I feel my heart slowly closing again. My hopes and dreams shrinking once more. After I let you in. Taken for granted, my always open door. I forgave so much even when you went too far. It's raw, re-opened, this broken heart's scar. You can't feel me. You don't hear me. This thumping in my chest, silent screaming. Still you don't see. Yet I am always dreaming. That you can be the one, my one and only. But every night I cry, you only leave me lonely. I spent so many years on people who never truly wanted me. They only wanted what they perceived or shaped me to be.
I want to smother all my feelings and pretend it's all okay.
Lean into your hugs and kisses and by that my own heart betray.
Can't stop thinking of the plastic women lingering in your eyes.
Find myself re-capping all your prior lies.
My body fills with doubt and relentless anxiety.
I find it hard to believe I am a top priority.
You present a bandaid and expect me to forgive-
Let it all blowover; but you can't seem to understand this is no way for my trust, my love, to live.
I feel it gasping for breath - for crumbs to feed.
You place them on a pedestal with words like "they're out of my league."
Where does that put me? In your heart? Your mind?
The faith I once held in your words feels so very hard to find.
Always second best... or 'good enough' for you.
I feel myself falling apart and I don't know what to do.
Wallowing in my sorrow every couple days, hoping you actually see me and someone's love for me finally stays.
Like wind through an old window I feel thoughts creep in.
Chilling me with images of a secret sin.
I wish I didn't have to beg for your eyes. Your heart, your hands.
To want only me. I wish I didn't have to wonder if you thought of someone else you wish I would be. As we lay together. Side by side. I hate feeling like there's always something you hide.
Maybe I'm not the one for you, maybe this isn't something true.
I hate to think this way but I'm living in this distorted view.
Traumatized heart and watery eyes.
After I lived a life with half felt ties.
From lovers and partners who tried to mold me to their design.
While they yearned for other women or led me along.
I was always theirs but they were never mine.
Tired of living a life in doubt and repeating the same old song.
Maybe I am too broken and I'm no longer beautiful to you.
I wonder on nights like these if we will never make it through.
It doesn't matter what I do - what I wear.
I can't seem to get your words, your stare.
Everyone always just wants to dip their toes on the shore.
When it gets too deep, they don't want to know me more.
After every break in my chest -
I try not to let the cage of my heart calcify.
Give myself all the love I can, time to rest.
I always find myself believing the next guy.
I want you to be the last chance,
The last time I have to open it up.
I want to believe you will return all the love I give to my cup.
I want this to be my last dance.
But when your gaze lingered on my flaws -
I heard the words before they left your lips.
The same judgments my own mind whispered in my ears.
The moment that lived in my fears.
Everything that confirmed, "You're never good enough to be loved with a full heart."
Always on repeat... that part.
Always on repeat.
Finding myself in bed with my own self-defeat.
Turn down the covers,
Turn off the lights - all these inner fights.
Shutting down.
As my smile turns to a cracked frown.
How many times can you break the same piece until it will finally shatter?
I need to know, to really see, that I truly matter.
I feel me slipping through your fingers.
You speak all these sweet words and promises to my glistening green eyes.
My heart aches and here it lingers.
Though my mind now doubts and labels them as lies.
Am I pretty in all my broken pieces?
Sharp - they cut so deep.
Am I truly who you wish to keep?
I'm always gluing myself back together.
Look, I'm glittering with lines of gold.
I think I might be too much, too delicate, for someone to ever hold.
Another chapter where I pretend I'm all better.
I just want this story to be the right one.
No more rough drafts or unfinished chapters. When will my ink dry? When can I feel done?
I'm running out of parchment for paper hearts
And new starts.
......
May 5
May 5, 2026 at 1:13 PM UTC
In those silent moments, something sings in my mind.
Words from a song but a secret message to remind.
Father to daughter, those lyrics they shined.
Every poem you left behind.
I never knew the heart we shared.
Those romantic bones you bared.
Every heartbroken line in the pages on your shelves,
Once I read the words I felt the familiarity of our inner selves.
When I am all alone -
I hear a familiar tone.
Your written words brought to life,
Every time I fall into strife.
They were one of your favorites to hear,
From anything like yellow submarine to the final album released that year.
The verse haunts me like a final goodbye.
I find myself humming it, a message from up high.
"Let it be, let it be - whisper words of wisdom... let it be."
