The End
And as the days go by you rub away at me and peel back the pages of my skin
Soon I shall be raw sore and broken
As you undo me so you have undone me once again
And I am me and you are you and we are nothing
I am broken and your hands are too small to gather me up so I fall through the cracks each day a little more
Then what's left is the black side the dark spiteful Sharpe bits like leftovers of a roast chicken
Photos of us are in the shadows overcast by clouds our hands held strong covered by darkness sat with the what ifs and the could've done
So I wait and you wait for the sun to shift and show us the light again
But the clouds don't move and we never again feel the same
So we are gone fallen to the low ground the ground beneath the grounds where people rarely go as they never make it back again
Claw away at the mud cracked on our bodies trying to get to the light
Every day the we that we were is further away
After a time we close our eyes and forget what was till there is nothing left of us
Just two people that used to be in love
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:43 AM UTC
The Brackens
Do you remember the Brackens
We went there when we were young
That was our secret place
Me and you had so much fun
That's where the woods are winding
Tall tall trees
The earth went on forever
At least that's how it seemed
I could smell the earth around me
Hear the owls within the trees
Tiny animals scurrying around beneath the fallen leaves
Do you remember the Brackens
Sky so clear it gleamed
Running together through the woods
You used to make me scream
On our backs counting stars
I was so full of hope
Playing beneath the moonlit sky
The moonbeams did elope
Do you remember the Brackens
I do every day
My face pushed down into the mud
The mice and deer decay
The thorns that cut into my back
My sore and bloodied knees
The rotting leaves within my mouth
Under the dying tree
The horrible way you took
The way you made it hurt
Ripping through my insides
Cutting through my thoughts
I remember the Brackens
I think of those woods each day
I'm still trying to build a life
To keep the mind at bay
I remember that you loved me once
There on top the hill
I remember that you ***** me once
And your friends did too
Do you remember the Brackens
I really hope you do
The way you gave me to your friends
To do with me their will
Them shouting and cheering in my face
Pouring ***** down my throat
Pulling at my underwear
After ripping off my clothes
I felt their hands all over me
Shoving in my hair
As they pulled my head back
And had their way right there
The insides of me did curl up
I closed my eyes real tight
As they entered my inner parts
And bashed away all night
Now I have your attention
Your eyes are right on me
I'm going to make you see
You didn't completely shatter me
Just winded me a while
As you can see I got back up
Hunted you down have I
Although it haunts me everyday
I'm better than I was
I got up out of bed
To **** all of you off
I was not your puppet
Never yours alone
What you did to me was evil
So your never make it home
Please don't look at me like that
I'm not the first to lie
I can see your doing what your friends did
I see your gonna cry
Now be a good boy
Open up your mouth
This is how dead leaves taste
As I blow you through the mouth
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:43 AM UTC
That Kiss
I fell backwards
Seeing all in slow motion
You standing, you kissing her
So our love has run its course
This fact sinks in with a whisper
As you trail back to me
Not knowing I've seen
Your stuff is waiting on the
pavement when you get back
All neatly folded
I thought that was the end of
that
No awkward lies, no need for
parting words
Just the end.
