I never meant to be mean
Despite our differences
All I wanted
Was to make it right
To make you understand the depth of my feelings.
You kept on saying and swearing that you weren’t seeing anyone else
When the real question I was asking was if I ever had your heart
You kept on saying you cared for me
When all I wanted was for you to prove it.
And I, who always felt the words comforting
Found myself struggling with yours,
Not understanding all the sentences that kept coming from your mouth
Because my entire being was focusing on one simple sentence:
He is a liar.
You said I don’t have to make any effort from now on
But how can you be trusted
When you made me hope for so much
Yet gave me so little.
May 6, 2018
May 6, 2018 at 3:45 PM UTC
You know how I always say that our existence should have a meaning?
Not necessary something big,
Not necessary something important and life changing
But something that will affect others
and maybe make their life a little easier.
I feel like I am supposed to be the girl who helps boys like you
to get over a girl they once loved.
I make them forget their lost
I make them forget their pain
I kiss them, I hug them, I make them feel special
even if I know for sure,
they are not thinking about me
when they kiss me so fiercely
they are not thinking about me
when they touch me,
their mind are a thousand miles from here
wishing they had someone else in their arms
wishing for their true lovers to come back.
And it hurts to think that I will never be the one they crave for
I will never be the one they are trying to forget
simply because I am easy to get
and easy to leave.
He touched me in a way you never did,
my body liked it and asked for more
while my soul was digging its own grave.
I am the no “strings attached” kind of girl
I kiss them the night
only to leave early in the morning
while they still dream
about their lovers.
May 6, 2018
May 6, 2018 at 3:38 PM UTC
I just stood there glancing at him
as this little voice in my head kept whispering to me
that he wasn’t the one,
and will never be
For I lost the only person I ever cared for.
I just stood there glancing at his lips
While he worshiped my kisses
Begging for my skin to be against his
Craving for my touch
I just stood there glancing at his eyes
Hoping that someday, they will resemble yours
Trying to catch sight of his soul
To prove myself he had at least one thing in commun with you
I could have simply walked away
But instead I stood there
waiting for something I couldn’t control
waiting for something he couldn’t give me
waiting for his love to magically appear
No it wasn’t right,
Asking for his love
when I knew I couldn’t accept it
Asking for his love
when I didn’t love him
Asking for love
in the exact same place where I lost yours
Dec 13, 2017
Dec 13, 2017 at 4:59 PM UTC
Don’t get me started on love,
for I can spend hours describing it,
I would say things like:
Love is a temporary strike of light in the night sky,
An unexpected moment of joy drown in an ocean of misery
Serendipity.
Love is powerful, love is passion
But love is rough
Love is sadness
Love is smoking a cigarette while listening to your favorite music at the moonlight
Love is writing his name on every inch of your heart
But love is rare, love is precious.
And among all things
Love is gone.
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 24, 2017 at 5:51 PM UTC
My heart chose not to heal
It just kept absorbing all the sadness it found around
and amplifying it
to the extend that
It turned little troubles
into petrifying nightmares
and basic questions
into existential issues.
My heart kept on dreaming about a world
that was far from perfect
glamorizing each person
embellishing reality
fantasizing.
My heart was simply not meant for peace
And sometimes I am mad at it
for it causes me more sadness
than I have or can carry within me.
But the heart wants what it wants
And sometimes, it *****
Oct 21, 2017
Oct 21, 2017 at 5:35 AM UTC
I didn’t leave you
I didn’t run .
Even when every one told me to,
I stayed
to patch your heart
the same way they used to repair broken pottery
with golden dust.
I didn’t leave you
I didn’t run .
But I gave you my love
and everything I had
even when i knew
that we were falling apart.
And now,
I can’t fix you anymore
with golden ink or deep kisses
And how am I supposed to draw you
when I don’t even remember
what I used to feel for you.
Is it my fault if you left me
Or your fault if I left you ?
But we will never found out my love
Because you left me too soon.
Or was it me who did ?
Oct 14, 2017
Oct 14, 2017 at 6:50 AM UTC
I went on a journey just by myself.
I wasn’t desperate for you anymore
and my heart was no longer craving for your kisses
My soul finally stopped missing yours
and this bound connecting us vanished.
I picked up those lovely debris you left behind
and put them in a jar
waiting for the right moment to come
the right moment to unite them for another time,
a last time.
