I learned a couples things
that took entirely way too long.
Some people enter your life for a reason,
whether they’re here to stay or go.
They all teach a lesson to help you grow.
Some change with the seasons,
blow away with the wind.
You never know a person
as well as you think you do.
I look around when the leaves turn,
a variety of colors
of people you will meet.
When I thought every bridge burned,
nothing but ash and forgotten pasts,
from friendships and relationships
that never last.
She pulls me out the rubble again,
time after time with no hesitation.
She holds on to me while everyone
disappears as quickly as they come.
My best friend.
Some people enter your life for a reason,
a lesson if you will.
But not her.
By her side, I fear not for those
who leave and chose to become
a lesson to learn.
She holds my hand and reminds
me I am enough, we are enough.
She’s my comfort when things
get rough, when my life is in rubble.
Together, we shield each other
from the chaos of life.
Some people blow away
like the wind but she stays,
my firm foundation in the storm
when every leaf flutters away.
She plants a seed of happiness
in me that we nurture every day.
My best friend. The one that stays.
The one I cannot live this life without.
Aug 28, 2023
Aug 28, 2023 at 6:45 PM UTC
There will never be enough words for you.
Probably that’s why I keep trying.
But what you mean to me is a swell of feeling, something I don’t know how to find voice for.
Not all the way.
You ask me for an explanation, for reason, for words when they don’t exist.
I am pleonastic, skin covered in scrawled ink,
But I can’t give you what you want,
Can’t give you something that is swimming so large inside me.
Because what I feel for you is more than me, more than I have ever had contained within me before.
I love you like you’re mine.
Aug 26, 2023
Aug 26, 2023 at 1:42 PM UTC
I’d rather write than speak
My pen is always responsive
My ink doesn’t judge my mistakes
My paper doesn’t argue
My lines never cross me
My sentences never disappoint
And my words will never leave me
Aug 26, 2023
Aug 26, 2023 at 1:38 PM UTC
I listened to my inner voice....
When I was filled with fear, when I learned at a young age that real monsters do exist and they are not like the ones in any story book I ever read. The monsters stole away any normal childhood that I could of or should of had. Pain muted my words from flowing and poisoned my thoughts into growing... this is why I trusted no one.
At the time I had no other choice... when I was
really the only friend I could totally depend on and count on
I listened to my inner voice...
I listened to my heart...
When all I could hear was a pounding in my ears, when all around me was like a crazy chaotic whirlwind screeching like a barred owl that would then break apart into tiny pieces and sink into a cold abyss forgotten by the sea. I couldn’t forget the grief as it was real and still inside me. There was a brokenness about me my
heart was fragile and it balanced on the tip of my own desperation
but still I listened to my heart...
I listened to the words...
Slowly but surely I was able to come out from that darkened sea and was finally able to try and heal me. Words became my saving grace. I learned to not have muted lips and could give myself a fighting chance. I was able to tear down some of those protective walls to try again to live only in this moment without the armor and the hesitation. Writing became my new love... together we became an inseparable piece of one existence...
I felt so much better after I listened to the words ....
Aug 26, 2023
Aug 26, 2023 at 1:33 PM UTC
I don’t want your fingers to bleed
while holding the pieces of my broken heart
I don’t want your eyes to cry
for the pain that lives inside me
I don't want your tounge to taste blood
each time it whispers my name
I don’t your hands to shiver
while reaching for my cold soul
I don’t want you to suffocate
while drawing air to my lungs
I don’t want you to consume
the venom that flows inside my veins
I don’t want you to break down
in the process of healing me
So I’ll love you but only from a safe distance
Knowing that we don’t belong to each other
I’ll always love you
But will never show it
Aug 26, 2023
Aug 26, 2023 at 1:23 PM UTC
It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms
It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces
of your heart
that you don't yet understand
It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave
It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived
Aug 26, 2023
Aug 26, 2023 at 1:16 PM UTC
You say you trust me but constantly spy on me
checking my location dozens of times a day
confronting me when every little movement doesn't add up
when I don't tell you exactly where I am
when I don't tell you my every single move
I can't breathe, I can't move
it feels like you're holding a pillow to my face
as I claw and kick at any limb I can catch
it's a battle between the two of us
seeing who will pass out first
who will give in and give up
You treat me as a child
even as we're both in our twenties
I don't need another deadbeat dad
telling me everything I'm doing wrong
nagging me for every decision I make
never believing in me,
criticizing every move I make
I don't need someone else
who is only proud to be seen with me
when it works best for them
acting like an overbearing mother
with a delinquent of a child
keeping me on a leash shorter than your temper
I am scared to make one wrong move
to finally rid myself
of this disease you call love
Jul 30, 2023
Jul 30, 2023 at 5:04 AM UTC
I was so desperate to be loved that I grabbed you, holding you inside my heart
where you stuck out like splinters, hurting every time I felt anything, every time I breathed
I built my own coffin using all the memories I held of us, all the hurt with each ***** of the wood you purposeful shoved into me
like the thorns on a rose, there is no beauty without pain but why did I have to get stuck. Was it because I held on too long?
the trickles of rose red blood sliding down my finger, my hands - the same ones you held as you wished me well, wished me love and happiness you had no intention of providing
I plucked you from the bush but you stared at me with the same wilted look in your eyes as these flowers had when they reached their expiration date, when we reached our expiration date
Jun 26, 2023
Jun 26, 2023 at 10:20 PM UTC
The kids I babysit are my favorite part of the day,
Their laughter and smiles always brighten my way.
I love hearing their stories and playing their games,
And watching them grow up is one of life's greatest aims.
They're curious and kind, full of wonder and joy,
And I feel so lucky to be a part of their world!
From the silly faces they make to the songs they sing,
I know that these moments are the best thing.
We play games, read books, and watch TV,
And I'm always amazed by how much they teach me.
From learning new words to trying new foods,
I love all the adventures that we get to choose.
Sometimes we go outside and run around,
Or we just sit and chat and make silly sounds.
No matter what we do, we always have fun,
And I'm grateful that I get to be the one.
Babysitting my best friends are a privilege and a pleasure,
And I'm grateful for every moment that we treasure.
I know that we'll always be friends, no matter what,
And I can't wait to see where our adventures will take us.
I cherish the memories we make together,
And I hope that they'll remember me forever.
I love the kids I babysit, with all my heart,
And I know that they'll always be a special part.
May 11, 2023
May 11, 2023 at 4:53 PM UTC
In the quiet of the night, I'm alone with my thoughts.
The world outside fades away, as the darkness becomes my cloth.
I'm surrounded by an emptiness, a void that cannot be filled.
A feeling of isolation, that leaves my soul unfulfilled.
I long for someone to hold, to share my deepest fears
but the loneliness consumes me, and I'm left with only tears.
The silence echoes through the room, as I'm lost in my own mind.
The weight of my own thoughts, is all that I can find.
The hours pass by slowly, as I'm trapped within my head.
The loneliness is suffocating and I'm filled with silent dread.
But then a light begins to shine, a glimmer of hope within the dark.
And I realize that I'm not alone, that I can make a new start.
For in the stillness of the night, I find the strength to fight.
And I know that I can overcome the darkness with its might.
So I'll embrace the solitude and learn to be alone,
for in the quiet of the night, I'll find a new home.
May 10, 2023
May 10, 2023 at 1:42 PM UTC