to me, love is admiration with a humbling effect.
you admire that person and they make you want to be better;
more positive, more outgoing, more yourself.
and you're humbled because they think the same of you
and you realize
you aren't as terrible as you thought yourself to be at one point.
and they embrace your mind before they'd embrace your body.
but there's passion beyond belief within it all, too.
every time you see him, your heart should flutter,
your cheeks should flush.
no matter how at home you feel around him
(because your soul-mate should feel like home)
there will always be the sense that they're something greater than this world
and that's what keeps you intrigued-
wanting to know every thought of their mind and every curve of their body
because you're so bewildered by their very existence
and simply the way it affects you
Dec 16, 2014
Dec 16, 2014 at 12:11 AM UTC
I hate my words for most of all the time
So much so, I'll deny they were ever mine.
I put pen to paper with high hopes
That seeing the ink bleed will keep me from the ropes.
I am unnecessary; I am not wanted
A simple body-- living, yet haunted.
There are these memories from years ago
Of a little girl trembling between each blow.
She swears up & down, & left to right
Never again to sleep at night.
She would rather be up for weeks
Than awoken at night to floorboard creeks.
She swore for the future & to the stars above
Never ever to let herself love.
As for now, I still stay awake each night,
& think of how to continue solely on spite.
I like to imagine what I might be
If you hadn't done what you have to me.
Just picture what I could achieve
If this hatred inside would only leave.
Jan 13, 2014
Jan 13, 2014 at 9:13 PM UTC
I messed everything up again.
I should have kept silent instead;
Should have never spoken my mind.
Never again will my trust be so blind.
Honestly thinking I could tell you anything-
The mistake of my own hopeful dreaming.
I messed everything up again.
I should have kept silent instead;
Now I am left here feeling dead,
And the gray clouds form overhead.
Please tell me that it's okay; it's going to be okay
Tell me we will talk tomorrow and again every day.
I messed everything up again.
I should have kept silent instead.
I am so sorry for anything I've done wrong
Let's forgive, forget, and move along
Look around, look around and you will see the wreckage
Which will remain til I receive your beckoning message
I know I messed everything up again.
I regret not staying silent instead.
But what you want is not what you need
You'll break down tonight and begin to bleed
Dec 25, 2013
Dec 25, 2013 at 11:16 PM UTC
Have you ever felt the impulse, the urge, the need
To scream, to shout, to yell out "I love you!"
You want to run head first, at full speed
And hope for sheer luck to pull you through
Have you ever craved, wanted, dreamed
To throw away, to hide, to cast aside your inhibitions?
You wish for everything to be as it seemed
And optimistically pray for easy transitions
Have you ever felt useless, undeserving, unworthy
Of a person, of their mind, of their soul
You are on an amazing journey
And I am left in awe from your being as a whole
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013 at 7:29 PM UTC
Dust swirls in the moonlight
I focus as it moves from left to right
I cannot sleep some nights
I hardly dream most nights
I lie awake & wish for wings so I may take flight
With every passing hour it's sleep my body fights
Let me fall asleep so I can be alright
I am frozen in my bed tonight
It is useless for me to try even out of spite
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 10:43 PM UTC
I watch the clock as I have been since the sixth of October.
I try to forget because it pains me to remember.
Lately I'm on edge; anticipating your call.
Though I cannot be certain you will call at all.
I know you have moved on, as have I.
But I am left here replaying our last goodbye.
It was a sorry excuse for our last words.
They're possibly the worst I have ever heard.
So stiff, and uninviting.
Both of us avoiding fighting.
A few tears were shed, I admit.
Yet friendship we must permit.
Simply too overwhelmed then to let you go.
Now I anxiously await a simple, "Hello."
Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013 at 4:06 PM UTC
The future scares.
Terrifies.
Horrifies.
The future sits in the shadows,
As ominous as fog covering gallows,
Remaining the great unknown
With such an undecided tone.
Some may find delight in discussing what they believe the future to hold.
They hope typically for self-fortunes & gold.
However; there exists a group to which I belong.
One that sings a very different song.
One that does not rejoice in beseeching time
To allow us plans of our own design.
Persuasion plays no part.
The relevance belongs to the matters of the heart.
Simply put, yet believed to be true.
Do not ask me to hold in my future a place for you.
It is said, "Only time will tell,"
But what if you have missed the deciding yell?
Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013 at 12:48 AM UTC
I do not believe in any greater being calling the shots
I do not believe in any exterior Heaven or Hell.
In the end, The Great End, will it be taken into account that I can balance a checkbook?
That I have the astonishing ability to give you the electron configuration of an element?
I do not believe these are things with which to be wasting what precious time we are allowed.
We should be living. Truly living.
Yet, it should be taken into account that "living" has a different definition to each person.
To some, living is simply keeping your blood rushing and lungs inhaling
But what good are veins if you cannot feel excitement overpowering blood?
What good are lungs if from time to time, they are not left barren from pure beauty?
Dec 15, 2013
Dec 15, 2013 at 10:06 PM UTC