Something so unreal it has to be a dream.
Something so logical, I know that it’s not.
Something I’m so sure of now,
And thus have no choice but to question.
I know I should run,
Run and never look back.
But as soon as I’ve left the door,
As soon as the quarter totters between heads and tails,
I will know I’ve made a mistake.
Or I will know I have not.
No matter, it will be too late.
But if the door is never touched,
I will never leave.
I will never see objectively.
Forever swept up,
Forever locked up,
Forever so sure of him and me.
“Welcome to the game of life,” says he.
Jun 27, 2012
Jun 27, 2012 at 6:33 AM UTC
She drew a breath and let it go as she crept closer to the edge. She shivered as her toes, painted pink, hugged the ledge. She brushed a trespassing orange hair from her brow and and stretched her arms to the sky. Took one final breath as she closed her eyes. She leapt. Pushed her heels into the ground. Then the pads of her toes. The tips of her toes. She extended her arms and flew. And as the world whizzed past in vibrant blacks and grays, the ground below her exploded into detail. It was amazing. Beautiful. The memories of her past were far from her mind, everything terrible shut behind the blinds. The ground rose up to meet her and caressed her cheek. She regained her senses for only a moment and her green eyes flashed a smile. She opened her hands and pressed her fingers to the cool concrete and as a chill ran through her veins. The corners of her perfectly red lips pulled into a gentle smile, and she was happy. Her eyelids fluttered and then laid motionless above her freckled cheeks. She faded as she melted into the ground.----- Her nose twitched and wrinkled to the singe of winter’s chill and the smell of hospital food. She awoke, eyes closed, to the rhythmic chirp of an EKG machine. She ran her hand up her arm and felt the IV and needles. She slowly came out of unconsciousness and felt pain and then her mothers fingers entwined between hers. She knew it was her. She knew the shape of her hands well. Every curve and wrinkle, the indent from where her mother’s wedding ring once sat for so long, but not anymore. She felt the hands that had held her for sixteen years. Her eyes slowly flicked open and she found the flustered but relieved visage of her mother. The girl shut her eyes, quick. Hoping they would never open again.
May 20, 2012
May 20, 2012 at 3:25 AM UTC
Even when we fight,
Never forget to kiss me goodnight.
Nov 24, 2011
Nov 24, 2011 at 1:30 AM UTC
I’m quick to kiss but slow to trust,
I’m last to cheat but first to lust.
Maybe one day my feet will follow the lead,
For my heart knows which one means the most to me.
Nov 24, 2011
Nov 24, 2011 at 1:29 AM UTC
I tried to paint you a picture,
But the colors were all wrong.
Blatant honesty,
And now you’re gone.
When I figure everything out,
I’ll let you know,
But until then,
All you and I can do is let the future unfold.
I don’t know what I want,
But I don’t want this.
I think I’ve lost a best friend,
And it all started with a kiss.
Nov 24, 2011
Nov 24, 2011 at 1:28 AM UTC
I’m so unsure and so confused
I honestly have never been so torn between what to choose
What if the right one for me was you
And you’re the one I was most scared to loose
And that’s the honest truth
Something was different about you
And it’s not something I can explain
It’s not one thing
Not a list with traits I can to pick and choose
It’s just you
Only you
My chest is heavy and my eyes are blurry
Cause my head says go but my heart knows to worry
That I should have chosen you
And I don’t know why I do what I do
But I had that moment to choose
And I didn’t choose you.
You held me when I cried
You put your hands on my sides
And you always knew the words to make me smile
You didn’t even try
And thats why I fell for you
Just you
Only you.
When I was with you,
You were you
And I was me
And somehow it was perfect harmony
But I picked him cause he was new
But I’m still not sure that was the right thing to do
I just need time to unblur the thoughts in my head
So I can decide what needs to be done and said
But you’re right,
You’re only you.
Just you.
Only you.
And please never change.
Cause I love everything you do.
Just you.
Only you.
Nov 24, 2011
Nov 24, 2011 at 1:28 AM UTC
A ship in its harbor is always safe,
But that’s not why ships are built.
Ships exist to carry passengers
And wobble through ocean’s stilts.
She is not built to never leave
Or face a dangerous trip.
It’s made to face the roaring seas
Even if her frame will rip.
