mckenzie-sauer - Hello Poetry

Today, you popped up on the "people you may know" on Facebook. I paused, caught my breath, and was forced to look. Because Facebook doesn't understand that you are not people I may know, but you are a person that I knew. A memory took me to a time that I forced myself to forget I lived through. Yet here you are again, a small square picture staring back at me. And seven mutual friends have the memories of our life that couldn't be. I remember how it felt to hold your hand, I remember those piercing eyes. I remember your broken smile, a smile I despise. I remember the things you said, I remember my battle cry, I remember the glass shatter against the wall, I remember asking why. And as I stare at this small square picture I can see you remember too. For everything that weighs me down, must also nag at you. You left the person in your life who loved you the most. You said goodbye to the memories you became my personal ghost. Did I pop up as people you may know to you as well? Does looking into my fake smile and green eyes ring a bell? You took from me my happiness. You tried to ruin my self. You took my laugh, you took my tears, and made them a trophy on your shelf. But I refuse to lay down and let you walk all over me. I refuse to let you bind my soul, I refuse to let you hold the key. I am strong, and I deserve more than you could ever see. I deserve it, not because of you, but for simply being me. Today I saw you as "people you make know" on Facebook, it was quite the shock. But keep in mind, Dad, I may forgive, but I definitely have not forgot.

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Sep 8, 2015

Sep 8, 2015 at 2:51 AM UTC

mckenzie-sauer

People I Once Knew

Today, you popped up on the "people you may know" on Facebook. I paused, caught my breath, and was forced to look. Because Facebook doesn't understand that you are not people I may know, but you are a person that I knew. A memory took me to a time that I forced myself to forget I lived through. Yet here you are again, a small square picture staring back at me. And seven mutual friends have the memories of our life that couldn't be. I remember how it felt to hold your hand, I remember those piercing eyes. I remember your broken smile, a smile I despise. I remember the things you said, I remember my battle cry, I remember the glass shatter against the wall, I remember asking why. And as I stare at this small square picture I can see you remember too. For everything that weighs me down, must also nag at you. You left the person in your life who loved you the most. You said goodbye to the memories you became my personal ghost. Did I pop up as people you may know to you as well? Does looking into my fake smile and green eyes ring a bell? You took from me my happiness. You tried to ruin my self. You took my laugh, you took my tears, and made them a trophy on your shelf. But I refuse to lay down and let you walk all over me. I refuse to let you bind my soul, I refuse to let you hold the key. I am strong, and I deserve more than you could ever see. I deserve it, not because of you, but for simply being me. Today I saw you as "people you make know" on Facebook, it was quite the shock. But keep in mind, Dad, I may forgive, but I definitely have not forgot.

13

It's days like this that I miss you the rain falls down drenching the morning dew I see the trees bend this way and that and my mind begins to wander brings my memories back Back to the moments of laughter and smiles if I could have that again I would walk for miles You would never know the way my heart breaks inside my eyes flowing like the raging river the piercing cries that I can't hide It's days like this that make me wonder what would've happened if our love hadn't gone under If you never met her where would I be would you be looking for someone like her or would you still be in love with me Our love would be the spring the winter, summer, fall was I not worth giving it your all It's days like this when I see the one at fault was never me You are the one who never tried didn't matter how much I pried cried, lied, died. It's days like this when I know that words mean nothing your actions show It's days like this that I'm happy you're gone because this broken soul is done.

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Sep 15, 2014

Sep 15, 2014 at 3:34 PM UTC

mckenzie-sauer

It's Days Like This

It's days like this that I miss you the rain falls down drenching the morning dew I see the trees bend this way and that and my mind begins to wander brings my memories back Back to the moments of laughter and smiles if I could have that again I would walk for miles You would never know the way my heart breaks inside my eyes flowing like the raging river the piercing cries that I can't hide It's days like this that make me wonder what would've happened if our love hadn't gone under If you never met her where would I be would you be looking for someone like her or would you still be in love with me Our love would be the spring the winter, summer, fall was I not worth giving it your all It's days like this when I see the one at fault was never me You are the one who never tried didn't matter how much I pried cried, lied, died. It's days like this when I know that words mean nothing your actions show It's days like this that I'm happy you're gone because this broken soul is done.

47

What exactly is "awe"? Is it something you feel is it something you saw? Does it lay in a sunset on a beach? it felt so close, yet so out of reach. Does it lay in the eyes of a child as she discovers something new? Is it forgiving other people while receiving forgiveness too? Is it watching a person grow as they become a better person than the person you used to know? Maybe it's stepping on a stage feeling excitement no matter your age. Is it reminiscing on people passed? Feeling their touch inside of you a touch that will always last. Is it touching hundreds of flowers or laughing for the last time in your last hours? Maybe it's in music the beat inside the wonder glowing on your face a glow you just can't hide. None of these answers are wrong. Find it in a setting or in a song. No matter where life may take you make sure you find the wonder in every little thing you do.

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Sep 8, 2014

Sep 8, 2014 at 12:12 AM UTC

mckenzie-sauer

Wonder

What exactly is "awe"? Is it something you feel is it something you saw? Does it lay in a sunset on a beach? it felt so close, yet so out of reach. Does it lay in the eyes of a child as she discovers something new? Is it forgiving other people while receiving forgiveness too? Is it watching a person grow as they become a better person than the person you used to know? Maybe it's stepping on a stage feeling excitement no matter your age. Is it reminiscing on people passed? Feeling their touch inside of you a touch that will always last. Is it touching hundreds of flowers or laughing for the last time in your last hours? Maybe it's in music the beat inside the wonder glowing on your face a glow you just can't hide. None of these answers are wrong. Find it in a setting or in a song. No matter where life may take you make sure you find the wonder in every little thing you do.

