My Mother, sobbing
In my bedroom asking me
Why I needed this
Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 11:12 PM UTC
I think you
Wanted to forget so
Much
That you
Needed to
Forget yourself
And you cut
All those white lines
And spoke
All of those white lies
And I was too weak
To be your escape
And I think you
Would have sliced open your skin
And crushed your bones
To white powder
If you could
And I think I loved you
So much that
I would have too
Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 11:11 PM UTC
I saw your house the other day
And someone told me
Do you know
That some of the richest
People live there
And I remember
Your bruises
That bloomed on
Your skin
When your dad was in town
Or the way your Mom
Came home late some nights
Wearing perfume
(To get groceries)
And how no one
Spoke of your older brother
But you always put flowers
On his grave
And I think
Some people are so poor
All they have is money
I hope you have more than that
Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 11:11 PM UTC
I once
Closed my mouth
Long enough to see
All of my ribs
I waited to
See my hipbones
And then I waited
To see my collar bones
And I guess part of me waited
Just to know I was still there
Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 11:11 PM UTC
I thought
We were going to ****
But it’s 2 AM
And you’re biting your lip
Telling me things
That you’ve never told anybody
And I’m telling you
All my awful secrets
And I feel ashamed
My breaths held back
And you’re eyes are shut
I bite my lip
Wishing I could take them back
But you open them
And look down at me
And I think that’s why I
Fell in love with 2 AM
You smiled because
You knew all my awful secrets
And you
Stayed anyway
Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 11:10 PM UTC
My neighbors had a dog
Who loved
the little boy of the family
And would wait
Every day
For him to get back from school
And the little boy
Didn’t wake up one day
And even now
Years later I
Look outside my window
Pouring rain
Or blue skies
And see all the little kids
Get off the school bus
And that dog
Whose hair turned gray
Still waits
And you can call
But she won’t leave
Until the bus leaves
And I wish I could love something
Enough to
Wait forever
But I think
She loved that boy
So much
She forgot to love herself
Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 11:10 PM UTC
I realized in
Church
Today
That
Even though you said you
Love(d)
Me
You are no martyr
And I shouldn’t
Have made you out to be
And you wouldn’t sacrifice
Yourself for anyone
Least of all me
Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 11:09 PM UTC
I fumbled my hands
And listened
And I hung up
And I cried for a while
And a while
And a while
Thinking about you
And feeling
Sins pouring through
My eyes
And god that guilt
And how I
Love(d) you
And that fact
Almost kills me too
Some nights
Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 11:09 PM UTC
I passed through
And it said 24 hours
And mine were running away from me
So I grabbed enough to make me forget
And I almost wanted someone to stop me
Handing them enough bills
And I walked out
And I walked to the corner
And tried to feel something
Until the bottles were empty
And so was I
Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 11:08 PM UTC
You tell me
You don’t like changing
In the locker room
And pull your sleeves down
And I think
There’s more under
Your clothes
Then skin
You tell me
You find a
"Don’t jump" self help book
On your Mom’s bedside table
And you don’t say anything else
About it
But I hope you
Don’t jump either
You laugh
And say
You hate soup
So you don’t eat anything instead
And I think I know something
You hate more than soup
You bite your lip
And tell me I look nice
And I hope you know
I like you too
Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 11:08 PM UTC