As you reassure me, "there will be an answer, let it be."
An invisible hand to guide me through,
Somehow I feel you speaking to me when I am lost and no longer know what to do.
"There are times within your life, I know, when things seem out of control. And you cannot understand - how it got so out of hand. But if you'll stop - for just one moment - to search for who you are, you'll find you're not a falling star..."
How your love it echoes in my heart and mind.
Beseeching me to know and love mine.
There's always a seat for you,
I save it everyday.
Running through our memories -
always on replay.
You always regret not having more time, its true..
With all my heart, I will always love you.
Apr 22
Apr 22, 2026 at 2:13 PM UTC
You met me with intention and sincerity -
Respect, admiration, and clarity.
The words unspoken on white lilies and soft pink roses.
Floral poetry that silently composes.
Words you could not yet convey,
subtle scented sentences that aided you to say:
Lilies spoke of a new possibility, so pure.
Roses talked of a future laced with happiness and adoration.
Surrounded by art - both so unsure.
This feeling grew like a wild carnation.
Orange to red, the colors bled.
Thorns from our pasts, wilting wounds they hesitantly ask - will it last?
Apologies sprouted left and right.
Oh, how I would sway.
You slowly became my light -
unlike a sunflower I tried to face away.
Softly, in a watery embrace.
I showed you my true face.
Naked words then poured out,
You finally erased my doubt.
Here we are, growing a garden where once was a drought.
These new roots, they have blossomed, into something more.
Flowery arrangements, someone to adore.
Finally a love that doesn't just pick me,
tear me up, and watch me fall apart.
Every botanical bouquet is a blessing you choose for me to see.
This one is for you, the man who truly holds my heart.
As our petals open wider,
the seasons shift and our days unfold,
I find myself held gently,
in something steady, sweet, and bold.
In your arms, the storms quickly dissolve.
Within your eyes, my doubts can transform.
You’ve become my greenhouse,
-my shelter, safe and warm.
I sow this final lesson,
in soil tended by your care —
that love, it grows patiently,
and it thrives and blooms because you're always there.
Mi cielo, mi amor.
From my heart to yours,
Your forever flor. 💖💐
Dec 4, 2025
Dec 4, 2025 at 3:39 PM UTC
(End to the melody)
I cut those red heart strings,
My love for you, it no longer sings.
I sometimes hope my silence stings.
It's a dying frequency,
Everything I held for you, that you failed to hear-
Just another lover that wasn't meant to be.
Love yourself, you were only just a mirror.
Teaching me to face my fear.
The way you let this all go,
How you kept crawling back into bed with my mind.
Acted as if you didn't know.
You were killing me by not letting me leave you behind.
Echoes of your sentiments,
My body slowly forgetting your fingerprints.
I blocked you from my life, as you only brought me pain.
With every shallow word dripping from your lips.
I struggle to see what you had to gain.
A taste of something beyond the empty shake of hips.
You chose this reality,
After you abandoned what could be.
Your messages go unread.
After you left me for dead.
The vigil has been desecrated,
No friendship or warmth to be found.
Maybe once we were fated,
But this melody is over, never again to make a sound.
All I hope is that you find your peace,
Accept love someday at the very least.
Stop pushing away all the good you find.
Don't keep leaving yourself behind.
I hope I taught you something, showed you light.
In the end, I am gonna be fine, don't worry I am alright.
Jul 24, 2025
Jul 24, 2025 at 8:20 PM UTC
I tell myself, I'm not a mother,
In this lifetime, this plane.
Maybe in another.
I just quietly hold this pain.
But in my soul,
I held you whole.
My sweet little one, it hurt more than I can say to let you go.
As you lived in me once before,
I hope to feel your soul once more.
I'll cradle you and tend your little wings.
My heart it aches, for the promises of someday always stings.
I bled you out against my will,
I dream of who you could have been,
Or could be still.
A part of me was lost with you then.
One day, I hope to hold your tiny hand in mine.
Some day, I hope to hear your wanting cry.
One day, I hope to see your sweet green eyes shine.
Some day, I hope I'll never have to say goodbye.
I want to feel your heartbeat beneath my touch.
I want to sing you lullabies and hold you tight.
I want to give you the world, it would never be too much.
I want to chase away the darkness, wash you in the light.
I tell myself, I am a mother,
In this lifetime, this plane.
No whispers of maybe in another.
In the here and now.
