i can't translate
the words from our pages
they were born out of swedish syllabics
formed by
the dialectic way
you formed your lips
around j's
so different from me
the shifting distance
in our pauses
silently inviting the other one
to pick up
the rytm
in our morning talks
melodies from your tongue
seconds before
you break into a smile
our memoirs
are coloured by the
raw cold winter
sprung from northern skies
and they just won't
render
into something else
despite my aching need
to write you out
Nov 16, 2020
Nov 16, 2020 at 4:00 PM UTC
you looked at me
and saw all the girls you ever loved and lost
distant gazes
broken words
timeless longings
always so
impossible close to
possible
and when i left
i left like all of them
when i looked at you
i saw all my almosts
dreamless promises
close calls
distant closeness
always
for someone else's sake
so when i left
i left for all of them
Nov 16, 2020
Nov 16, 2020 at 7:30 AM UTC
lying awake
trying to be ok
by my breath
alone
while being taught
my whole life
my worth
lies in my ability
to take others
breath
away.
Nov 16, 2020
Nov 16, 2020 at 7:26 AM UTC
i call you.
because i
cannot
stand
this
im not ok.
simply
breathing
takes too much
my emptiness
pour out
you answer.
say hi,
and ask me
how i am
and
i tell you.
fine.
Nov 16, 2020
Nov 16, 2020 at 7:24 AM UTC
alongside
stillness
grows
the storm
the closer you get
the further i reach
your presence
create spaces
where your shadows will
hollow
underneath
your dreams
im untold
[you pull me closer]
[are you leaving]
with the same intensity
felicity
sorrow
tenderness
rage
little by little
what if you stay
what if you leave
im equally afraid
of both
will there be anything left to feel
when we lay to rest
at last.
Nov 13, 2020
Nov 13, 2020 at 10:44 AM UTC
and they all applied to the consequences of your absence.
Nov 3, 2020
Nov 3, 2020 at 3:43 PM UTC
i've been raining dry
all you left behind
running through the
drains
beneath my feet
in my palms
i feel like
you stole
me
all my seasons
how i used to
burst with spring
summer rain
linger brightly
against the crispy snow
coloured by
the fall
but now
i'm nothing
but
endless
descent
how can anything
come of this
sometimes
i wished we never
would have set fire
like we did
i've been living in our ruins
ever since
Nov 3, 2020
Nov 3, 2020 at 3:30 PM UTC
it's been nothing
but
november
since mars
and everywhere i look
i see ashes
from our
outset
it's supposed to
spring life
to new seeds
these forest fires
i've heard
but it's been
so long
too long
and i still don't sleep
without you
where you've been
did you get the best of me
Nov 3, 2020
Nov 3, 2020 at 3:14 PM UTC
what will happen to
your newly bought home
all your dreams
half finished
will someone sell your
apartment
your furniture
what about your clothes
all the lonely socks
spread around your bed
your laundry
half washed dishes
all your accounts
all the things I wrote to you
unread
what happened
to you
all that was
you
when you died
Sep 6, 2019
Sep 6, 2019 at 5:41 PM UTC
get stuck on me
like you were at times
around your kitchen table
in the reflection of your eyes
i could be
everything
anything
in the corner of your bed
i hear the future
in your breath
you see
dreams
in the hair
behind my ear
but
you close your eyes
breathe out
my hair falls out
again
everything is passing
with you
ending.
Aug 16, 2019
Aug 16, 2019 at 4:35 PM UTC