It had been about 5 months
170 days
When i realized i wasn't over you
And I never will be
Because this pain
Feels like the day you left
Left me young and stupid
Missing you
Numb and forgotten
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 26, 2015 at 8:18 PM UTC
I feel so restless
Since i have no place that feels like home
This house is filled with demons
I lie awake
My bones aching for you to come back
Left with no more tears to cry
Because you were the only thing
That ever felt like home
And this empty space in my bed
Haunts me like a ghost
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 1:11 PM UTC
The pain gets worse each day
Cuz I'll never love this way again
The smell of this old t shirt you gave me
Hurts so bad
I can be without you
This lonely day does not make me sad
But thinking of the many ahead
Kills me inside.
I wish you were here to hold me
To hug me
Kiss me
Sing with me
Laugh with me
I know two years is so short
But it feels so long already
And theres nothing i can do
So I'll cry into this t shirt
And hide the way i feel
Numb myself
Fake a smile
And then
I'll be "okay".
Even though i know when you come back
You wont come back to me.
Sep 12, 2014
Sep 12, 2014 at 12:34 AM UTC
Stop the monsters in my head
Cease the rampage in my mind
Let me close my teary eyes
Just for a moment
In this dewdrop dazed summer dream
I will be okay
Til morning
Eyes wide open
I remember you're leaving
The room is flooded
Tear stained pillows and sheets
I drown in my sorrow
I suffocate
Weight on my fragile bones
Empty cavity in my chest
No one left to love me
No reason left to breathe
Aug 21, 2014
Aug 21, 2014 at 12:56 AM UTC
I dream about us
A ****** apartment close to the beach
Living with you
Falling asleep in your arms each night
And waking up with you each morning
Making breakfast together
watching movies after work
Road trips and exploration
You and I against the world
When life gets hard
Your kiss makes all well again
Knowing we don't have to do this alone
I'll care for you when you're sick
You'll do the same for me
Hot summer days
Cold winter nights
We'd be alone
But never lonely
Nothing to hold us back
I'll kiss you every chance i get
Like it's the last chance i have
I love you more than you could know
It's only a dream
Though dreams sometimes come true
And all of my dreams
Involve a life with you
Aug 18, 2014
Aug 18, 2014 at 1:55 AM UTC
The fireworks tonight are beautiful
But they can hardly compare
To the sparks between us
And the stars in your perfect eyes
Jul 5, 2014
Jul 5, 2014 at 1:40 AM UTC
So this is what its like to be in love.
When every second spent with you is time not wasted
When every spontaneous gift or kiss means the world
Your smile brightens my day
I could swim a mile
In your too blue eyes
When I'm close to your family
And closer to you
Than anyone
When I trust you more than anyone
I can be myself and know
you won't judge
Our friends refer to us as a unit
Because we're the best team
When the feeling of your lips
pressed against mine
is the most comforting thing i know
Our hands are like
the gears of a clock
Designed to fit together
Your eyes and mine
Fixed like points in time
Hearts racing
Eyes closing
Lips touching
Your hands on my waist
My hands around your neck
We were made for each other
I can feel it
In the way we
Touch
Speak
And act
Every love song was written about us it seems
If anyone asked,
What it was like to be in love
With your best friend
I'd say
Like the world is finally right
Like I'm finally okay
And I know what's right for me
Love feels like you.
May 7, 2014
May 7, 2014 at 12:38 AM UTC
We have five months
til you leave for two years
til you forget me
til I'm just another ex
a has been
a would be
til everything we are
is for nothing
til our love
the early mornings
and late nights
singing and car rides
tickle fights
hugs
kisses
"I love you"s
end
The thing about this, love
is for once
I can't be a has been
or a would be
I just want to be yours
to wake up and see your face each morning
cook breakfast together
see you at your worst
and at your best
and love you more each moment
to make our lives one
I cant be a has been
or a would be
or the one that got away
I just want to be
your "the one"
because you'll always be mine.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 6:58 PM UTC
How do I keep good grades
When I can't find the willpower to pull myself out of bed to get to school
How do I keep a good relationship
When no one can convince me I'm worth anything
How do I keep my friends
When they all move away
How do I smile
When all I want to do is break down and cry
How can I love others
When I can't even love myself
How can I be responsible
When I can't remember to eat or do homework
How can I do anything
When I try to sleep
And darkness slips through my dreams
"You're a failure"
"You're worth nothing to anyone"
"What's the point in living anymore?"
How can I face the dark
When you say to "just get over it"
"Just get out of bed"
"Be a good student"
How can I be strong
There's so much weight on my shoulders
Like a freight train of things to do
But I am so weak
My bones are brittle
I have cuts and scars that will not heal
I can't believe in myself
And no one else will
So this train will crush my brittle bones
I'll be nothing and no one
But that's no different than what I am today
I'll be gone with the wind
Shattered and swept away
With no one to remember
The girl who tried her hardest
Which was never enough.
Mar 7, 2014
Mar 7, 2014 at 2:18 PM UTC
I constantly try to pinpoint the moment
When liking a song
Transforms
Into knowing every word
Liking the album
Falling in love with the band
For better or for worse
When the songs on your iPod
Turn into mosh pits at a concert
Where the only emotions are
Adrenaline
Hope
Joy
Love
Unity
When did a band
Become a piece of me?
How did hearing "nine in the afternoon"
At the pool
Become band merch
Concerts
Dedication
When did hearing songs in your truck
Turn into meeting Jason Lancaster
Braving 112 degree weather
All for the music
When did music
Become a valid medication
For this depression I face
And sometimes I sit and wonder
"Where would I be without music?"
Mar 1, 2014
Mar 1, 2014 at 3:29 AM UTC