I wonder if he thinks about me the way I think about him
I wonder if it was hard for him to leave me like it was hard for me to let him go
Does he stop what he's doing when our song starts playing or does he simply skips it onto the next?
Does he lie awake at 2am wondering what could have been?
How long did take for him to switch my nickname in his contacts to my first and last name?
How long did it take for him to tell his friends?
I ask all these questions but never get any answers.
I get a phone call.
It's two in the morning. His nickname pops up and our song is playing as the ringtone. My friends don't know.
& I'm constantly thinking about him.
I pick up.
He's drunk.
And I hear another girl's voice in the background.
Aug 19, 2016
Aug 19, 2016 at 10:32 PM UTC
*your side of the bed lies unmade
wallet and keys lie scrambled on the coffee table
your ***** clothes lie scattered on the floor
your anxiety medicine bottle lies on your side stand
your scent graces the air while on the table lies an ashtray over powering it
dishes needing to clean lie in the kitchen sink
empty whiskey bottles lie on the kitchen counter
but one thing lies missing,*
you.
Sep 5, 2015
Sep 5, 2015 at 8:30 PM UTC
He's changed. You've changed. Everything is changing.
Your first love isn't always the last one
But it will leave you with a numbing pain inside you
You'll cover the pain with someone else
To the point you don't even realize it's even there
But you'll remember the night you cried your eyes out in the shower as the hot water pelted against your skin and when you got in your room, all you wanted to do was scratch the paint off your walls because they held the memories of every kiss, touch, and conversation between you and him
But it will change
Because that's what happened in the first place
You changed. He changed. It's different, and it will still be different ten years from now but the pain won't be.
Apr 5, 2015
Apr 5, 2015 at 10:08 PM UTC
I have nervous break downs at just the mere thought of you
oh how I ponder why that can be
You're complex, all the way down to your mix matched socks
The smell of you is like no other
it's not comfortable nor is it worthy to be romanticized
You smell like cigarettes and ******* hair dye
Your brown eyes are better than love-sappy blue eyes
which makes me want to write how a caramel set of eyes are better than clear oceans because it would be for all of the wrong reasons
Your letter doesn't do any justification to the anger in me
I can't romanticize you because suicide isn't love
it's not a trend
it's a deadly thing
but I ponder
if it's a deadly thing
why do I find myself still writing about you?
Poems are just as romanticize as suicide is but yet here's a thing about both
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 10:03 PM UTC
I'm shameless because I expose every little experience I have on a piece of paper
I have dreams of maybe one day being alright
and not having to settle with just being 'fine'.
My hand aches just as much as my heart does; working too much, or too fast
The qualities I have are like no other
because I'm indeed a writer
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 4:26 PM UTC
I swear he cares about me
or at least for me
in the most little sense possible
but it's good enough
I swear his golden heart loves me
or at least hopefully
He keeps a lot of names in that heart of his
Maybe my name has a tiny space in it
but it's good enough
I swear the lyrics he writes are about me
or at least I'm the background girl
who tries and fails to be the main chorus
but it's good enough for me
I swear I'm in love with him
but he doesn't show his feelings like he used to
It's good enough for me
because I know what it was like to be the good in his life
but now, there's another girl in my shoes
and it's good enough for me
because at least he's happy
Dec 16, 2014
Dec 16, 2014 at 7:07 PM UTC
3 rare things that are at your doorsteps
Love; People love you. Even if it may not seem like it. But you my friend, need to love yourself before you love anyone else. Fall in love with living and you'll have the key to everything
Happiness; Enjoy the little things.
Enjoy watching the sun rise with your cup of coffee
Enjoy the cool crisp sheets of your bed after a long day
Enjoy a stranger's smile
Enjoy handwritten smiles
Enjoy yourself
Beauty; Life is beauty. Beauty is life.
Don't focus on the big picture, notice the things inside of you
Notice the butterflies in your stomach, don't ignore them
Notice your unwanted dimple and the dark freckles in your eyes
Notice your warm smile and know that someone enjoys it, and looks forward to seeing it
You are unique
You have beauty
You are beauty
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 7:35 PM UTC
Clattering of paws on the hardwood floors
I'll never forget the sound
Your big brown adorable eyes
I'll never forget the beauty
Your sloppy wet kisses all over my cheek
I'll never forget the love
Before I knew my ABC's you were there for me
& tonight we were by your side
just like you were for us for all this time
as you ran towards the light
I knew it was right
You'll forever be
my dearest greatest friend
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 8:47 PM UTC
There's an angel in your dreams
but it's not me
There's a girl who's wearing your shirt off her back
and has the pleasure to wake up next to you
She will make you coffee
the way you hate it
and will end up taking your cologne
You'll write songs about her
hating yourself at night
thinking why and how
did you end up this way
The one song you treasure the most about this mess
is the one that is filled with lies
and doesn't resemble her at all
Because it's me who you've been writing about all along
And you'll text me late at night
when you're feeling lonely
Know that I won't respond
because this is my song
telling you that I'm saying goodbye
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 11:57 PM UTC
Fall in love with living
before you give anyone your all
There will be days where your hair won't be the way you want it
and that's okay
You're going to have nights where you will scream into your pillow
sobbing why me, why me,
and that's okay
Perhaps you will come home, and realize you're in love with someone
with the same gender as you
and that's okay
You're going to make mistakes and make bad decisions
and you'll learn from them, and that's okay
There will be nights where studying will take a toll on you
and that's okay
You're going to make it
You're going to do just fine in this world
You're going to be okay
Dec 6, 2014
Dec 6, 2014 at 8:05 PM UTC