighty fuckin' crazy."
Jun 15, 2010
Jun 15, 2010 at 4:12 PM UTC