I am from grease,
From Valvoline and mineral oil
I am from green grass surrounded by dead trees
(Heady, damp, somehow always smelling of jasmine and mint)
I am from lilies,
Tempered and beautiful in her rage
I am from perseverance and moxie
From Lyons and Rob
I’m from the never cries and please no secrets
From death is imminent and shrill screams of my name
I’m from losing my faith to an illness, it that stole more than an ***** from me
I’m from chocolate turtles and Smarties, from pixie stick dusk wafting up my nose
From the ghost of my mother in the kitchen cooking, to her ghost that envelopes my soul
The colors cut and healed beneath her skin that I caress carefully,
The ink faded on her wrist as she succumbs to lividity
My grandmother holding her picture as she weeps quietly,
Her voice dichotic in my ears as I watch videos on a screen
Those photos, her headstone, grounding me deeply into my grief, like a needle piercing cracked jewels into my mind
Jan 26, 2020
Jan 26, 2020 at 6:54 PM UTC
Dear Daddy,
Do you know what these men say to me?
With their
eyes and their mouths
when I walk on the street.
With a grin and a nod
and a look up and down.
A wink and a kiss
and a cat call heard from downtown.
With my skirt short
and my top
low,
It’s a cold world daddy
and no
doesn’t mean no.
Daddy do you know
how these men look at me?
Like I’m a piece of meat
strutting down the street?
With my head buds in
and my favorite song on.
I’m asking for it Daddy,
I’m in the wrong.
Do you know how it feels
not to wear what I like?
To walk a little faster
when I’m alone at night?
Daddy the world is my predator
and I am it's doe,
Daddy what happens
when I can’t say no?
Sep 23, 2017
Sep 23, 2017 at 5:05 AM UTC
mother dear i need you here
your soft embrace i need with haste
your kisses sweet they were a treat
your hands so warm my mind's a storm
these demons hurt it's so overt
heartbreak you make in your wake
i need a break god please it's late
mother dear why aren't you here
i age each day while you lay
six feet deep beneath my feet
you're skin and bones i'm dragged with stones
i miss you so why did you go
i'm drowning here please appear
mother dear i am depressed
my mind a mess but i digress
my greatest love my fallen dove
my mother dear who can't be here
your daughter weeps not counting sheep
oh mother dear take me from here
mother dear i know you're near
my dreams a base to see your face
warmth in my chest beneath my breast
mother's comfort at its best
i'll see you soon amongst the moon
a future lost and at what cost
a bond unbroken despite death
mother dear you know the rest
mother dear who can't be here
you loved me so why did you go
your visits slim wine to the brim
our future gone farewell at dawn
mother dear who lived in fear
demons dancing in her brain
mother dear we're both insane
her thoughts were ice filled with vice
sweet release my mother craved
pain free she was laid in her grave
my mother dear who's no longer here
i love you so i hope you know
reunion delayed i'm not afraid
one day we'll meet amongst the clouds
our voices shrill our screams so loud
you are at peace i will release
hurt in my heart that plagues my mind
don't worry mommy i'll be fine
Sep 19, 2017
Sep 19, 2017 at 8:10 AM UTC
my days are numbered
in hindsight we see that our ends are fated
but my clock looms in front of my face while yours dangles off in the distance
you do not see death up close as i do
you do not see the haze that surrounds our existence
you only see sunshine
an overcast day or two in the grand scope
but all i see is darkness
with light tickling at its edges
my days are numbered
as are yours
but my clock ticks and ticks and ticks
while you do not know it exists
oh how blissful that blindness must be
Sep 18, 2017
Sep 18, 2017 at 12:23 PM UTC