do me a favor
are you having trouble
finding the door?
tell me are you lost
was the exit not
worth finding anymore?
you've been sitting in my head
for what seems like an hour or two
was it at least comfortable?
I think the space in my mind
is big enough for you
were you walking in circles?
are there blisters on your feet?
honey, you've been running on my mind
for the thirty second time
on repeat
it's not that I don't want you here
you're always free to wander in my dreams
just know it hurts a different kind of way
when you think about someone you can't keep
and as much as I want to kick you out
this run down mind of mine
rid me of infatuation
let heartache be a sign
but why do I remain stubborn
still I let you stay
promising myself to
free this heart from you the next day
empty promises soon fade
maybe tomorrows turn into maybe nots
I let you make yourself at home
within this foolish heart you caught
by now you might be wondering
what am I to do?
the simple answer is nothing
but then again I haven't got a clue
who knows? maybe indifference isn't the ideal
what's a girl gotta do to make her wishes real?
Paying it no mind won't make it hurt any less
but don't worry
looking at you from afar is what I do best
Apr 14, 2021
Apr 14, 2021 at 9:20 AM UTC
with every blow
and every scratch
i cement myself
hoping the next
wont hurt as much
with every layer of stone
the sting fades away
but the walls of concrete
made me feel empty
that day
Jul 11, 2019
Jul 11, 2019 at 6:46 AM UTC
its the eyes
its the face
its your smile
i cant erase
its your voice
its your touch
i never thought
it would hurt
this much
i got what i wanted
didn’t i?
this is what i wanted
right?
right?
there’s those eyes
they’re there again
there’s that face
i count to ten
1
2
3
it’s haunting me
4
5
6
i’m not over it
7
8
9
****
you were mine
and 10
and then?
it’s you
it’s still you
it’ll always be
you
Jul 11, 2019
Jul 11, 2019 at 6:45 AM UTC
missing you had been
like breathing to me
recently
thoughts of you
swarming my head
like flies to a moldy sandwich
my heart aches
when i remember your smile
my smile
we were so happy
my heart breaks
for the hundredth time
when i recall the way
you used to sing to me when
we had nothing better to do
i cheer you on
as you close your eyes
and belt out the melody
you weren’t the best singer
but the way i felt that night
tells me otherwise
my heart sinks and i
blink back the tears as
i hug the pillow close to my heart
i wished it was you,
but of course, i knew
that won’t happen
i close my eyes and
i try and
try and
try
to silence my regrets,
forget every moment
i spent loving you
losing you
but i don’t
i cling to the memories
even though they were
hurting me
i hold on
even though it was wrong
because it was the only
thing i had left of you
i hold on to you
even though i knew
you wouldn’t want me to
but that’s okay
this is okay
i’ll be okay
Jul 11, 2019
Jul 11, 2019 at 6:41 AM UTC
my heart has arms outstretched
to something they cannot reach
my heart shouts in a language
i do not speak
it tosses and turns all day and night
it seems like it can’t keep still
it aches
it breaks
it made mistakes
its pain won’t stop until
you say my name
like you used to
look at me
like you used to
love me like
we didn’t break
each other yet
love me like
none of this ever
happened yet
love me like
we knew what we were
doing this time
love me so I won’t need
some ******* rhymes
to give my heart some peace
a release
please.
Jul 11, 2019
Jul 11, 2019 at 6:35 AM UTC
we were at McDonald's
and you only ordered fries
there weren't any stars
that night
you held my hand
like you always did
after a meal
your fingers were as cold
as the midnight breeze
weird
you were always warm
whenever we touched
no matter how cold it was
it was strange
your skin somehow felt foreign
it was as if we were
doing this for the first time
you were staring at me
I didn't notice
I was on my phone
your eyes felt different
looked different
I used to describe them as
deep
captivating
oceans
I could drown in
forever
but now they're just
blue
dull
eyes
weird
you were smiling at me
I didn't notice
your smile felt different
I used to describe it as
breathtaking
beautiful
but now it's just
red lips and teeth
you were talking to me
I didn't notice
you were saying something
about a movie?
I wasn't listening
I used to love your stories
your voice used to breakthrough
my ears
straight to my heart
I used to describe it as
smooth
calming
soothing
but now it's just
noise
weird
you asked me what was wrong?
I didn't notice
I told you I was fine
we were at McDonalds
and you only ordered fries
there weren't any stars that night
you held my hand
and I held yours
god
help me tell her
I don't love her anymore
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 5:01 PM UTC
I put these thoughts
inside my head
I grip my wrists
'till they turn red
I grit my teeth
I bite my tongue
don't say a word
to anyone
my heart constricts
I close my eyes
I count to when
these feelings die
the darkness
does not
prolong their
stay
I get to
live another
day
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 4:54 PM UTC
it's a long long wait
for something uncertain
we will spend months eager
years, hurting
but oh, when the time comes
we shall hold each other tight
take deep breaths and close our eyes
I smile a wide smile inside my head
a few years is nothing compared to the eternity ahead
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 4:45 PM UTC
this heart of mine
will not keep still
this fast pace rhythm
won't stop until
my lungs continue to
gasp for breath
until this soul wanders
to the arms of death
my love for you
shall never die
it shall go on
as I am alive
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 4:44 PM UTC
She said that night
tell me something about love
I stood still
my mind racing
it was as if my head
came to an abrupt halt
but my heart almost immediately
came up with words
I don't think existed yet
I wanted to tell her
love is looking into her eyes
and melting on the spot
but somehow I couldn't
so I looked her into her eyes
and smiled
I wanted to tell her
love is caring
but somehow I couldn't
so I grabbed her a glass of water
she smiled
I wanted to tell her
love is two hearts
dancing to the same rhythm
but somehow I couldn't
so I asked her what movie
she'd like us to watch later
still smiling
she had a confused expression
the notebook
she wanted to watch the notebook
I wanted to tell her
love is patient
and that I couldn't stand that movie
but somehow I couldn't
so I kissed her on the cheek
and said ok
I wanted to tell her
love is admiration
but I couldn't
so I stared at her
and told her she was beautiful
all throughout the movie
even though you were teasing me
that I was missing half of the storyline
I wanted to tell her
love is warm
but somehow I couldn't
so I wrapped her in my arms
even though we were already
warm under the covers
I wanted to tell her
love is happiness
but I couldn't
so we laughed all night
exchanging jokes no one
else would understand
I wanted to tell her
love is so many things
but somehow I couldn't
so I loved her
and hoped she would understand
Jun 14, 2018
Jun 14, 2018 at 12:22 AM UTC