I’m lost and I’m confused.
I don’t know anymore if I’m trying
I don’t know how to tell
If I’m trying to forget
Or trying to remember.
Do I love you?
Do I hate myself?
Who am I anymore.
I’ve built my life trying
To fix mistakes
That won’t be fixed.
That can’t be.
I don’t know anymore if I’m trying.
Trying to love you.
Or trying to forget to.
Mar 23, 2020
Mar 23, 2020 at 10:48 PM UTC
I’m angry.
I’m angry with myself.
Because I’ve been letting
You hold me down.
Hold me back
And make me forget.
There are so many things I wanted
And I gave them up.
To try and fix mistakes
That shouldn’t have been made.
I’m furious with myself.
I’m angry and I know
There’s someone to blame.
And no one.
Mar 23, 2020
Mar 23, 2020 at 10:20 PM UTC
I don’t want to parent you.
I don’t want to fight for every second.
I don’t know who you are.
You lie and lie.
I’m tired of being the one.
That takes care of everything.
Except myself.
Mar 23, 2020
Mar 23, 2020 at 10:19 PM UTC
The broken wing,
The bird too lost to sing,
The quiet sea,
The frost upon a pine tree,
The quiet song
The roaring throng
An angry mountain,
A broken throne
Whispers of something far
Something true
Mistakes and imperfections
Hiding meaning, threading bare
Reaching hands, pleading eyes,
Unattainable, unyielding, far off lies
Something true.
Mar 14, 2017
Mar 14, 2017 at 9:11 PM UTC
They say we’re crazy
When we care too much
When we don’t care enough.
They say we are too emotional
When their little lies and broken words
Find a way to creep inside our guarded hearts.
They find a reason to tear apart
Every beating unbroken heart.
They whisper and they talk down from behind
When we give up, when we decide to be alone
When we must travel far, far from home,
It won’t matter how you act, what you say or who you know
Because they’ll find a way to call you crazy
To attack without any pomp or show.
The loner will always be crazy,
Failing to conform,
Acting different than the norm.
If you guard yourself and don’t let anyone in
They’ll find a way to make you pay.
Mar 12, 2017
Mar 12, 2017 at 10:19 AM UTC
Marriage.
The day you get married.
It’s not who you have been,
Or are now,
Today is about celebrating
Who you both will be
Together-
From now until forever.
Mar 12, 2017
Mar 12, 2017 at 10:17 AM UTC
I can hear it in your voice
I can see it in your eyes
I watch it in your smile
The way you looked at me...
The way you thought of me...
It's gone.
I know I made a choice-
I know you could hear it in my voice.
I didn't let you in
I said no- I couldn't even begin
My fears disguised by rationality.
But where does that leave me?
Behind? Forgotten? Alone?
I can hear it in your voice.
Please don't leave me
Without a choice,
Please don't leave me-
Behind...
Forgotten and alone
With my choice.
Mar 12, 2017
Mar 12, 2017 at 10:12 AM UTC
So you say it's hard to watch people change,
But it's not really.
It hurts to see someone grow apart from you
But you're changing too.
What hurts isn't to see someone you know
Become someone you knew
It's worse to accept
You can't know if what someone used to be
Is what they remember too.
To hold a memory close to your heart
Is different than seeing a memory ripped apart.
You say it's too hard to get over the past...
But it's not really.
It's much worse to realize
The past really doesn't last.
Mar 12, 2017
Mar 12, 2017 at 10:09 AM UTC
I can't watch you get over me-
I can't wait around and see
I don't want to watch it in your eyes
I am so so tired of goodbyes
I could try to let you in-
But I can't listen to the cold creep into your voice.
I can't just watch without a choice.
I gave so many reasons... But now-
I see.
The real reason I said no-
Was because I couldn't wait and see
I couldn't watch-
Wait... and watch you get over me
Mar 12, 2017
Mar 12, 2017 at 10:04 AM UTC
He had the world in his pocket.
But he was always afraid to look.
The first up to bat
The last on the hook.
He was a cool contradiction.
A child of a man.
Selfish yet caring
Honest but lost
He was beautiful and strong.
But self-conscious and oh so wrong.
Afraid to love
But at a loss concerning the cost
He had the world in his pocket
If only he would try
Maybe just maybe
Perhaps- he could learn how to fly.
Feb 25, 2017
Feb 25, 2017 at 6:19 AM UTC
