heads in the clouds but body with you
definitely got me mixed up this time around
second chances often disappoint but
people change all the time
right?
forget what i said earlier about people changing
you've gone and left just like you always did
not sure why
it's you, not me
maybe third time is the charm
Sep 5, 2016
Sep 5, 2016 at 2:45 AM UTC
My first promise to you is this
I promise I never cared
The reason I stayed was to cure my own
Sadness, that's why I stared
Not out of love or longing
But momentary relief from this suffocating loneliness
My second promise to you,
You were a good placeholder
Someone to bear through my pale conversations
Someone who offered me their body
Which I gladly accepted
The way you taste was a wonderful distraction
From all the things I experience in my head
My third promise, then
I promise you are replaceable
Your contribution to me, was all I needed
And you are nothing more than
A temporary,
that I valued as I value thing day to day items
Good while I need them
Useless when I don't
My fourth promise
You could have been anyone
I loved you, but anyone could have been you
People are like gas, and any gas would have filled
The void within me
You filled me up, took up all my space and time
But I only needed you for a little while
My fifth and final promise,
And I really mean this one
Everything I have just written is a lie
You are everything I have wanted
You are everything I will want
And I'm broken by my own inability to have kept you
So I tell myself I am numb to you
But the truth is
You make me melt
And I don't want to be frozen anymore**
**last two lines from Incubus song "Have You Ever" written by Brandon Boyd
May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 2:59 AM UTC
I trick myself, see
Into beliefs that do not really exist
My beliefs are not really my own,
I am just a reflection of the world's desires
I cannot be sure what I believe
Because I cannot be sure of what I see
And I'm not really sure what I need
Besides, if anyone knew what was real
We wouldn't be stuck in this dismal plane
Delusion may be wrong, but at least I can believe in that.
May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 2:48 AM UTC
Ha.
It started with a laugh
Pleasant, yea?
Ending with death
Death of us, split
A tragic comedy indeed
Maturity,
Maturity,
Where are you, and where have you been?
I sought you for so long, seeking within
You do not exist within the confines
of my Super Ego, ID - no, only I exist there
Not maturity which makes my soul bare
No - I do not want to be your friend
You were never my friend
And I always loved you
Maybe you were too stupid to see
The unbearable pain it's caused
To think I would ever be a friend
To someone in which I saw no end
Disgusted by the thought
Of being with you
Without being with you
Nevertheless
I will grow and break out of my skin
Surely a snake sheds his shell occasionally
And I, the snake, the slithering
Will be sure to leave behind old values
The same old values that you once treasured
And the same old values that destroyed
Everything I thought we had
May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 2:43 AM UTC
Remember me? The one who idled by, patient
Waiting for you, as I grew ancient
Still, I held no anger or despair
As I know the treatment was good judgment and fair
I supposed I never knew I would get to that point
Where I scared you off, scattered
Leaving you bruised, beaten and battered
Never physically
But the mind's skin is more delicate than we know
And sad for us, not something we can show
Do you remember me, though?
I still feel the same, despite it all
My longing for you has never dwindled
Your absence caused me to feel swindled
My adoration knew no bounds
Especially when you were nowhere to be found
Please say you remember me
Truly as I am, not as the Monster
within, we all have a monster
so I'm sorry you had to see mine
And I promised I'd keep her chained up,
taut line
Forget me now, as you surely have
I don't even have to ask
I know where your mind is
Long gone, detached from me
Though we once shared sleep every night
I see that you had to take flight
To protect yourself from your biggest fear
The love I had to give you, it got too near
And scared you away,
So I ask only that
While you may forget me
And the smile on my face as we kissed
Please remember the love I had for you
It never left, it never will
It will remember you as surely as you will forget me.
May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 2:33 AM UTC
Powdered sugar mountains
Snowing with sweet
Delectable dunes
Infused insects
Pureed peaks
Zesty zeolites
Caramelized clouds
and Sauteed Sunshine
These are a few of my favorite things.
Dec 1, 2012
Dec 1, 2012 at 3:37 AM UTC
The slender curves of your waist
Smile at me as I caress you with my eyes
And undress you with my lies
Dec 1, 2012
Dec 1, 2012 at 3:22 AM UTC
everybody wants to know what's going on
a simple "..it's complicated" doesn't seem to suffice anymore
everybody wants to see what's in between
but nobody wants to be there when you hit the floor
their jaded perspective, reflective and objective,
should bear no power over your own experience
although, impressionable as we are,
tend to take things said as serious
Dec 1, 2012
Dec 1, 2012 at 3:03 AM UTC
in times of blurred certainty
it's easier to revert way back
when given the opportunity to branch out
You deny?
when situations arise
that might compromise
your current state of being,
instead of seeing
the chance for growth
you betray your oath
to remain clear in times of ambiguity
and beware of karma's daunting promiscuity
committed to your own values of self -
nobody else,
will give you clarity
to define through the disparity
Aug 8, 2012
Aug 8, 2012 at 4:47 AM UTC
Bizarre how situations once bigger than my ability to cope
dawned over me looming, stifling my wishes for growth
a cloud that used to stir upon my head
day in and out without rest.
A storm brewing above,
forever reminding me of the ever present electricity
that once ran through our love.
Aug 8, 2012
Aug 8, 2012 at 4:35 AM UTC