I've been waiting for this feeling to flow out of my fingertips
onto the tattered page.
My pen mocks me while it scribbles Words.
Just words.
********
Stop
Back
Again
My poetry is faded.
My brain's mind won't tell my body what it wants.
Pills
Alcohol
Regrets.
The world is always questioning.
Everyone shouts to me:
Everyone feels the way you do!
******* talk about it!
You don't know what I mean
What I want
you have no idea
you can't diagnose me
You don't know what my words even mean
They're foreign to you
So i hold my tongue
Bite at my lips.
Taste the blood
Eyes down
Okay.
Tell me who I am.
I can take it for a minute
Then go away
Let me be what you made me.
Selfish
Entitled
Superior
I'll sit in my makeshift castle
the master of my death.
Aug 4, 2014
Aug 4, 2014 at 4:01 PM UTC
Your sweetness has dissolved. Now all I taste is bitterness.
May 15, 2014
May 15, 2014 at 12:04 AM UTC
I'm heavy, so heavy.
I want to sleep,
curl up and weep.
My fingers fight their tingle
My lips become luscious,
and my cheeks, soft.
I'm warm
you're beautiful.
Please, speak some more.
I need to tell you something.
I have so many stories.
I promise, I'm funny.
Your hair is so soft.
Yes, you can give me a massage.
Your hands fit perfectly against my back.
I feel so dizzy.
Will you hold my hand?
I need your support to stay upright.
The mirror is betraying me.
I'm red and messy.
Where's the bathroom?
Your bed would be more comfortable.
You can stay too.
Just lock the door behind you.
You can tell them I slept on the floor.
Apr 29, 2014
Apr 29, 2014 at 12:06 AM UTC
You have clipped my wings
and it's taking oh, so long
for them to grow back.
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 10:16 PM UTC
A thousand miles seems so far
when you desperately want
to be on the opposite end
of where you stand
but are not sure
if that's where
you are
meant
to go.
Mar 12, 2014
Mar 12, 2014 at 11:09 PM UTC
Give me your cigarette
to maybe **** me sooner.
Roll it back and forth
and put the
perfect suicide
into my perfect mouth
stealing my breath.
Fighting for my
perfect white teeth
it sits.
Biting at my
perfect pink lips
it rests.
Its black smoke lingers
in my perfect lungs
threatening to take me now.
Give me your cigarette
to feel something else.
Feel the ******
Feel the control
as I take each taste.
The same taste of
your lips,
your tongue.
The same, strange,
self-destructing love
you offered.
Oct 8, 2013
Oct 8, 2013 at 6:04 PM UTC
We are all me.
he makes up my emotion
she makes up my devotion.
I am pieces of
smashed glass
haphazardly placed,
half-ass
tried to make something
beautiful.
Each of us added to me.
Each of us makes up a certain piece.
Does it pay to be cynical
critical
invisible?
Trying to care makes me
the same
as her.
and them.
and me.
Trying to be me
makes me, them.
and unfortunately,
we are all me.
May 11, 2012
May 11, 2012 at 11:21 PM UTC
You're beautiful.
Adrift on your own thoughts
you're phenomenal.
You dance as if you can fly,
using the wings on your soul
barely stopping to breathe.
You dream more than you sleep,
knowing what you can and will do;
Never stopped by life's shackles.
You're my confidant-
My strength when I struggle to live.
Your mind is remarkable.
But please,
you need to eat.
May 7, 2012
May 7, 2012 at 9:18 PM UTC
It’s like getting my fix.
It’s my life drug,
the drug I choose.
He is my addiction.
I wait for the high.
His body, his lips, his touch
is the substance I can
never resist.
I feel good with him.
Better than I could
ever hope. Ever
dream.
His fingers against
my skin, like fire. His
lips on mine, on
every inch, is a
euphoria
like none other. But
with every high comes
a low- a crash. When
I’m without him,
God, when he leaves
my stomach drops, my
head aches, my heart
finds itself in ruins.
When I can’t get my fix
I feel like I could cry, die,
sleep for a hundred years.
I wait for my next
opportunity, my next
moment to
indulge in him.
Risk for him.
Because everyone knows
I’m not allowed to have him,
Not supposed to long for him
Indulge in him,
lust for him.
They tell me it’s not right,
harmful for my mind and
emotions. I don’t care.
I tell no one, sneak and
lie for him,
for me.
I am a thief, stealing
what doesn’t belong to me,
taking what isn’t mine,
borrowing what I did not
ask for,
only to get my fix.
May 7, 2012
May 7, 2012 at 7:38 PM UTC