I said everything was fine
Knowing you'll never be mine.
Still, I smiled and laughed
While I shed tears
You couldn't see.
But I died inside
When I agreed to still be friends.
All I want to do
Is crawl in a hole and die
But instead I'll just lay here and cry.
Dec 3, 2015
Dec 3, 2015 at 5:58 AM UTC
May God forgive me
But death is all I see
In my future
I'm sorry
Aug 21, 2015
Aug 21, 2015 at 4:32 PM UTC
I try to smile
But it's been a while
I try to laugh
But it hurts to try
I look at you
And i almost cry
But you say that it's alright
And suddenly this night
Isn't so unbearable
But then you left me alone
Alone in the dark
I tried to be everything
You wanted but what
You wanted was a **** to call your's
I'm sorry
But that's not me
And I don't know if that's what you see
When you see me
I try to smile
But it's been so long
And i'm too far gone
Maybe way up high
I'll learn to fly
And I'll finally be happy
Aug 21, 2015
Aug 21, 2015 at 12:58 AM UTC
Is it wrong to be me?
Is your favorite daughter all you see?
You call her day and night
While I sit in a corner and weep
This just isn't right
Why can't I be me?
Why do I have to live in my sister's shadow?
This just isn't right.
Aug 19, 2015
Aug 19, 2015 at 1:48 PM UTC
Dry your eyes
It's over now
I'll show you the way
I'll show you how
Remember all those crazy nights?
I looked at you
But had no clue
That you'd be the one
I was down
I was done
But then you showed me
How to move on
Now I know
That you'll never let go
I won't fall
I won't lose it all
Because I have you.
Aug 19, 2015
Aug 19, 2015 at 1:22 PM UTC
Dear Mother,
I'm sorry I'm not enough
I'm sorry I'm not smart enough
Not pretty enough
Not talented enough
I'm sorry I'm not graceful
I'm sorry I'm sensitive
I'm sorry I'm not
The daughter you wanted
Dear Father,
I'm sorry I'm not enough
I'm sorry I'm not a boy
Not a basketball star
Not top of the class
Not strong enough
I'm sorry I'm not perfect
I'm sorry I'm not a genius
I'm sorry I'm not
The child you wanted
Dear Sister,
I'm sorry I'm sad sometimes
I'm sorry I'm not the ideal big sister
Not very pretty
Not silly enough
Not open enough
I'm sorry you got stuck with me
I'm sorry I'm not perfect
I'm sorry I'm not
The sister you wanted
Dear Neighbor,
I'm sorry I'm annoying
I'm sorry I'm not social enough
Not doing what you're doing
Not easily excited
Not happy enough
I'm sorry I'm the only one your age
I'm sorry I'm not athletic enough
I'm sorry I'm not
The neighbor you wanted
Dear Family,
You don't care
But I'm sorry
I'm not enough
Dear Friends,
You don't exist
But I'm sorry
I will never be enough
Dear world,
I'm sorry
I wasn't enough
So I'm leaving
Goodbye
Aug 13, 2015
Aug 13, 2015 at 3:34 AM UTC
I've spent a lifetime
Trying to be who you wanted me to be
Don't you see?
I'm not like you at all
I can feel my barriers crumbling
Old fears tumbling over themselves
I don't know what to do
Because I'm nothing like you
But you know it now
I don't know how
I can't ever face your piercing stare again
I'm sorry dad...
Aug 9, 2015
Aug 9, 2015 at 8:34 PM UTC
I told you that you would be the one who got away. Those words still hold true to this day
I told you I would fix your heart break
If me taking the heartbreak helped
Then I'm okay with that.
I told you I loved you to the moon and back
I remember those words as I look at it now
I hope you have someone who reminds you to take your contacts out before you fall asleep
I hope someone reminds you to keep your head up on hard days
I hope someone reminds you that it's just another day
I hope someone calls you randomly cause you love that so much
I hope he treats you like a queen
Cause you were mine
For the next guy. Take care of her?
Like I was never capable of
I realized now that timing is what's everything.
Are time just wasn't then
My hope for you is that you are happy
That you make the best out of life
I saw what you were capable of
You changed the way I saw relationships
You changed the way I saw love
You changed the way I feel
You changed my passion of life
I see thing clearer
I see things brighter
You gave me that light in life
I'm chasing that light now
I'm finding it in my dreams
I will leave you with these memories
This is it my dear
The time has come
To say our final
Goodbye
Aug 9, 2015
Aug 9, 2015 at 8:21 PM UTC
Lies are a beautiful thing.
Like "i love you"
it makes you feel special
but deep down,
you know it's a lie.
i know it's a lie.
but why do you keep telling it?
you lead me on
then shut me down.
i don't know what you want
I used to think you meant it.
i felt protected.
but it was all just worthless lies.
still, lies are a beautiful thing.
they give you hope
and give you faith.
they make you feel loved.
but it's all just worthless lies
i can help it
it makes me wanna cry
why do you do this to me?
i thought i meant something
but it turns out i'm nothing
to
you.
i give you my all
and you give me your lies.
i reach for you
but you just let me fall.
it's all just worthless lies...
you told me everything would be alright
but you
lied.
Jul 26, 2015
Jul 26, 2015 at 11:15 PM UTC
anger blooms
pain blossoms
the urge is there.
what to do?
keep it in,
explode.
let it out,
****** chaos.
what to do?
the beast inside me
grows every day.
Counseling?
doesn't help.
tell someone?
they'll lock me up.
these thoughts i have
must remain secret
to those around me.
fear of the unknown
fear of harming others
that's what keeps the beast at bay.
Jul 25, 2015
Jul 25, 2015 at 10:17 AM UTC