28

Does "I love you" have an end? Is it saved for your spouse, or that special friend? When is "I love you"'s expiration date? Is it written on a memo that I received a day late? I was ready for my "I love you" to sing a thousand songs, While your "I love you" led me to a path of wrongs. Regret, pain everything inside. These are feelings an "I love you" can never hide. My "I love you" showed in my face it was more than just words. It was almost as if it was in the wind carried gently by there birds. You could find it in my smile turn over a fallen leaf it was a sure promise a promise I could keep. It kept me going no matter the day and when I said it what did you say? "I love you too". You said it first, who would have known how three words could lead to a world of hurt. If I would have known the last "I love you" said would have been the finale I could tell you the thoughts in my head. Please don't leave. I beg you to stay. Please don't through my "I love you " away. I don't use it loosely I want to hold you close. Your touch was what I longed for the most. But where we are now I guess all I can do is hope you love her as much as I loved you, and that she will love you too.

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Sep 8, 2014

Sep 8, 2014 at 12:05 AM UTC

mckenzie-sauer

Expired

Does "I love you" have an end? Is it saved for your spouse, or that special friend? When is "I love you"'s expiration date? Is it written on a memo that I received a day late? I was ready for my "I love you" to sing a thousand songs, While your "I love you" led me to a path of wrongs. Regret, pain everything inside. These are feelings an "I love you" can never hide. My "I love you" showed in my face it was more than just words. It was almost as if it was in the wind carried gently by there birds. You could find it in my smile turn over a fallen leaf it was a sure promise a promise I could keep. It kept me going no matter the day and when I said it what did you say? "I love you too". You said it first, who would have known how three words could lead to a world of hurt. If I would have known the last "I love you" said would have been the finale I could tell you the thoughts in my head. Please don't leave. I beg you to stay. Please don't through my "I love you " away. I don't use it loosely I want to hold you close. Your touch was what I longed for the most. But where we are now I guess all I can do is hope you love her as much as I loved you, and that she will love you too.

46

Why do you do this? Come to me tell me I'm what you want tell me everything we could be. I began to believe the words you spun instead of putting myself first you became number one. I felt the need to protect it this little comfort we made I thought I was helping you but I needed to be saved. As it bubbled to the surface a time bomb ticking I never saw the poison at which my heart was licking. The toxicity eroded at the heart I had built and from you not one notion of guilt. I wanted to save us I never stopped trying. You destroyed us, you're the reason I'm crying. And as my emotions swim the depths of the seas what gives you the right to be who you want to be? How dare you take me for granted. May I remind you it was my second chance I handed to you. And you destroyed it ended up playing, hurting, and toying with it. Breaking me down into nothing whatever nothing may be. You wouldn't know because you don't feel like me.

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Sep 7, 2014

Sep 7, 2014 at 11:55 PM UTC

mckenzie-sauer

You Don't Feel

Why do you do this? Come to me tell me I'm what you want tell me everything we could be. I began to believe the words you spun instead of putting myself first you became number one. I felt the need to protect it this little comfort we made I thought I was helping you but I needed to be saved. As it bubbled to the surface a time bomb ticking I never saw the poison at which my heart was licking. The toxicity eroded at the heart I had built and from you not one notion of guilt. I wanted to save us I never stopped trying. You destroyed us, you're the reason I'm crying. And as my emotions swim the depths of the seas what gives you the right to be who you want to be? How dare you take me for granted. May I remind you it was my second chance I handed to you. And you destroyed it ended up playing, hurting, and toying with it. Breaking me down into nothing whatever nothing may be. You wouldn't know because you don't feel like me.

39

Reaching for something but not knowing what wanting to love you but deep wounds you cut. It may not be surface It’s more than skin deep as I hold all the pain you no longer keep. I’m drowning, please help you have the key. Pick up your lifesaver and throw it to me. I know you won’t save me I need not to try but when I remember us I feel the need to cry. My heart is still beating the pulse like waves approaching the beach remembering the paths we paved. You do not understand the level of love I hold but you walked away leaving me in the cold and I begged you to listen I wanted to yell but the look on your face I could already tell we were done. I couldn’t fight for two years I tried with all my might but you looked me in the eye and as cold as could be said the story you were writing no longer included me. So here I am alone wishing our hearts still beat as one having to accept the face that everything we have is gone.

0

Sep 7, 2014

Sep 7, 2014 at 11:46 PM UTC

mckenzie-sauer

Gone

Reaching for something but not knowing what wanting to love you but deep wounds you cut. It may not be surface It’s more than skin deep as I hold all the pain you no longer keep. I’m drowning, please help you have the key. Pick up your lifesaver and throw it to me. I know you won’t save me I need not to try but when I remember us I feel the need to cry. My heart is still beating the pulse like waves approaching the beach remembering the paths we paved. You do not understand the level of love I hold but you walked away leaving me in the cold and I begged you to listen I wanted to yell but the look on your face I could already tell we were done. I couldn’t fight for two years I tried with all my might but you looked me in the eye and as cold as could be said the story you were writing no longer included me. So here I am alone wishing our hearts still beat as one having to accept the face that everything we have is gone.

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