At least she had a story,
At least she lived her life.
At least she saw the world
And lived with confidence and strife.
Ships are made to be used
And their underbellies torn.
It’s holes to be patched
And wooden body worn.
But without wounds it would just sit.
Useless and rotting bit by bit.
Withering away until her maker tears her up
Or gives her away to simply fill his cup.
A boat whom never sees the war
Can never say she’s tried.
A boat who’s never held the wounded,
Can never say she’s cried.
And a boat who’s never lived a life
Can never say she’ll die.
Nov 24, 2011
Nov 24, 2011 at 1:26 AM UTC
As I descend the stairs at night
The pictures come alive
In my mind
And the creatures in my head
Crawl from behind the blinds
And shrink across the floor
And materialize through doors
And the paintings on the walls
The little boys and girls creep out
But their smiling faces
Have been left behind in the world
Of which they just hopped out.
All the the movies and stories that I’ve read
The scary ones that one should never read in bed
Play out before my eyes
In my mind
But the mind is more powerful in the dark of night
And what would normally stay inside my head
Now is just as tangible as that being said.
Mirrors and windows and dark little corners
And cupboards and closets, the air slightly warmer.
I’d close my eyes
But it only gets worse
Because the pictures in my head
Just grow and they seem to get larger
They expand and the twist and morph into worse
Than the scariest stories is movies or books
I feel across the wall for a light switch
And I could swear a felt a touch
Oh my gosh i breathe hush brain hush
It was only my cat
But I swear I’ll get him in the morning for that.
Every turn of my head fills me with dread
And every slight noise has me running for the covers of my bed.
My fingers creep across the wall in desperate search of the light
But I hit something unfamiliar
The texture not right
Oh my gosh dad...you put tape over the light?
Now, what am i supposed to do
The other switch on the opposite side of the room?
I take a deep breathe
And with all my speed I dash
And hit the wall with undeniable force
And again scan the wall with my hands to find what I search.
Finally the light flicks on and I let out my breathe
that realize i’ve been holding from I don’t know when since.
Everything that played out in the dark of the night
Has faded away with the replacement of light.
I grab my phone and again hit the light
And dash upstairs with all my might.
Oh my gosh.
I’m alright.
Nov 24, 2011
Nov 24, 2011 at 1:25 AM UTC
I didn’t find a lucky penny
So I flipped it over for someone else to find.
And then I turned the corner and dropped a dime
Just in time
For a little boy to pick it up and yell
“hey mom, I found a dime!”
And I couldn’t help but smile
As the little boy’s hand slid to his pocket
But he didn’t drop the dime inside.
He held it inside his pocket
And would not let go.
Because to that little boy,
That dime was the most money he had ever known.
It could buy him some shoes, a ball, or even a car.
Because money is just money when you’re little
And even a dime can take you so very far.
I hope his mother won’t spoil his fun
And just let his imagination run.
He turned another corner and was gone.
On my way to the store that day
I also dropped a dollar,
Just so someone could end their day
with “I guess today was okay”.
In the end I made it home
With nothing in my pockets,
Just a pencil and a stone.
I never found a lucky penny
But I left plenty for the crowds.
I had no money,
But I was happy
From all the smiles and the shouts.
I’d turn my dollars into quarters,
and quarters into dimes
And those into pennies,
Just so I could leave you something to find.
So next time you find a lucky penny
Please think of me,
And how I have nothing but I am happy.
Nov 24, 2011
Nov 24, 2011 at 1:25 AM UTC
I am oh so very frustrated,
Every time that I pray.
I hope so hard there is a god,
I’ve convinced myself there must be a way.
This life I life cannot be the end.
I cannot live deprived of plans,
Crafted and mulled over in my creator’s mighty hands.
I need to have a purpose.
I don’t want to live for just a life.
And what’s the point
In pressing on for just worldly strife?
If no god exists,
Then when I die,
I’m neither here nor anywhere,
Indefinitely interred in the earth.
My condemnation record bare.
If there is no god above,
There is no wrong or right.
There is no sadness in a death,
If all there is, is day and night.
When I close my eyes and cry,
It’s not because I pray.
It’s my hands clasped in desperate frustration,
Hoping that I will find my god someday.
Nov 24, 2011
Nov 24, 2011 at 1:24 AM UTC