I'm in a void,
Just floating in space,
No feeling,
No weight;
Nothing negative,
But also,
Nothing positive,
No frown,
On my face,
But also,
No smile,
No incident happening,
But also,
No fun having,
Just.
Nothingness...
Even though,
The world around me,
Continues on,
Without me,
Barely noticing,
Or caring at all;
I feel
Like I must,
Shout out,
For anyone
To hear
My scream,
But it's muffled by
My own self,
Suffocating me,
From the inside out,
No longer being able to breath,
I scream,
But nobody hears,
Cause it's only in my head,
How could that be,
To me it's so easily,
Heard.
To me,
I am drowning within myself,
In my sorrow,
That came from nowhere,
Existing from seemingly nothing,
The air quickly became water,
Here I am drowning,
And yet,
I'm still expected to breath,
So here I am,
Breathing,
Still.
Somehow.
May 29, 2018
May 29, 2018 at 5:46 PM UTC
The angels are calling me,
they're calling my name,
wanting to hear me sing,
instead of scream,
wanting me to fly,
instead of drown,
they're calling to me,
but the voices in my head are louder,
telling me that I can't,
telling me that I'll never be good enough,
that that image I have in my head isn't me,
and that it could NEVER be!
The voice in my head is screaming out to be heard,
but does nothing,
but deafen ME!
cause no one else can hear,
or can there be?
The angels are always there,
watching over ever so patiently,
for the day that may never come,
that I'll do right by them,
that I'll muffle out that loud mouthed voice that's always inside of me,
but sadly I'll never be free,
cause that voice IS ME.
When will I realize that the angels believe in me,
especially when I don't believe in myself,
they're always there watching, praying and looking out for me,
even if I don't always acknowledge it...
So thank you,
from both of me.
-me & myself
May 25, 2018
May 25, 2018 at 12:47 AM UTC
There is no point,
there is no end,
Once begins,
continues again,
There is no cure,
no easy fix,
No easy way,
to get rid,
Once it starts,
never ends,
Not just once,
but never again,
There is no way,
to run from it,
No way to hide,
no way to rid,
Nothing to do,
no way to escape,
Once it comes,
this doom-your fate.
Oct 17, 2016
Oct 17, 2016 at 10:53 PM UTC
I've lost my mind
but no one will know,
cause I've got a mask
that let's nothing true show...
Mar 1, 2016
Mar 1, 2016 at 1:28 PM UTC
The water rises,
as my nose dives in,
into this fear that's growing,
but yet not showing.
I soon will be drowning,
not coughing on water-
but yet choke on fear-
as I've awoke the fight or flight within-
that feels like the punishment of all my sins,
it seems to last forever,
wish upon this to another-
I would never,
for it is torture,
I know nothing more sure-
than how horrible it is to be stuck within yourself
in the midst of its own war,
I feel the end coming deep in my core.
And I-
will be the only casualty.
Feb 14, 2016
Feb 14, 2016 at 9:26 PM UTC
~~¤~~
I laid my body
On your top
Pressed against yours
To take a nap
Arms were wrapped
Around your chest
We had that moment
As our best
You searched and found
The finest gold
A gem only you
Can touch and hold
I offered like wine
My kisses so sweet
We learned to dance
In the same beat
You gave your soul
United with mine
Moans were poems
With perfect rhyme
Tears flowed from eyes
For a little while
The pleasure and pain
Still made me smile
And your sweat drops
On my smooth skin
Like perfect rain
That I have seen
I can't forget
That perfect night
We shared one love
One dream, one light
I'll sleep on top of
The perfect space
For you are my home
My safest place
~~¤~~
Feb 1, 2016
Feb 1, 2016 at 12:23 PM UTC
I can't control my brain,
it goes to extremes,
there is no controlling it,
idk if I was born with it broken
or if it just broke within the years,
all I know is;
that it'll never be able to get fixed,
there is nothing you could buy,
nothing you could say,
nothing you could possibly do,
you'll just have to endure it like me, or
I guess just decide to leave, but ultimately, the choice is up to you, just cause I've got to live with it,
doesn't mean you've got to...
Jan 31, 2016
Jan 31, 2016 at 7:09 PM UTC
I don't know what to think,
what to do or how to feel...
How do you think?
What do you do?
How do you feel?
Maybe I could do the same, since I already rely too much on you...
Jan 13, 2016
Jan 13, 2016 at 9:47 PM UTC
I see the future that I want,
I feel the desperation of mine,
I taste the bitterness of disappointment,
I smell my failure to come,
Last but not least, I hear myself being rejected...
Jan 13, 2016
Jan 13, 2016 at 9:37 PM UTC
I've been set free
Into this new existence
My room quiet and lame
As I fill the distance
With pictures, presents
Memories and thoughts
Fragments of moments with you
I've almost caught
But you, beyond the picture
Beyond my laptop screen
Are hidden from me
And all I see
Is the space between us
These mazes lined up to block my favourite view in the world.
I can't reach you with my fingers
And I can't feel you smile in my sleep
But if I could, I would
Wrap you in my covers
And lie with you
In this bed I've made for us.
Nov 28, 2015
Nov 28, 2015 at 11:17 AM UTC