Looking into the mirror, I do not recognize the girl before me
But I do see a girl seeking to find herself and for that, I'm hopeful
-o.d.
May 18, 2021
May 18, 2021 at 7:13 PM UTC
I'm sorry that I doubted you, I'm sorry that I was wrong.
I'm sorry that I left you when you needed someone strong
RIP Joshua W.
Mar 10, 2019
Mar 10, 2019 at 11:58 PM UTC
Becoming a teenager was the hardest thing I’ve accomplished.
I stopped playing with Barbie dolls, instead I tried to become one.
Thousands spent on makeup, hair, nails, and clothes.
And for what?
Because I actually believed society’s opinion of me mattered.
13 years old, waking up an hour earlier than I used to, to apply layers of makeup and hairspray on top of the person I wanted to be.
I loved the person I was until the age of 13.
There are bullies wherever you go.
There are going to be people that don’t like you, no matter what.
I wish I would’ve known that running away wasn’t the answer.
I thought being pulled out of public school would be better for me and everyone else but boy was I wrong.
Being alone all the time never made me lonely.
I was stuck inside my own head stuck with the bullies I’ve created, clones of the people I’ve come across from before.
The people who hurt me and degraded me.
Depression, anxiety, PTSD, Bipolar, Insomnia.
At the age of 14, I thought a noose would suit my neck better than any kind of necklace.
Pills upon pills turned into pain
Pain turned into shutting everyone out.
Being a teenager was the hardest thing I’ve ever accomplished.
Mar 10, 2019
Mar 10, 2019 at 11:51 PM UTC
I thought a lot today, that doesn't happen often.
I thought about how I lost a big sister
I thought about how I am the only to laugh at my jokes
I thought about the days when I used to fit into a size six
I'm not one to often feel sorry for myself but when I think, I put myself into a bad mood.
I travel back to the days when I used to live with my father. He was once good, you know, but drugs can take a lot from a man
I went back to the day I broke my arm when I fell out of an apple tree and lied because I didn't want to get my grandma in trouble for not watching me
I went back to the day when they buried my best friend because of the sickness that invaded his body
I thought back to Thursday when I didn't hear my name called for the second round
I think back to all of the bad memories because that's all I can remember. Sad, right?
I told myself I'd write a happy poem but how can you write a poem without putting all of your emotions and thoughts into it? And the only thing I'm feeling and thinking right now is sadness
I'll just add "write a happy poem" to my bucket list, because I know that I'm not going to be able to write one soon
maybe this is why i don't think a lot.
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 12:18 AM UTC
Focus on the number on the scale
You're not perfect without it
Look at the food you inhale
Don't you think it's unfit?
Focus on your goal
Because you'll never be perfect
You'll end up selling your soul
To the Devil because you need it
Your mind, body, and spirit
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 11:32 PM UTC
No one sees the pain she hides
The black and blue, she tries to disguise
Memories are few of happier days
For this little girl once named Kaye
Her fathers pride, her mothers pearl
Become distant memories for this little girl
A skinny bag of merely bones
A life of hell become her home
Her dad a drunk, her mother enraged
She's released the animal once caged
She's stabs her once, but hits her plenty
The tears are few, but the bruises are many
She uses food as a tool
But this little girl is no one's fool
She begs and steals for a crust of bread
The once love for her is now dead
One day or even up to four
The food game she uses on her
This little girl once named Kaye
Finds her will and will not cave
The nurse, her teachers were the ones who cared
To find her an out that no one before had dared
The police involved, her life now changed
A beaten and battered child no longer enslaved
Mar 8, 2015
Mar 8, 2015 at 6:30 PM UTC
The trees whispered a secret message
The branches held her up for so long
The bullies left her there
They didn't know what could go wrong
The police found her
Hanging from the branch
One little cruel joke
Brought them to their knees and hands
They pleaded to God for his forgiveness
Please, God! Oh please
Forgive us for we have sinned
The gentle breeze
Whispering through the trees
They buried the girl
Families never brought to justice
Looking down at the girl
Ten and buried
Finally set free
Now being carried
For what is to be.
o.d
Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015 at 10:57 PM UTC
It's alright
I'm okay
I tell you this
Every single day
You believe my lies
Because you don't care
You think it's fine
You don't see my arms
The rugged ****** lines
I'll hang my noose
And hold on tight
So there's no chance of it being loose
For this is my last night
Here's my goodbye
I left you a letter
I lied to your blue eyes
There's no chance of getting better
Goodbye
My friend
Please don't cry
Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015 at 10:09 PM UTC
I saw the way you watched her
She's you're everything and I'm just a blur
So once I go away
You don't have to say
You're sorry
Because I know
You'll let your heart grow
For this girl
Who stole you away
From me
Each and every day
Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015 at 10:03 PM UTC
The mothers don't care
The brothers don't share
The sisters push you
The dad overlooks you
They don't love
But they don't hate
They only leave room to discriminate
For you feel all alone
But there is no need to groan
It might not be alright
But you can win this fight
Dear, you are special
In your own way
This is why I am here to say
It will be okay.
Not everyone knows about your scars
Or the pills to make you see the stars
But I've been there
I have won that fight
I walk around with a smile on my face
To show I was there that night
I know your secrets
I know your lies
So you can no longer say goodbye
I'll be there to help you
At the end of the day
Maybe then you'll realize
It will be okay.
Mar 1, 2015
Mar 1, 2015 at 4:43 PM UTC