I'll wipe you out of my memory
while I stare at the ceiling, as
midnight consumes
Glowing stars pointing me back
to the reality of the unfeeling
I never feel much anymore
I'm not human you would say
Truth is
Its easier this way
The iridescent sky leaks gold
And Angels slumber in an
eternal life of bliss
As everyday gets more difficult
with it
I plan things in my head
Amazing how much time you
took up
I twiddle my fingers, agitated
and restless
Life beckons within, then a
possibility of happiness
Surely I should take this
It was but one kiss, I know this
Shadows loom with it
This tiny slight of happiness
As the nights get darker
I remember how moonlight
would flicker
as a candle on your face
Little snippets start to rise
through the mud
Dirt that I burried on top of you
I thought that was the end
But little things keep getting
through
You hunted for the Santa Claus
film a week before Christmas
I didn't feel festive and fell
asleep through it
Waking up to Christmas
pudding and eggnog,
that warm cuddly festive feeling
came back to me
It resides somewhere still in me
In Paris we sprinted from a five
star restaurant bill
Wearing silk, breaking my heels
This night you captured my
heart
as we ran through Paris
barefoot in the rain
The hotel room in Venice had
rats in the cupboard
We didn't want to leave the bed
So we made picture's on the
ceiling with lamp light
Falling asleep to softly slapping
water,
that night I Knew it would only
ever be you
It's still you
You skinned a cable for the
copper,made me a bracelet
The arthritis in my wrist was
driving me crazy
You drew me a Christmas card
every year, even when you
turned thirty
You were useless at making me
coffee
We were so care free ,
look at what's happened to me
These little things keep
wounding me, but also make
me happy
If I could take back that kiss
It still would've ended as this
You needed more than I could
give
In my world it wasn't important
That you
Knew how I loved you
How I needed you
That every morning I thanked
God for you
You never knew
As I never told you
And now it's too late to
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:42 AM UTC
Promises
I made a promise once
If you can win a promise
I won
This promise broke my heart
Shattered it
It's in my body in shards
Floating around
I move slightly
It pierces my organs
Unforgivingly
This promise will be the death of me
And I can't wait
I'm looking forward to it
This promise was our love breaking
My knowing
We wouldn't make it
I won this promise
And I'm loving the pain of it.
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:42 AM UTC
Your Perfection
You moulded me to your perfection then bounced me around the room
to show ownership of me to your friends
So I purred and smiled and batted my eyes
Acted asthough I enjoyed it
I loved all of them the way you taught me
So you were pleased for a while
For a while I was safe
You bent me out of shape and pushed me as far as I could take
So I tried to smile and bat my eyes but I couldn't help but cry
It made you happy for a while
These chains swing and hurt my wrists as they break and cut my veins
I'm lying here alone unclaimed
I wish to feel the hurt again
I want the tears upon my face
The cold gleam in your eye
I need you to be happy for a while
The darkness stinks, I'm in disgrace all used up a broken face
Bones are broken beneath the skin
I love your smile you've such a grin
Now at least your happy again
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:41 AM UTC
Your Demise
Tears as loose as the ribbon fluttering from your hair to the floor
Stepping back I wonder if this agony is justice
That a last breath
So you hold your head up high
As fate has sacrificed the utter astonishment from your eyes
There is but a wish
To close those eyes for good
I know this on the wind
Would help you if I could
Smile at your demise
Ill hold you in the palm of my hand
as if a sugar rose
Letting the sweetness perspire
Into my flesh
Ill hold you as this
As the sobs retch through your chest
Ill smile rather than laugh
As laughing takes more effort
More muscles contract
So we act
As if playing a game
The winner shall rise upon a white cloud steadfast and gallant
Towards the prize
Him
I will smile at you loosing this
Round
As he walks me home instead of you
Truth is I don't really want him
I taking him because I can
I'm seducing him as I never liked you much
I never said I was a good person
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:40 AM UTC
Would I
So I trickled out if your life
As water through a spring
Smoothing over the points and rocks alone
An adventure
I didn't give you another thought
You were irrelevant to me
I told myself this religiously
Just someone I used to know
Until now that is
Now I've done everything I wanted
Traveled the world
Now your everything I need
Standing in front of me
Funny how life turns the tables so easily
Do you remember how it used to be with us
Yes, we used to be In love
Is that what you call it
I remember it differently than that
I remember never knowing
So I ask a question that's lingered forever
