I spend far too much time
pondering
the saddest parts of life
harboring
the smallest of worries,
finding refuge in the fear.
I desire release
To another dream
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 7:08 PM UTC
Do you ever feel like everything around you isnt where you were supposed to end up?
Like the thing you are would have been different if you were stronger
Like if the music wasn't so loud it might be easier to think about what's right
Like the shouting makes a difference in what you should do
Like knowing how everyone around you feels
Selfishly and curiously and sadly
I know
Jan 24, 2015
Jan 24, 2015 at 1:34 AM UTC
You say a million dollars
Like the lottery
Baby you are worth more
than the highest of jackpots
your arms are warm and they welcome me in
and I breathe in the priceless scent of your skin
and I say my day wasn't worth my time
because your lips couldn't seem to find mine.
But the eighty six thousand four hundred moments
are worthless seconds
not worth a day without you
so yes,
when I heard you were coming
I lit up like the sky
on the fourth of July
like my independence
has finally rung
and your hand running down my rib cage
was the signing of a declaration
and your voice was a song
rejoicing the holiday kneading words of freedom into my spine
with your fingertips
feeding me love with each sway of our hips
and I'll never let go of the feeling of your lips
on the top of my head
as you wish me off to bed
good night and sweet dreams
and I'll write again
soon
but I wish
You could stay
and we could just watch the moon
for hours and days
and watch all of the phases
and bask in the wonder
of the shadowy surface
and the lack of utter
emptiness
because your company fills me
completely
and everything
makes sense
when youre with me
like a crossword done in pen
correctly
nothing can erase
the nothings
whispered to me
the things you've made me see
the changes you've caused in me.
I used to never believe in change
but now I'm seeing things
turn strange
I'm suddenly making new wishes
At eleven past eleven
and my happiness is the one I’m working towards
because my happiness is yours
and your smile sends an arrow through my heart
Cupid did his best to aim,
while no robin hood could understand
how much an arrow through the chest
can feel like a mess
but my heart’s is your hands
youll protect it,
I know.
No, robin hood could never understand
No undead, or no ghost
Could ever feel a love
So much that it hurts
And no sweater keeps me warm
Like the ones that you’ve worn
Like the palm of your hand
On a cold rainy night
Like the pulse through your veins through my lips on your neck
It all comes down to the hope you bring
To the way you make me see
Everything will be okay.
I know you hate those words
But they fly around us all like birds
above our heads flying south,
Longing for the long days and sunrays
And leaving behind our lonely minds
And that’s when we forget
Everything will be okay.
I love to tell you that
I love the way my mouth
doesn’t catch my tongue in a complicated trap
When I try to get my words out.
With you, its easy
It flows right through your malleus incus and stapes
To your nerve
In your system
But my words don’t make me nervous,
They make you home.
They make you the smell of brownies after a long day of tears
A smile greeting you when you walk down carpeted stairs
And the heat of an embrace that extracts all your fears
And the one who reminds you
Everything will be okay.
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 12:05 PM UTC
comfort
is a fortunate thing.
to feel safe
and supported
i am comfortable.
i am spoiled to the point
where i feel guilty.
i hear poems about white privilege
and i know
that i have it
but what can i do?
i have a family that cares
and friends that know what its like
to be torn apart
and im torn apart
because i feel guilty
for being comfortable.
i grew up in one of the richest counties in the country
im educated by young, innovative teachers
but there are children out there
that dont even have access to a roof.
i feel guilty.
i find myself wanting to make a difference.
Oct 2, 2014
Oct 2, 2014 at 3:24 PM UTC
you showed me
what it would be like if I ended my life.
you showed me
heartbreak, when i visited that church.
you showed me
the selfishness that is suicide.
so why
is the idea
still embedded in my brain
like a tattoo ill always regret?
Sep 15, 2014
Sep 15, 2014 at 1:07 PM UTC
I feel the weight of your love
Crashing over me
And the absence of your smile
In the heaviness of my heart
There's fifty thousand people surrounding me
Yet the emptiness of my entity
Won't stop ripping me apart
There's so many rooms
In this building
In this state
And there's so many places to go
But each place I walk into
Feels wrong
Uncertain
There's no place that I want to be.
Sep 10, 2014
Sep 10, 2014 at 12:02 PM UTC
Cities faintly floating
Just above the horizon
Fading slowly
A force
Dragging you backwards
Towards the lonely sea.
The sun peering around a cloudy sky,
Your shadow momentarily floating
Among opaque, white ocean spray
Flowing continuously,
Being devoured by the ravenous wake
Into the stomach of the darkness
Watching,
expecting a magnificent show
Of dancing dophins and whales.
For miles,
Only the ominous black
And deep, dark blue
Of ocean waves
Surrounding you
Until you're feeling nothing
but small.
Masked by
dancing,
bubbling,
curling,
White.
Churning through the waves,
The foam showering onto your lap.
Wiping the spray
From your knee,
Scintillating on your fingertips,
Finally noticing
The clarity of the dusky sea.
Aug 17, 2014
Aug 17, 2014 at 10:47 PM UTC
But what I didn't do
Was show her my scars,
Identical to hers
And what I didn't say
Was "look, you're not alone."
What I did do
Was smile,
And say
"Have a good one."
Hopefully, a smile was what she needed...
Aug 15, 2014
Aug 15, 2014 at 6:12 PM UTC
Growing up
Too often a regret
Too often synonymous
With morose days
And nostalgia at every corner.
I cannot sleep without my teddy bear
It makes me feel like a protector
It makes me feel protected
And loved
And not so alone.
I will grow up in due time.
For now
I feel a strength
A warmth.
Aug 12, 2014
Aug 12, 2014 at 12:39 AM UTC
I do not feel love for you
Long ago, I was consumed
by a diabolical
everlasting
flame
flaring out of control
I was defeated
like a house of sticks
blown away
by a wolf
Swept onto shore
like an abandoned
shell.
I do not feel love for you
I am love for you.
Your flames consume me
warm me
burning passionately
with everything I do
You rebuilt me
With our future
brick by brick
through the wind and rain
we built away
You collected my empty shell
You created something new
from my empty self.
Jun 24, 2014
Jun 24, 2014 at 7:53 PM UTC