It erases that old pain.
Those little wings will find me-
I know it somehow.
I know it somehow.
May 9, 2025
May 9, 2025 at 1:18 PM UTC
Laying with heavy words- trying to regulate myself.
Sifting through the confusion of my heart and mind.
That soul bound undeniable bond I left sitting on my heart's shelf.
The tangible consistency of another that logic tries to remind.
But these words, they haunt me, and shake me awake.
They bring forth these tears and tell me all else is fake.
Me: "I know. I hate how much you still affect me."
You: "And that's because you're always gonna be mine no matter who is with you."
Me: "I'm yours... but are you mine?"
You: "Yes."
There it is finally written, brought to the light.
That red string of fate- we've always been tied.
The embers of my heart forced to ignite.
Every nerve in my body so suddenly fried.
Craving this unspoken love we always try and fail to deny.
You light me up like my phone in the middle of the night.
I know I shouldn’t take the bait, I know it’s not right.
I was never truly able to say goodbye.
Now I know, you didn’t feel nothing after all.
You held on too, it was real for you.
We are still soul-tied, mi amor, braced for the fall.
I’m still yours, somehow you always knew.
Even in the silence, the distance, and time’s passing.
Something between us feels everlasting.
I tried to close it off, let it go, say no.
But in my chest, tender and slight,
that fire I once mentioned is still burning bright.
They were no embers, they raged in my chest,
Chasing after tinder, to save the flame,
when you left me a drenched and dreary mess.
I know if we meet again, we’ll still feel exactly the same.
Hungry and destined to collide once more.
Say it will be the last time, your ghost will not haunt me like before.
Tell me, please, you won’t break me again.
I would forgive your every sin.
Just to be with you, skin to skin.
Hold your hand, make you smile within.
Watch me risk it all, everything I hold dear.
If you would only choose to let go of your fear.
Why can’t you just be here?
Just say that you’ll always be near.
As I said once before:
The world would have us star-crossed,
please, mi amor,
don't accept that our future is lost.
I still hold on to the dream, the one of you and me.
A steady candlelight vigil, a flame of hope, in my heart for only you to see.
Did it not feel meant to be?
Your words spelled it out to me... finally.
May 6, 2025
May 6, 2025 at 12:23 PM UTC
"I'm happy that you're doing better now."
You send to me in the middle of the night.
I thought I moved past you, got myself right.
I'm here asleep beside another man,
Where once you belonged.
But I felt all those feelings again, now joined by the anger at how I was wronged.
Now my heart is afraid and crudely wrapped in barbed wire. Your cowardice killed both my passion and fire.
Was I just something exotic for you to conquer? To taste?
A body to add to your collection, time to waste?
Why did you pursue me so adamantly just to turn away?
Why did you act like you cared just to leave one day?
You don't love me how I loved you.
I was just a pretty face to view.
You ignored all the parts of me that weren't any fun.
I was just a beautiful body to be done.
I listened to you and sought out your soul.
You just wanted only pieces of me, not the whole.
Why did I believe it when you said you wouldn't play with my heart?
Cause now you message me your bare minimum words and they tear me apart.
When I finally start to feel better, finding my groove. You dig in your claws, you make your move.
To see if I am still yours, but I'll never reveal.
I won't respond, I don't know if I will ever truly heal.
You don't give a **** about me-
You just want to ease your guilt.
You don't follow me online but yet still check to see.
If there's still a fire for you in the heart I rebuilt.
Is it to feed your ego? What for?
Testing the waters, looking for an open door?
Someone else is in your place,
But I can't forget you, I can't erase.
Every memory and the smile on your face.
All the words you said and the plans we made. The promises you spoke but you let fade.
I hate that I miss you every single day.
I still wake up before the sun rises.
For the good mornings you no longer say.
This unfinished melody always doomed to reprises.
My brain wants you to just go away.
Yet my heart it clings and idolizes.
I deserve better- what you said then was true.
If this is how you truly are then, better certainly isn't you.
A man who would awaken my love and then turn and run.
Is no man to me, he's just somebody's son.
A boy, not a man, worthy of my love.
Acting as if you can rise above.
You stole it from me and said I gave it for free.
Telling me to keep the memory.
Like it was something to treasure and something precious to hold. I gave you warmth, but you turned so cold.
I should destroy every trace of you, block your number too.
Some part of me doesn't want to let go.