Would I of been your wife if I'd stayed
Yes
this is
all you need to say
The bitter weathers beating at your cheeks
The air now almost too cold to breath
Leaves crisp underfoot
This revelation will destroy me yet
I'm just passing through I say
Trying to hide the injustice
Of watching you play with your wedding ring
I'm just passing through
This Certain clarity
I see Is Soul destroying
My island Carved out of the consequences of my decisions
Starts shacking
I feel it swaying, I see it starts sinking
I was safe here until this evening
The birds start flying
The fish swim deep
Nature scarpers
emotions erupting
My island was tropical once
Now it's an iceberg
The revelation of this truth
Ignites our old youth
My lake starts rippling, from indecisions
Confusion Settling in
As you did love me in the end
I remember the enormity of the hoping
Not knowing Was soul splitting
It was easier to leave you than not knowing
So I went traveling
Stumbling until i got used to the terrain
We were children
One tiny decision changed everything
I started mapping out my future
Carving you out of the paper island
We were so young
Brought up on summer sun
Dry grass under foot
The way it always got
Warm nights you no longer get
the world was a different place then
than it is
All that was certain
your not loving me
Your not caring
Scared of saying
The simplest sentance
Has brought us to this moment
All i was sure of Now means nothing
I'm just passing through
I say
After all its Christmas
Ill be gone by new year
You can go back to pretending your wife is the love of your life
I don't say this aloud
I was nothing
I'm just passing through I say
As nothing can be changed
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:40 AM UTC
Only I
There is a spell
This magic is a voice
This voice is sterling
It provokes
US into the shape of heavenly beings
Choosing life
Rather than non-existent rules
I'll fight you till you subdue
I'll speak wondrous tales in your ear
Submitting you to be restless
Confused
I'll be your darkness, light
Only I can sate this plight
Me alone shall condemn your days
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:39 AM UTC
We are ghosts in this house
I am a ghost in this house
A shadow of the past shapeless moving around you silently.
Carefully stepping on the stair steps that don't creak.
Sliding along the oak floors.
Wearing invisible clothes that don't crease.
Wondering constantly for your warmth to come back.
Grace me with your presence once more.
To be as we were solid
unbent perfection.
You are a ghost in this house
A breeze through the attic window that shimmers the curtains.
The cold side of the bed.
Wondering awake untill we meet again.
We walk circles round one another
Our hands never touch
Our bodies never meet.
I look for you in everything
Room to room but no luck
You am a ghost in this house
You bound up the stairs loudly but never make a sound.
I turn as I think I see a shadow.
Sitting on our bed with your head in your hands
A crying broken man
We are ghosts in this house
One alive, one dead
Moving around one another
But forever looking
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:38 AM UTC
Too Late
I was always late
For you
And I never rushed, never thinking I had to
Time stalked me like a wasp
I floated through life as if on a cloud
Thin air masking my mistakes
I was as elusive as life gets
Time meant nothing
And I'm sorry for this
I'm so sorry for this
I met you on a corner
Bitter weather battering your cheeks
Blue eyes sparkling under a mass of dark hair
You had waited an eternity there
We drank coffee on a bench
Mapping out the stars until dawn seeped in
As all thoughts provoked a certain clarity
You decided it would only ever be me
Always me
And I'm not sorry
I was late to the airport
Flying to Naples, no more planes for days
It had been years since you'd seen your family
So I watched as frost lay like icing over your dream
We played with silence like a toy for two weeks
And I'm sorry for this
The day of your parting
An hour of snow lay around your feet
A car skidded, you landed on the bonnet
I should of been there
I was at home reading an article
As your heart beat for the last time at the hospital
I should of been holding your hand, telling you I loved you
So I missed your departure too
And I am sorry
So sorry
Time is muffled
Churches like conveyer belts for the living and dead
As babies join this world, people leave it
The hurse shot to the church like a police car
I imagined it having flashing blue lights
Saying he's dead, he's dead
And I am too
I was late for your funeral
I'm not sorry for this
It was something I couldn't bare to do
But, we're you aware
The later I was
The longer I had you
You always calling
Where are you
Where are you
The longer you were in this world
Even if I wasn't next to you
The longer I loved you
The longer I knew you
The later I was
The longer you were in this life
Not rushing out of it
The longer I had you
And I'm not sorry for this
I'll never be sorry for this
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:37 AM UTC