I'm never going to be the same
so I'll stop trying
I think that maybe I'm going insane
there's the cause for all of my crying
they all know I'm in emotional pain
yet they still keep on prying
I can't take much more, it's an unfair game
but I stay quiet and I'm inwardly dying
Mar 4, 2017
Mar 4, 2017 at 2:01 PM UTC
if i could hand you the world on a silver platter
trust me i would, you're so special to me
i want us to have a happily ever after
and i can't imagine anywhere else I'd rather be
than right here
in your arms
whispering in your ear
about how you're my shooting star
you shot across my sky
when i was in
the darkest of nights
we shine
like diamonds
so bright
and the love we share
is worth the fight
Dec 9, 2016
Dec 9, 2016 at 9:36 AM UTC
i wish i was totally numb and i could not feel
but the constant torment reminds me it is real
i'm alive
surprised i survived
i can hardly breathe
yet i still can think
everyday
i re-live the pain
my antedote is gone
i'm alone
so much...pain
why does it have to be this way?
agony, let go of me
I'm suffering
oh so slowly
i fight to take a breath
i'm so sorry ken, jordain
i'm losing my mind
running out of time
yet i still can rhyme
make the pain stop...
Dec 9, 2016
Dec 9, 2016 at 9:35 AM UTC
It's how I feel
I wonder if I'll heal
cuz
he took the breath out of me
left a gaping hole where my heart should be
left an open wound
I hope it'll fix itself soon
dangerous game
I'll never be the same
It toys with my mind and I've run out of time.
Dec 9, 2016
Dec 9, 2016 at 9:34 AM UTC
Those three words that could
Bring happy tears to your eyes
Brighten up your day
Clear gray skies
You wait for those words
All your life, not just from
Your parents of course
But from that one person
You'd spend infinity with
You wait and you wait
You're growing old
You still haven't heard those
Words
But if you did hear them
It wasn't meant to be
Because they didn't stay
Oh, how lonely you are
It's okay, I love you.
I may not be that
Significant other but
I may never meet you
Or I may pass you on the
Street and wouldn't know
It's you... Just know
This wonderful stranger
Loves you no matter
Who you are.
Dec 9, 2016
Dec 9, 2016 at 9:31 AM UTC
I never know what to say when people ask me what I fear the most. Because yes, spiders are gross and weird and yes, ghosts terrify me, but how could I explain that at night instead of nightmares filled with monsters, mine are just of someone walking away? how can I say that I stay awake going over everything wrong I’ve ever done? how can I tell them that my biggest fear is me not being good enough? All my life i’ve worried too much about what people think about me, and lately i’ve gotten better at not thinking about it so much, but there is someone in my life right now that I really don’t want to lose, and I’m scared. I’m scared because I know I mess up a lot, I know that I get repetitive and boring and I ramble when I’m nervous. So how am I supposed to say that I know my constant asking for reassurance that they want me in their life gets tiresome, but it's because its hard for me to imagine that someone actually would? How do I explain that I have never loved myself enough, so the thought of anyone else loving me seems so strange? I am bad at expressing myself, I either show too much emotion or too little, and I'm scared that that's a good enough reason for someone to walk away.
Dec 9, 2016
Dec 9, 2016 at 9:30 AM UTC
You are my sky.
the cure of my scar
You are my only wish
You are the shooting star.
You are the one I see
When there's no one for me
You are the one that stands
Even when the havoc lands.
You are my holy wing
You are above everything
You are the eye of my heart
You are the soul of my art.
You are my earth my space
You are the falling grace
You are my sun my moon
You are the light in doom
You are the All praised
You are the all grace
You are the Judge
You are the executioner of Grudge
You are The God
The only one I sought
You are the Love and melody
You are the soul of Rhapsody
You are the Beloved Lord
You are the God
The most beneficent Lord
MY GOD
Dec 7, 2016
Dec 7, 2016 at 2:51 PM UTC
"You don't have any respect for yourself, bouncing from guy to guy."
These words sting and stay with me every single day. To think that someone I once loved could say something like that to me. To think that someone I once loved actually thinks that of me. But more importantly, to think that the number of guys you've been with actually determines your self worth.
I could sit here and go on defending myself saying how m y number isn't even a high number but that's not the point. The point is that the number of guys you have dated or been with, however high that number may be, DOES NOT define your self worth.
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for about a year and a half without knowing it. Throughout the relationship he had said and done some pretty awful things to me; things that if my dad knew about, he would probably go to his house the next day to beat the **** out of him. But this one stuck to me like glue. Why? because he had made me believe it. He tricked my mind into thinking I was some kind of worthless person who doesn't respect myself.
I ask myself why I believed it. Why would someone believe that they are a **** with no self respect? Why would anyone think that ever about themselves? I think I believed it simply because the person who said this was the boy I loved, the boy I confided in, the boy I at one point saw my future with, telling me I have no self worth. It hit me hard, so hard. Harder than any other terrible thing he has said to me.
No guy should ever make you feel worthless.
No guy should ever convince you that you are anything less than whole.
No guy should ever degrade you throughout your relationship.
No guy should ever make you feel scared to be around him when he is angry.
No guy should ever put his hands on you.
No guy should ever throw your mental disorder in your face.
No guy should ever feel as though it is okay to purposely hurt you because he feels hurt.
No guy should ever make you feel like you're on top of the world one day and under it the next.
He did all of this.
I can see this now. I can see this now and I have two people that I call my best friends to thank for helping me through this past year. They always supported my decision; knowing that I was a smart girl and simply wanted me to be careful with him. They helped make me realize that what I was involved in was NOT okay. They knew it way before I did but until I had my "click", realizing that this is not healthy or worthwhile, I was going to stay in that relationship.
Thank god for my click.
Dec 7, 2016
Dec 7, 2016 at 2:51 PM UTC
I am the monster you created! I am the life that you hated! I am what you would like to destroy, now I am here to distress and annoy you! I am the ***** secret you wanted to bury. I am the thing that children find scary! I am the burden you have to carry. So why don't you admit that I am real and we can get on with learning how to deal with our co-existence as I torment your mind. I am your monster, I am your Frankenstein!
Dec 7, 2016
Dec 7, 2016 at 2:45 PM UTC