I only use permanent pain as a replacement of the temporary one
Because I know myself.
How I love to see the good in everyone
And I know how easily I forgive and forget
How easy it is to be swayed by your lies and goodbyes
And how I always seem to become a bet
How easily you can play with my heart rather then my hair
How much you're always right and your judgment becomes my air
The air I breathe and need so badly or I heave
At least the permanent pain will be a reminder to do everything to leave
Even when you paint a beautiful brand new start..
To not fall to the old, cruel, lonely habits of my heart.
Feb 7, 2019
Feb 7, 2019 at 3:12 AM UTC
There's days I miss you more than life itself .. but then I remember how you treated me and how quickly you were ready to leave me for a taste of something new.. and those days I feel sick to my stomach wondering why I was never good enough for you.
Feb 7, 2019
Feb 7, 2019 at 3:06 AM UTC
I just feel like falling.. at this point I don't mind that there's no one to catch me.
Feb 7, 2019
Feb 7, 2019 at 3:02 AM UTC
I lost such a huge part of me in the ones that promised it’d be safe..
But all this time I realized that was the problem..
I was hiding a part of me in them when I shouldn’t have been hiding at all.
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 7:32 PM UTC
And I wonder why you’re not with me
You say you’re looking for somebody who will love you right
Never leave your side
Keep you warm at night
Boy I got you
You won’t ever have to cry
Except all this time
You’re probably looking for somebody new
Somebody who
Won’t treat you right
Who’ll keep you up at night
Who’ll hurt you
Just to watch you cry.
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 6:34 AM UTC
I wrote your name on the walls of my heart, hoping one day you'll find a way in again to see how cold it's been here, how lonely and dark.
I scream your name off the rooftops at 3am hoping you'll come back to me
Hoping this was all a nightmare and a mishap from reality.
I dream of you and wake up crying, i want the old you back. Where can I find him laying?
Waiting for me in a grass field with a picnic blanket and lunch laid out, wiping the tears from my cheeks and telling me hush now
It wasn't real darling, you're all mine and forever you'll stay,
Lay with me and let's stare at each other. For the rest of our Infiniti
I want you and your mind, that's such a beautiful maze.
There's nothing to be afraid of love, now just lay in my arms and know forever here you'll lay.
Jan 21, 2017
Jan 21, 2017 at 11:57 PM UTC
I saw forever in your eyes. . .
Then you closed them.
Apr 17, 2016
Apr 17, 2016 at 6:58 PM UTC
I wonder if with time your heart can deteriorate?
If every time you cry yourself to sleep, a part of it breaks.
If when we lay at night staring at the ceiling wondering how it is we got in this horrible place,
If a piece of it simply falls off and evaporates?
If it falls into the crevices of our bones so soon we are no longer left with a heart
But with the left overs of what used to be one.
So we can no longer feel love but we have the particles of what it once consisted of,
Deep within us, never able to be felt or shown again.
Apr 17, 2016
Apr 17, 2016 at 6:56 PM UTC
My worst fear is that I will never be satisfied.
Nothing I do will ever be good enough, and not to the minds of everyone else, but that of my own.
I am scared I will never be happy with who I'm with because I'm not happy with myself.
When I'm alone, I'm at my best.
Unaffected by the world and secluded in my sanctuary of a room.
But should someone be alone for the rest of their life?
Is it healthy, will it drive me to insanity?
Always chasing something that I may never get.
Like I am, for the rest of my days, always chasing the rim of the sunset.
Maybe I should stay alone..
Maybe, just maybe..
I need to be solely on my own.
Apr 17, 2016
Apr 17, 2016 at 1:19 PM UTC
I've thought about ending it a few times.
Frankly that's all that's been on my mind.
Don't leave me alone with my thoughts.
I'm reckless and I might just give in and seal my own box.
Apr 17, 2016
Apr 17, 2016 at 1:02 PM UTC