I just feel dizy
Where all the time go
Nothing is logical and I've lot the sense of purpose
And even though
I'm still a human
My body makes me feel like I'm just a reject
Reject of stars
Reject of life
Nothing is logical and I've lost the sense of purpose
My body's flying
But I stay put down
Is this really the end of my existance?
May 31, 2021
May 31, 2021 at 4:39 PM UTC
I washed the hoodie you left at my house.
I put it in my laundry machine and pressed start. I watched it as the smell of you forever leaves it’s fabric. All of the feelings I buried deep down inside me are gone.
It no longer holds any power over me, I no longer treat it as an enemy.
Now it’s just a piece of clothing that used to be yours
It doesn’t bring memories anymore
It is just a simple hoodie that used to be yours.
I don't sleep in it anymore. I don't keep it close to me as if it is going to protect me when the bad times come. Right now I see it only as a piece of clothing and nothing else. I am at peace with an object that never even knew I had so many feeling towards it.
It is just
a stupid
hoodie.
I let go of my claim on you
I am free.
It was itchy anyways.
Dec 27, 2020
Dec 27, 2020 at 9:20 PM UTC
Because it’s not only “I want to **** myself”
Sometimes it’s so much more than that
Because saying that you want to **** yourself
Or to be
Dead
Is scary
Sometimes it may be sleeping way too much
Or eating less than you should
Or not caring about anything or anyone
Sometimes it’s the need to be alone even though you crave someone so badly
Or staring at a blank wall for an hour
Or not having enough tears left to cry
They say if you wanted to **** yourself you would just do it
But there still is a little bit of hope in my heart
I still believe than someone might help me
But I’m too afraid to ask
It’s so **** stupid
If I have literally nothing to lose
If my life is worth so little to me right now
Why don’t I just try
Its because my brain has already given up
But my heart’s still beating
And it won’t stop until my brain shuts it out
Dec 27, 2020
Dec 27, 2020 at 9:08 PM UTC
I want to grow old to see how my life will evolve
But at the same time I want to die young so I dont have to look back and wonder how my life would've turnt out if I did the things I never had the courage to do
I want my grandkids to be interested in all the stories I tell
But what If i won't have any?
If I died today, what would I be remebered by?
As the girl who never looked back or a girl who did everything she felt was right?
Aug 12, 2020
Aug 12, 2020 at 6:11 PM UTC
I thought my ears will forever forget the sound of your voice
But accidents happen
And now I no longer know what to believe
I used to think that when the day we meet finally comes I will be scared shitless not knowing what to do
But I am calm now
Because when I think of the things you did to me I realise that you were just a lesson
A tough one, I must admit but I learned a lot
And I hope you did too
Farwell, old friend
This time for good
Because I no longer am your student
Jun 22, 2020
Jun 22, 2020 at 7:00 PM UTC
Sometimes I wonder if what I'm feeling is happiness or just being less sad
Because I forgot what happy means
It's like happiness is my uncle that I see only once a year on christmas and I only say hi because I'm to scared to star a conversation because I wouldn't know what to talk about
How do I talk to a person I have nothing in common with and
why am I supposed to be the one to start the conversation?
I can't wrap my head around the fact that some poeple are mentally stable and just go about their day when they wake up without crying after the alarm rings
Why can't I be one of them?
When I was younger my parents would read me stories about magic and fairies. They told me it's not real but I still wanted to believe.
Now when people tell me it's going to get better I just stuff these words where the memories of me wanting to be a fairy are
Far away
Because I am no longer a child
and I don't believe in something that doesn't exist
May 30, 2020
May 30, 2020 at 4:41 PM UTC
I am so mad that I have to live in a world where
**** jokes are funny
catcalling is normal
touching with no permission is not a big deal
and where boys complain that they have to ask for consent
May 7, 2020
May 7, 2020 at 10:53 AM UTC
If my body could speak
What would it say?
Would it be proud of me or ashamed?
I hope it won't complain about the way I treat it
But who am I kidding
I know I deserve it
I hope it'll give me a chance to at least say sorry
I really want to say that it doesn't have to worry
But
We both know with me it's not the case
It keeps me alive
And I treat it like a waste
Apr 27, 2020
Apr 27, 2020 at 5:18 PM UTC
You ignore me for days
And I start to go insane
I catch myself looking at my phone hoping you would text me way more than I should
I try to convince mysef that you're the bad guy and It's not my fault
But it's not that easy when I love you with all of my heart and soul
You don't appreciate me at all
You can't bother to pick up the phone
You hug me only when you need to feel loved
I start to think you don't even LIKE me at all
But wait, you get mad when I don't have the time?
When I'm too tired to kiss you goodbye?
When I put myself first, even before you?
How dare you
I don't know why I let you call me your Boo
Mar 29, 2020
Mar 29, 2020 at 12:58 PM UTC
All these poems we write about this one specific person.... endless words, endless hope.
Endless dissapointment.
Mar 22, 2020
Mar 22, 2020 at 5:42 PM UTC