I went on a journey just by myself.
leaving my memories of you where they belonged
in the dark, hidden so deep even I can’t reach them anymore.
I took my diary and started writing
about this peaceful person I turned into
and this tenderness I found in people I met.
I didn’t know where I was going
I didn’t know if I was ever coming back
But i knew there was nothing left for me back there
Only a burned land
with desperate souls
and collapsing stars.
I stood still in the rain
and let the sun kiss gently my skin
I closed my eyes and heard the wind whispering:
“No matter where you end up
even if it is in this exact same place where you started,
in this barren land
both moving through times
and remaining unchanged
Know you won’t be you anymore
Know you will become
Those billions laughs you heard
and those infinite hugs you gave
Know you will be
those shooting stars you contemplate
And those nostalgic paintings you wrote.”
yo , no soy yo;
por lo menos no soy el mismo yo interior
Oct 12, 2017
Oct 12, 2017 at 5:09 AM UTC
You don’t know people until you know them,
and you know them when you know who they once loved-
so intensely its’ stained their soul,
so fiercely it caused a hole
in the exact same spot that once,
was filled with love.
You will know when you’ll start,
listening to their whispers.
Understanding their silence.
Trying to fill that void,
left by another soul.
One thing leading to another,
you’ll eventually find yourself
right between Scylla and Charybdis.
Navigating between
your lust to jump into their hurricane,
and your desire to go back to that storm of yours.
Hoping,
their hurricane could cover the sound of your own storm.
Fearing,
it could cause heavy rains that would wreck your soul.
Thunderstorm!
Deluge.
Blizzard.
You’ll know.
when you’ll know.
Oct 11, 2017
Oct 11, 2017 at 6:07 PM UTC
You never realized how frustrating it was, to be left aside.
All those times you deserted me
treading me for a fantasy of yours,
while you were sitting next to my window.
I begged you to take my love
but you didn’t want it,
you said you didn’t want to own something
you weren’t in need of,
like an old toy you keep in your closet but never use.
I begged you to take my body
but you didn’t want it
you said you didn’t want to settle for one body
when you already had many.
You looked up at the sky
As if you were searching
for something better than me.
But even the stars weren’t enough
to make this night a little bit less dark,
or your life, a lighter burden to bear.
You started searching for the moon, in vain.
I felt you slipping through my hands
so I offered you to take whatever you wanted.
whatever you needed.
Even my heart.
And when you were about to accept,
you saw the moonlight
entering through my window
as I saw my hopes
reduced to ashes.
And now, I sit next to my window every night,
mourning your absence
the same way the moon mourns the sun’s.
Isn’t it odd to miss something you never owned ?
Oct 11, 2017
Oct 11, 2017 at 2:56 AM UTC
It started raining,
as if God heard my prayers and sent some rain
to wash away yesterday’s sorrow.
But even God’s will and strength weren’t enough to erase
this image from my memory.
Every time I close my eyes, that’s all I can see.
Every time I turn the music off, that’s all I can hear.
It’s awaking my demons,
releasing them from the dungeon I spent so much time building,
fortifying.
But they do say you only attract what you are willing to accept,
and God knows how desperate for love she was.
She is my blood,
she is my flesh
but there are words that cannot remain unspoken
and no matter how much I would like her to know best,
she doesn’t.
She thinks she has nothing to loose,
no one to fear for,
but the only person I am afraid for,
is herself.
She experiences the same demons that shorten my nights,
the same voices that ruin my days
and I know for sure that ceding your heart to the wrong person
will do no good,
it only enhances everything, worsening your madness.
I know what it is like to loose yourself in a battlefield,
to love the wrong man.
I know how toxic it can be,
how it alters each one of your cells
forcing them to ask for more and more
turning you into an addict.
Making it barely impossible to go back to being by yourself.
She is the only one the blame
no one’s pushing her into his arms,
his ***** repugnant arms.
Maybe I care too much about words and art,
but he doesn’t seem to master any of those two.
He is just a rough soul who never stops to think and create.
And they are the worse kind of people,
those who never write, paint nor draw.
Because I can assure you that
you will be his art, his first canvas.
And darling, you know how the first drafts
and even the following ones
are never handled with precaution.
They are yelled at,
burnt,
mishandled
thrown away.
Art isn’t supposed to be nice,
it is messy, dark and usually teared into pieces.
So darling, enjoy your time left as a single entity.
Oct 9, 2017
Oct 9, 2017 at 12:29 PM UTC
