And I look at you
The way you look at her
And I sit here
And I think too deeply
I think about what
We could be
And what it would be like
To hold your hand
And I think about
How your arms
Hang loosely around her hips
When you're tired
And I picture myself
Holding you tight
After a long night
After everything hit the fan
I want to know what
It's like to feel
Your lips against my forehead
And on my neck
But what hurts the most
Is I was so close
And pushed her into you
So you wouldn't fall
So you wouldn't fall into me
Because that would be
Like breaking a dam
During a flood
So I will watch you love her
And I will watch your light
Shine through her
And think just for a little while longer.
Aug 30, 2015
Aug 30, 2015 at 8:18 PM UTC
I just need you here
I just need your touch
And I know, I know, I know
You can never be with me
But you come anyways
And we just sit
No words will be spoken
Nothing but the same album playing
It’s the same album
From when we first met
When we first touched
When we first laughed
It’s the same song
From our first dance
Our first kiss
Our first time
I rest my head on your shoulder
You just sit there, rigid
I haven’t touched you since I left
But I’m so desperate for something
My heart twists
My wrists hurt
My lips tingle
The open wounds don’t close
Thoughts linger in the air
Words unspoken don’t make their way
Past our lips,
You touch my face
There is so much noise in my street
But I can only feel your breathing
Your heart is barley beating
It might have stopped
My face in your hands, I look up
You ask for a light
And I just shake my head
I have nothing left for you.
Jul 28, 2015
Jul 28, 2015 at 10:19 PM UTC
“Hey dad, what’s your favorite thing about each of us?”
Innocent questions were her specialty.
She was too curious.
He looked at her after a second,
To think.
“Well your mother is my soul mate.
She keeps me in check.
She’s hardworking.
I love her.”
She made a mocking ‘awh’
Clenched her heart.
He rolled his eyes.
He continued.
“Your older brother is strong.
He’s independent.
He knows how to handle adversity.
He knows how to work”
She saluted her father.
Mimicking her older brother.
General wanna-be.
Not quite there.
“Your older sister is a free spirit.
She is outgoing.
She is exciting.
She could do what she wanted with that head of hers.
She’s good at everything.
She can do anything.”
He smiled and shook his head.
They were one and the same.
The first daughter took after her dad.
Almost like looking in a mirror.
She smiled as she was waiting her turn.
Being the third child.
“Your little brother will be a leader.
He can overcome anything.
He can adapt to any climate.
He is fun and athletic.
He can do it.”
Her dad nodded his head.
Put down the dried dishes.
He began to walk away.
Her smile faded.
“Wait what about me?
What do you think about me?”
She tried to smile.
She straightened her posture.
He turned around.
“Oh yeah, uh.
Well.
You’re pretty.”
He turned and walked upstairs.
Finished.
Leaving her in the kitchen.
Alone.
Jul 28, 2015
Jul 28, 2015 at 10:16 PM UTC
What is this?
When did I
Get so emotional
But also detached
When did all this noise
Become so loud
That it changed into a
Deafening silence
My heart stopped beating
A long, long time ago
But I still live
And blood still courses through my veins
It’s the feeling of
Everything
It’s the feeling of
Nothing
It hurts
And it hurts so badly
But I am still unsure
On what exactly is giving me this pain
Have I lost my mind
Or did I find it a while ago
Maybe this sadness was birthed
From finally seeing reality
This darkness is so black
It becomes bright in the day
I thought I knew myself
I thought I was cold
But this is a new freeze
This is a new chill
This is a new black
This is a new low
Jul 28, 2015
Jul 28, 2015 at 12:23 AM UTC
I’m only writing this
Right now
Because its distracting me
From the knives that
Are staring me down
From across the kitchen.
Jul 17, 2015
Jul 17, 2015 at 12:38 AM UTC
I hurt
Because
You hurt
Is this not
What it
Feels like
To
Be
In
Love?
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 16, 2015 at 1:08 AM UTC
What are we doing?
We both have someone
But I can’t get the taste
Of you
Out of my mouth
You touch my waist
The fire in your eyes
Shoots desires through mine
I come around when
You least expect
How do you do this?
Every day
Late nights
Early mornings
You arrive
Stop calling
Stop falling
Stop wandering around
In my yard
Stop this need
I need to be alone
That’s a lie and you know it
Stop touching me
That’s a lie and you know it
Don’t leave again
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 16, 2015 at 1:07 AM UTC
The wind blowing
As I continued to swing
Over the cliff
Back to the surface
Over the cliff
Back to the surface
The sun did set
Shooting orange into my veins
The moon overhead
Illuminating my skin
Mars and Venus spun
The trees turning gray
And yet, I swung
Went over the cliff
Screaming at the abyss
And back again
Content
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 16, 2015 at 1:06 AM UTC
****
I hate the way you smile at girls
But I love your crooked smirk
I hate when you smoke inside
But I love the way the smoke curls
Out of your lips
I hate how you breathe so heavily at night
But I love how it brings me sleep
I hate how you hold my hand
But I love the way you rub your thumb
Over mine
I hate that I love you
But I love, loving you
Come on baby
Even though I hate you
I still love you
Go away.
But please don’t leave me alone.
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 14, 2015 at 11:59 PM UTC
You’re tired I know
I wish you were here
I miss you
I can’t sleep without you
You’re so perfect
You’re so wonderful
You are everything to me
But you’re too young
I forget it all the time
17 and 23
I daydream
About you
What it would be like
To hold your hand
To listen how your
Spanish tongue rolls
I have scrapes from
Crawling up your wall
I’ve thrown way
Too many rocks
But what if your dad saw
The way you look
When your eyes are rolling
In the back of your head?
I’m tired of sneaking around
I’m tired of hiding in your closet
I could call you baby
I want to stay
But you’re only 17
You’re too ******* young
And a six-year difference
Is a ten-year sentence
Only if you’re caught.
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 14, 2015 at 11:57 PM UTC