lisatokki
Manila, Philippines
My mind is a mess. I sometimes have this urge feeling of bursting everything at once; and my thoughts seem to scatter everywhere, and I can't find my voice to speak--so I write. In writing, I feel certainty and peace: a thing that I can't just let go.
The world was not prepared to meet me.
My mother listened to soldiering footsteps; not to my inner cries.
Ears were deafened, and hearts were clamped down on.
I was conceived in double darkness; my fingers formed in midnight and stars.
My father ran away without plans of coming back.
My house was shattered inside my mother's womb.
I fell away from earth like wings made of flesh,
Fevered and forgotten.
They sifted through my mother's body and did not find me.
I was nothing but nothing died.
I died in the deaths of many people.
I died in many dyings.
Apr 9, 2020
Apr 9, 2020 at 5:58 AM UTC
To love you now means to love you from distance
My eyes swelling,
Heart desolate and longing
For the sound of your voice,
Warmth of your embrace
In the midst of despairing days,
Dreary nights
And sorrowful worries
Here, I love you from afar
In loving you there is no tomorrow;
Only today
If the world crushes on a beam of light in this moment,
Will I ever see you again?
Apr 9, 2020
Apr 9, 2020 at 5:49 AM UTC
In this society, the beautiful is more loved
Accepted,
Cherished,
Adored,
Held so dearly.
Oh how difficult it is to hide
The unlovely
and ill favored sight.
Dec 2, 2019
Dec 2, 2019 at 4:51 AM UTC
I am not yours and you are not mine.
You belong to someone else.
But you're here, by my side, and in this cold and rainy night we embrace
the warmth of each other's presence.
Thank you.
Thank you for giving me the chance to be in this moment.
I know this won't happen again in the future, that's why I am truly grateful.
I love you.
Dec 2, 2019
Dec 2, 2019 at 4:41 AM UTC
The shattered parts of me continue to be beaten
My crushed emotions and little strength are slowly vanishing
The fuzz light of hope dims as time goes by.
My bones are weak;
My voice is getting small,
My fingers find it hard to grasp,
and my legs begin to tremble.
I am ablaze with sadness,
fear, longing, and doubt
The days are becoming slower and longer
My gaze is getting blurred.
Will I be able to find my way home?
Nov 1, 2019
Nov 1, 2019 at 8:15 AM UTC
Is this really it?
Won't I ever see your smile again?
Won't I ever have to hold your hand
And kiss you when I can?
Is this really it?
Our laughter,
Our tears,
Our happiness,
Our stories,
Our love.
Is this really it?
I can feel your hand on me fading
Fading, fading...
Slipping away
And I can no longer see....
May 2, 2016
May 2, 2016 at 11:00 AM UTC
You are my home,
Shelter of my strength,
The ones I keep coming back to,
Zone of my comfort.
Apr 22, 2016
Apr 22, 2016 at 11:15 AM UTC
And after all the fights
The pain;
The loneliness;
The guilt;
The hate.
At the end of the day I will
find myself
wanting to be with you
And love you
more than
I ever did before.
Apr 9, 2016
Apr 9, 2016 at 1:53 PM UTC
December 31, 2015
From the moment you stand
and walk from the bus
I saw you outside the window;
standing; your hair was firm
and your eyes were searching
And I looked up,
saw that you faded.
And as I return my eyes to nowhere
I once think,
*How much I love the
way you walk*
and the way your shadow beams
How much I love the way
your eyes lit up and see;
How much I love you,
And how much
I look forward to
the day
I'll see you again.
Mar 25, 2016
Mar 25, 2016 at 1:34 PM UTC