Cause it would be the end and I'll finally know.
The truth of what I was to you, maybe I already knew?
You were all I ever wanted but I was nothing. Absolutely nothing to you...
Apr 1, 2025
Apr 1, 2025 at 4:07 AM UTC
I'm not sure why I always set myself up.
Handing over my love, like it's an overflowing cup.
I don't know how I still find a way to trust,
thinking this time will be better and giving in to lust.
I wish I was whole, not broken and just glued together.
I want to believe it when someone finally promises forever.
I don't want another lesson, another passing ship.
I wanted your love, that's only part of it.
I wanted quiet evenings in each other's arms,
I wanted lazy weekends- snoozing our alarms.
I wanted understanding and a knowing touch.
I wanted a lover who didn't think I was too much.
I wanted sleepless nights, messing up the sheets.
I wanted new adventures, strolling through the streets.
I wanted hands who could hold tightly on to my own,
I wanted a heart that was not afraid to be shown.
I wanted virtual voyages in our favorite games.
I wanted shared memes, that's us, and silly names.
I wanted more memories scorched into my heart.
I wanted a lifetime, not to be so suddenly torn apart.
I wanted the dreams and hopes we co-created.
I wanted to believe this meeting was fated.
I wanted to give you all of me- my heart, body, and soul.
I wanted reciprocity, no need to ask or pay a heavy toll.
But did you ever want the same?
You once told me you did.
Was this just a game?
Why did you open me up and throw away the lid?
I miss your hand in mine.
Your skin on my skin.
The way your dark coffee eyes shine.
Your voice, a melody, I was always sinking in.
You once asked me how to win my heart.
You held it in your hands, the moment I felt our first spark.
I can't say you made me weak, for you actually made me strong.
I was losing myself before we met, but I was saved by our song.
So suddenly, you were lost, I didn't know what to do.
In the end all I really wanted was you. </3
Feb 14, 2025
Feb 14, 2025 at 9:19 PM UTC
I wanna write about our first date,
Suddenly blinded by this twist of fate.
I never thought we’d be running on borrowed time.
I swear your lips felt as if they belonged against mine.
Your smile lit up my life, warm like a crackling fire,
Wordless passion made a feast of our mutual desire.
Yet, your hands, they spoke of safety and softness and peace.
Wrapped within your embrace, I found the sweetest release.
The world would have us star-crossed,
please, mi amor, don't accept that our future is lost.
I still hold on to the dream, the one of you and me.
A steady candlelight vigil, a flame of hope, in my heart for only you to see.
Though it aches and cries for our stolen melody.
I still hold on to our dream, the one of you and me.
Minutes feel like hours, days toil like years.
Every moment passing, I wish I could ease your fears.
I want to be your safe place, where you can finally breathe.
I want to be your comfort, not just someone you'll be forced to leave.
You taught me words and shared your ways,
I was counting down the days.
Piojito, a soothing caress.
Running my fingers lightly through your hair and down your back to chase away your stress.
The other part of me was found in you the moment we met.
I was yours without yet knowing, there’s no way I can forget.
Your voice drowned out the static, always putting me at ease.
Those dark eyes reflected promises and made me so eager to please.
Jan 26, 2025
Jan 26, 2025 at 8:30 PM UTC
If THEY cannot rebuild this country with love, empathy, and compassion—
If THEY only destroy communities, tear apart families, sow distrust, mislead, interrogate, gaslight, condemn, and grow fat off OUR fellow humans—
If WE cannot trust OUR representatives, those in power, OUR system of law, OUR doctors, OUR teachers, and the people who hold OUR lives and those of OUR loved ones in THEIR hands—
Then what kind of world do THEY seek to create?
THOSE MEN, draped in their wolfskin suits, armored in dollar bills, wearing false masks of humanity, do not deserve the power they wield.
If this is the system THEY choose to uphold, one that thrives on exploitation, suffering, and deceit, then let it crumble. Let it burn.
And from the ashes of this failed system and flawed government, WE will rise. WE will rebuild—not with greed or oppression, but with unity, justice, and the courage to do what is right.
This is OUR country, OUR problems, OUR responsibility to make it right.
WE will not bow. WE will not be broken. WE will not stand idly by as THEY feast on the labors and suffering of OUR people. The time for change is now, and it belongs to all of US.
Jan 24, 2025
Jan 24, 2025 at 1:01 AM UTC