The demons got too loud
and then became too quiet.
It’s hard to fight an attacker from behind.
It’s hard to get rid of all the monsters that stay on my mind.
Jan 26, 2014
Jan 26, 2014 at 12:42 AM UTC
If I said I wish I had never met you
I would be lying.
Everything hurts and feeling your memories is the sharpest blade I’ve ever endured.
I wish you had stayed and I wish you had the capability to love me.
Maybe we’re all just broken machines who lack the parts that make them whole.
All I know is that for a little while, you made me feel whole.
Jan 26, 2014
Jan 26, 2014 at 12:41 AM UTC
We became the silhouettes of the dreams
we woke up in the middle of.
Jan 26, 2014
Jan 26, 2014 at 12:40 AM UTC
The memories of us live behind my eyelids.
I cannot sleep without dreams of you.
I cannot blink without visions of you.
Jan 26, 2014
Jan 26, 2014 at 12:39 AM UTC
And we're all just hiding underneath the wreckage of the last thing that broke our hearts
and we are all just trying to turn the trauma into a triumph
even when we know body bags and tombstones await us,
we fight for some unspoken promise a lover once told our hearts.
Dec 30, 2013
Dec 30, 2013 at 7:48 PM UTC
You and I form every constellation
when I look at the sky.
You are my north star and
I just want to come home.
Dec 1, 2013
Dec 1, 2013 at 3:59 PM UTC
I remember the way you got lost in my words
and the way you would muffle your tears
or fight them back.
I remember the call that day by the pool
and diving in after we had ended it.
Just a few weeks later you were calling again
and you were needing me again because you had never stopped.
Maybe I should be content with the second chance we got
but I never will be.
I will keep biting my lip every time I'm about to cry
and I will keep hating that night you walked away slowly and
we were forced to say our goodbyes.
I still remember how that air smelled and how in love with your laugh
I already was.
I'm sorry we're here now and I wish I didn't still love the way you flirt with me
because it's left me empty and nauseous,
reeling for everything we were meant to be.
Nov 6, 2013
Nov 6, 2013 at 2:55 PM UTC
I may never forget that white shirt
or those late nights we spent together
I know I can never erase the phone calls and the promises
I cannot delete the number 2330 from my brain
and I cannot act like I never loved you.
Even when you spoke of leaving I wanted you to stay
and I may of been foolish and blind
but I loved you more than anyone has loved someone
since the beginning of time.
I hope you're happy and I wish you were here
because then things
could have
would have
and should have
turned out differently for us.
Every night I want to call you and make sure you're still breathing
after all this.
I know you said you loved me that very last day
and I've found all the undertones in those messages I've saved
because you were the most beautiful person to me
and sometimes you still are.
So I'll still love you more than I hate the miles and I'll still worry about
how fast you drive
but I will love you differently, otherwise I won't survive.
Oct 19, 2013
Oct 19, 2013 at 11:24 AM UTC
You'll still drive to the ocean
and I'll still drive to the mountains
but the boundaries between us
won't fold up like origami anymore.
Whether we were wrong in leaving or not,
I still imagine what our kitchen would be like
and how it would feel to sleep with you holding me.
We've become broken promises that numb me.
I will not call for you in the middle of the night anymore,
for I know if I were to hear your voice or taste your words
I would be swallowed up by you once more.
And no matter how many times you become my ocean,
I won't let myself drown in your love when I know the moon will
steal you away as it pulls you back after crashing in to me.
Oct 1, 2013
Oct 1, 2013 at 9:05 PM UTC
You see me breaking and hold my face,
begging me to let my eyes shine like the Christmas lights
that border my room.
You try to fill back up my lungs despite the fact that they
can no longer hold air.
You breathe your warmth in and out of my mouth
to keep me alive.
I am reliant on you for my each and every breath
and without you my lungs would fall down inside of me like party streamers
after prom night.
Breathe your love into me forever because it is all I have.
Sep 18, 2013
Sep 18, 2013 at 8:20 PM UTC