You told me I needed to love myself before anyone else would and even though I might agree with you that's just so **** hard. I'm not expecting you to love me enough for the both of us and I'm not asking you to pick up all the pieces and put me back together. All I'm asking for is for you to be there while I do it. I understand you've probably never been with someone who's felt broken but I'm starting to feel whole again and I'm making myself happy now and it's not that I need you it's that I want you and you bring a certain light to this grey world we all live in. You make me want to look at things differently and want to think about the best part of every day. And if that isn't what's making me fall in love with you maybe it's when your eyes light up when you talk about something you love. Or when you get the childish grin when you finally figure something out or when your laugh raises in pitch when you think somethings funny. I just can't stop myself from admiring all your qualities and I understand if you can't do the same. All I've ever wanted was for you to try
Jan 22, 2017
Jan 22, 2017 at 11:49 PM UTC
We both know how this ends. You find yourself wandering the streets at night knee deep in that bottle of whiskey you found in your father's closet hoping that you'll find your way home. Home. Stop trying to build a home in a person that's constantly slamming doors in your face. Slamming them so hard that the walls come crashing down around you and you're left a trembling mess alone again. Wandering the streets again. Maybe you'll find your way to their doorstep and build up the strength to walk up the driveway but see the lights still on and turn around. Remembering what it was like to leave the window open at night because they couldn't sleep without the breeze. You wake up in the morning and can still smell them in your pillowcase you haven't changed since they left. You haven't changed since they left.
Jun 19, 2016
Jun 19, 2016 at 7:45 PM UTC
Stop building a home inside of people. You'll feel it all. Every tremble in their hands, every lump in their throat. Trapped behind a rib cage that protects you from nothing. Holes in your heart from all of the stitches you've made in theirs. You're disappearing. Let the blood rush through their veins and hope you don't drown. You don't need help to fall apart.
Jun 14, 2016
Jun 14, 2016 at 12:37 AM UTC
Tell me how it sunk in your chest. The thought of them coming home. How history is constantly repeating itself. Dragging you back to the person you used to be. How distance is only a number. That the difference between here and there is a single letter. How every time they leave is like a weight tied to your feet. Slowly drifting to the bottom. How the darkness consumes you. Your heart being shoved back in your face and you're too blind to see it.
Apr 25, 2016
Apr 25, 2016 at 1:00 AM UTC
Empty hearts and broken promises
It's like you left me in a daydream
All I remember is that it hurts
A never ending storm inside my chest
Each spout of thunder crushing my bones
There's puddles in my memory that I keep tripping into
Drowning in the idea that you might come back
That things could be better this time
Apr 16, 2016
Apr 16, 2016 at 1:46 AM UTC
This love of ours
is ripped at the seams
I keep falling through
cracks in my heart
Just let me kiss
all of the places
your hands wander
when you think of me
I find traces of you
drowning in cigarette smoke
Sometimes I
hear your voice
in mine
Home doesn't have
an address
But maybe I'm just sick
of feeling empty
and alone
Feb 14, 2016
Feb 14, 2016 at 10:41 PM UTC
I've tried to rebuild the home you stole from me when you left. Something is always off about it. I go searching for you but it seems as though you don't want to be found. I find myself knocking on doors of abandoned buildings. I can't figure out which one of us I'm looking for. I've knocked so many times my knuckles bleed. They say to heal a wound you need to stop touching it. But I keep tracing the lines of my body in search of the last place you touched and I can't ever find it. I can't ever find you. Things are supposed to get better with time but I feel my life slipping away from me and nothing's changed. Trying to tie the loose ends of the strings you left on my heart. Each one tugs at a different memory of you and I'm trying not to just rip them all out. Every time I smell alcohol I remember the night I told you I like the taste of it on your lips. I'd rather taste it on your tongue than hear you yelling it through the phone. In my hallowed out soul I can still hear the echoes of our love bouncing off the walls.
Jan 24, 2016
Jan 24, 2016 at 9:46 PM UTC
I think it's time to throw in the towel. Watch the flames get smothered out. They always said you should never reignite an old flame. We thought we were a perfect match, but darling matches burn. I think we've burnt out. I've done everything I can and I still find myself staring at your back as you walk out that door. You just keep leaving and I guess there's nothing I can do to make you stay. There's always a place in my heart for you. Whether it be the size of a crater or the size of a penny, it'll always be there. I keep a picture of you in my desk drawer. It holds all of the memories of us that I can't keep in my head anymore. They're like nails on a chalkboard. I can feel my heart wrench every time I think of you. Imagine all the boxes shoved in the back of your closet. How every single one of them holds a memory that you cannot grasp anymore. You kept my monsters at bay but now they're eating me alive.
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 12:26 AM UTC
I scream your name down empty hallways hoping your voice will echo back. Sometimes I wish for the death of the emotions. I want to feel nothing, just for a moment. It's like everything in my life is crashing around me like waves on rocks and all I can think about is how you hate the ocean. I wonder what it'd be like if I just didn't exist anymore. How the world would carry on without me, how you would carry on without me. It's like seeing crumpled bed sheets and wondering who laid there next to you while you fell asleep. It's like a car crash you can't look away from. It's tragic yet hopeful. You see, I understand that things couldn't work out but I still manage to wish they do. I would start praying to god if there was a chance he could save us but things aren't getting better and I just don't believe.
Jan 18, 2016
Jan 18, 2016 at 12:34 AM UTC
I started cutting up the strings on my dream catcher. I guess I was hoping that they would somehow come true if I shook them out. The only thing that's happened is that I started bleeding. I don't know whether it was from my heart or the fact that there's a blade in my hand and I'm slowly remembering how I used to use it. These empty hallways have such a resemblance to cemeteries. The walls hold pictures of our memories. Each frame is a gravestone for a time when I was happy. My life is haunted by the concept that we had once completed each other. The ghost of our love's past and the future it never got to see. You can give someone the world and they'll just throw it back in your face. I guess it wasn't good enough. It always felt like we were born from the same star. Spending all of forever searching for a way back home. They say all air is recycled. God I hope that's true. I stare at the ceiling in the middle of the night taking deep breaths, I hope there's still traces of you.
Jan 14, 2016
Jan 14, 2016 at 7:36 PM UTC