I do not deserve to be here
I'm sorry you think I do.
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 3, 2015 at 11:18 PM UTC
I still don't want to be here
I still want to **** myself
you're not here
you promised you'd be here forever
you left
with no explanation
and you lied
I knew you like the back of my hand
now I can't look at you
I'm scared of you
I feel like you're something different
you're probably not
you're probably happy
that's so good
it hurts
you were my best friend
so easily you were gone
but it's not my fault
you left me
I can't be sad
or feel sorry for being happy
if you're sad that's not my fault
breaking yourself in the process
of breaking me
that's not my fault
May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 5:17 PM UTC
my eyes darkened when you walked away.
I see it in my pictures.
I wonder if you see it too.
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 10:59 PM UTC
the thoughts are always there,
I promise they only hide.
Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 12:42 AM UTC
it's like,
cutting an apple in half;
with one drop of the knife
it won't split.
you have to keep pushing
for it to break.
similarly,
a relationship;
with one incident
it won't split.
you have to keep pushing
for it to break.
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015 at 5:01 PM UTC
13 years ago
that Magnolia tree hovered over my yard.
it cast such a shadow
that everything underneath was always so cool.
the flowers were so beautiful;
the purest white to the palest pink.
when the sun was at a certain angle
the tree looked magical.
5 years ago the tree split in half.
back then
the grass was so much greener.
i don't mean the metaphor
the feeling of thin lucious grass running through my toes
always amazed me.
the grass is dead now.
we used to love the rain.
we would run up
and play in the middle of the street.
until the thunder cracked
and we'd race back home,
laughing the whole way.
I'm terrified of storms now.
you used to be able to hear kids playing.
you could drive through any neighborhood at any time of day during the spring and summer.
there would be kids outside.
playing baseball, rundown, release, soccer-
riding bikes, scooters, skateboards, go karts-
jumping on pogo sticks, trampolines, and over ropes.
even at night
we would go out
trying to catch lightening bugs.
we're inside on our phones now.
the trees going to school.
God were they something.
they lined the road,
every tree was the exact same
but something about there being so many in one place
could take your breath away.
2 years ago the road and trees were destroyed
I wish things never changed
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 26, 2015 at 12:46 AM UTC
I changed my wallpaper back
to that picture of us
and I put the hearts back next to your name
because
I don't want things to change
and I thought maybe..
if I did that..
you wouldn't leave & nothing would change
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 12:22 AM UTC
you're happier without me
I understand that
just please don't rub I'm the fact that you're okay
& I'm not
I can't stand to see you smile.
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 10:34 AM UTC
for someone to put the light back into me.
for someone to make me smile permanently,
not just hours at a time.
I want to feel complete
without someone having to be infront of me.
but I want someone here
or there...
someone who doesn't think I'm crazy.
someone who I dont see every day,
so the most important things
can be told on the days between.
someone who can make me feel special
who can confide in me
as I do them.
all I ask from you is
to not be what I want.
Feb 10, 2015
Feb 10, 2015 at 9:48 PM UTC