lazarus_lady - Hello Poetry

Thinking about all the times I said yes Just to make others happy Now everyone seems to have forgotten That my life is my own. This is why they don't teach you to say no- So that you can't say it to their face When the time comes. They've been raising me like a pig for slaughter. I guess I should've known better. Should've spoken up. Should've acted out. Should've stomped my feet and yelled "NO!" Gotten a tattoo, smoked some **** Said I'll do whatever the **** I need. But no one ever told me Being a good girl never does any good. You just miss out on what the world has to offer End up putting a stopper on your anger Like trapping a genie in a bottle. And guess what? The genie ends up Developing its own Stockholm Syndrome. You get trained with treats like a dog Sit, stay, fetch! All the while putting a leash on your collar When you're not looking. It's a bit of a stretch, you say? You're right. Having a teen rebel phase in your twenties is not cool. What can I say? I've always been a little slow. But now it feels like life is on hold forever. I've handed the keys over And locked myself in. Within my head is no longer A good place to escape to.

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May 22, 2020

May 22, 2020 at 5:12 AM UTC

Last Words of A Good Girl

Thinking about all the times I said yes Just to make others happy Now everyone seems to have forgotten That my life is my own. This is why they don't teach you to say no- So that you can't say it to their face When the time comes. They've been raising me like a pig for slaughter. I guess I should've known better. Should've spoken up. Should've acted out. Should've stomped my feet and yelled "NO!" Gotten a tattoo, smoked some **** Said I'll do whatever the **** I need. But no one ever told me Being a good girl never does any good. You just miss out on what the world has to offer End up putting a stopper on your anger Like trapping a genie in a bottle. And guess what? The genie ends up Developing its own Stockholm Syndrome. You get trained with treats like a dog Sit, stay, fetch! All the while putting a leash on your collar When you're not looking. It's a bit of a stretch, you say? You're right. Having a teen rebel phase in your twenties is not cool. What can I say? I've always been a little slow. But now it feels like life is on hold forever. I've handed the keys over And locked myself in. Within my head is no longer A good place to escape to.

36

there's a storm raging outside and one on the inside. the worst seen in seven years, they say. but all i can think about is you're 151 kilometers away and i hope i hope i hope the wind that touches me has touched you first on its way here.

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May 20, 2020

May 20, 2020 at 2:10 PM UTC

storm

there's a storm raging outside and one on the inside. the worst seen in seven years, they say. but all i can think about is you're 151 kilometers away and i hope i hope i hope the wind that touches me has touched you first on its way here.

10

I always thought that you Were a god of some kind. Which is ironic, since I don't believe in those. But for you, my love I'm even willing to kneel before Him, and pray.

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May 19, 2020

May 19, 2020 at 2:13 AM UTC

Benediction

I always thought that you Were a god of some kind. Which is ironic, since I don't believe in those. But for you, my love I'm even willing to kneel before Him, and pray.

7

I know how the fairytale goes. Nobody wants the dragon Guarding the tower. They want the Princess They can save. But I have scales for skin And I breathe fire Through my fangs. Don't assume I won't Eat you for dinner And use your bones To pick my teeth.

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May 14, 2020

May 14, 2020 at 2:53 PM UTC

Goodnight Tale

I know how the fairytale goes. Nobody wants the dragon Guarding the tower. They want the Princess They can save. But I have scales for skin And I breathe fire Through my fangs. Don't assume I won't Eat you for dinner And use your bones To pick my teeth.

12

I can see the rest of my life Stretched out before me like a vast, barren landscape. An exquisite panorama of nothingness. Day after day melt into one another, A continuum of mundane activities. I can close my eyes and pick out Any day and it will not be Any different from the rest. Looking back, I can see the bones of my hopes Lying behind me. Shameless in their nakedness. All my mistakes scattered here and there, monuments to my failures. And there's loneliness. Loneliness like a little child Chained to my waist, Keeping me company. I dream it will turn into a balloon And fly away from me. But let's be real here We all know that is not to be. There the future awaits In the distant horizon, hazy as a mirage. If I follow the trajectory of history I can see I've already crossed the highest point. My glory days mock me from behind- "It's all a downward slope from here." I can already feel my Bones buckling under the weight Of expectations. So I lay down my weapons And close my eyes. Turn up the volume, turn off the lights. I will turn this barren land Into my utopia, in my sleep.

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May 4, 2020

May 4, 2020 at 9:48 AM UTC

On My Twenty-fourth Birthday

I can see the rest of my life Stretched out before me like a vast, barren landscape. An exquisite panorama of nothingness. Day after day melt into one another, A continuum of mundane activities. I can close my eyes and pick out Any day and it will not be Any different from the rest. Looking back, I can see the bones of my hopes Lying behind me. Shameless in their nakedness. All my mistakes scattered here and there, monuments to my failures. And there's loneliness. Loneliness like a little child Chained to my waist, Keeping me company. I dream it will turn into a balloon And fly away from me. But let's be real here We all know that is not to be. There the future awaits In the distant horizon, hazy as a mirage. If I follow the trajectory of history I can see I've already crossed the highest point. My glory days mock me from behind- "It's all a downward slope from here." I can already feel my Bones buckling under the weight Of expectations. So I lay down my weapons And close my eyes. Turn up the volume, turn off the lights. I will turn this barren land Into my utopia, in my sleep.

34

I like this little game we're playing. His subtle hints, My coy replies. Hide and seek and hide and seek and hide- how long until one of us gets caught? Does he really think He can lure me in with his careless facade? I'm not a hungry child anymore Glimpses of sugarsweet treats don't Fool me. "Want to win my favor? Worship me", I say to him. "Offer blood at my altar." Meekness does little to impress me. Countless have sacrificed Their all to win me over But to no avail. I have burned long enough to Give myself away at the slightest hint of agony.

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Apr 26, 2020

Apr 26, 2020 at 1:00 PM UTC

Goddess

I like this little game we're playing. His subtle hints, My coy replies. Hide and seek and hide and seek and hide- how long until one of us gets caught? Does he really think He can lure me in with his careless facade? I'm not a hungry child anymore Glimpses of sugarsweet treats don't Fool me. "Want to win my favor? Worship me", I say to him. "Offer blood at my altar." Meekness does little to impress me. Countless have sacrificed Their all to win me over But to no avail. I have burned long enough to Give myself away at the slightest hint of agony.

16

You think you can outrun me? I keep my demons as pets. Running is not an option And hiding will be of no help. The only way to survive Is to surrender. Let yourself be devoured And see how I remold you Into the glorious creature You were born to be.

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Feb 15, 2020

Feb 15, 2020 at 1:30 PM UTC

Run

You think you can outrun me? I keep my demons as pets. Running is not an option And hiding will be of no help. The only way to survive Is to surrender. Let yourself be devoured And see how I remold you Into the glorious creature You were born to be.

10

I promised myself I would Not break my own heart again. I never keep any promises.

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Nov 20, 2018

Nov 20, 2018 at 1:36 PM UTC

Promises