Procrastination
(Clap, Clap, Clap)
Sixty-four
(Clap, Clap, Clap)
No repeats
(Clap, Clap, Clap)
Or hesitations
I go first
You go second.
Do we attempt
this ungodly mess?
Mountains and mountains
of ten-page study guides
A presentation Friday
Jesus Christ!
Do I study?
Should I sleep?
I don’t know
It’s all too much.
(Clap, Clap, Clap)
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 16, 2018 at 7:12 PM UTC
Taking on the world
One crazy event,
After another with
nothing phases me.
Moving on my own.
No help. Just me.
Drove six hours
For a new life.
Life's a hectic place.
I’ve grown up in
this ****** up world
taking on hardships.
Like heart breaking into
a million pieces, crying over
someone who never truly,
gave a ****
Listening to parents
bicker back and forth.
Hating each other’s guts,
forced to choose a side.
Even at eight
I knew it was wrong.
Standing up for myself
In front of my father.
Showing I can be on
my own, without any
help.
Then, mother of all
roadblocks hits. The worry
that the task has become
too difficult to achieve.
Study hard and you
can set your mind to
do anything, they all say.
But they don’t factor in
life’s hectic role.
Worries pile on:
"What if?"
"What about this?" Or
“How can I change so I can make this work?”
Sometimes you can’t
change. It’s all in the mind.
It can be too much pressure
onto the person you
want to be.
I always question,
Could I handle the pressure?
Could have I made the time?
Could I make it in this world
of storms and threats?
My dream’s the same.
I am helping others, but
is that the way I want to help?
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 16, 2018 at 7:11 PM UTC
The darkness consumes your
heart
when life gets
tough.
A dark, cloudy sky
can cover
the twinkling
lights.
Can't see through
to the light.
The feeling like
a piece a garbage
no one cares about,
The feeling of attempt
to get the lazy self out of
bed because lazy holds on to
the tiredness and weakness,
The impending thoughts
attacking the mind;
the you’re not good enough’s
and nobody wants you’s
pile on to the trash
that’s already there
make the cloud’s
haze grow thicker
and thicker.
One day
The murkiness will
lift
And
The garbage,
The attacking thoughts,
The gripping weakness,
GONE.
Glaring up
at the night sky,
everything becomes
Clear.
Glaring up
at that sky
the little specks
of light peering through
the darkness,
barely illuminating
the path ahead.
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 16, 2018 at 7:10 PM UTC
Today, one year from last, the weather’s the same.
Balmy, warm breeze.
Burnt orange and sunflower yellow tousle on
on the fading green.
An Indian summer once again on this Monday.
How crazy is that?
The weather and day may be similar,
but not the event that took place,
one year ago.
Beaten into submission by my emotions, they take control.
I fall out of my bed to face this discussion. I have no idea
where it would take me or even the outcome but the reign
of my emotions was hollowing out a hole, deep within. A hole
I would eventually get ****** into.
With the same burnt orange and yellow tousling around,
all the emotions pour out as he takes a seat in my Santa Fe.
He listens, he hugs, he cares.
He has to go, having five minutes to spare.
“Bye,” he says with care.
“Bye,” I repeat.
I watch him step out into the balmy air.
The emotions widen the hole,
for all my sorrows,
pain and
emptiness.
They trickle themselves in
to the bottomless pit.
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 16, 2018 at 7:09 PM UTC
Soft, pale elbows
pile on top of each other,
like toys in a claw machine.
Elbows are showered
in a mixture of
milk, butter and
sharp cheddar.
A blanket of colby jack
acts as the elbow’s protector,
making the claw above
invisible.
A shadow approaches
the elbows, ready to
seize them.
The prongs scoop the elbows up,
And start to raise them
high above, dripping off
the excess.
The claw got
the ultimate prize.
A creamy prongful of
elbows and sauce.
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 16, 2018 at 7:08 PM UTC
Age is just a number it does not have rhyme or reason just a number determined by what year a person was born minus what year it is now.
Age has no boundaries no limits. People mature at their own pace. Heartbreaks death moving anything plays a role in who a person is. What one may learn along the way, life lessons, facts, opinions, may advance or slow progress in themselves.
Ourselves.
Age means nothing. I am twenty four and I feel nothing years old. Nothing defines age. Age shouldn’t outline what you can and cannot do.
Age is freeing. Let the nothing define you.
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 16, 2018 at 7:07 PM UTC
the list keeps growing it never ends once one item gets checked off three more are added on at this point I wanna drive away rip up the list and start anew maybe in the mountains somewhere skyscraper evergreen pines massive mountains with their tiny, white covered tops weaved into the horizon silence is the only voice and calm fills my body sitting on a patio side by side with the one person that means the most to me overlooking the view the ultimate dream where the list doesn’t exist only
serenity
me
And
love
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 16, 2018 at 7:07 PM UTC
When the music
rises up through
the cords to the
earbuds, encased
in my ears, with
the bass tingles
From my head
to my toes.
My head falls back
I close my eyes
And remember a time,
when Blurry flowed through
my Santa Fe’s speakers.
Driving on Highway 151
through empty fields,
slightly turning to
their harvest color.
The sun shimmers on
the blacktop.
Its haze blurs the road
but the memory is clear.
Driving through the gold
Feeling rich as ever.
Take me back to the days
when the winding roads
are surrounded by gold.
Every time my earbuds
are tucked in my ears,
the music radiates out of my chest,
goosebumps forming.
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 16, 2018 at 7:05 PM UTC
latches on
to your mind
******* on the uniqueness,
iconic-ness,
spontaneous actions,
of who You are.
Having a Storm Trooper
as your companion
For a six hour drive,
Lighting a bowl
in a middle of a *** &
Go carwash,
Being my bright ball of
light, when I
needed it.
The parasite latches onto
that happiness,
laughter, and
soul of yours.
Spits all of it
onto the floor,
letting it evaporate
in the air.
That little parasite
clinging on to
your mind
haunts You.
You’ve taken
medications,
shook your head,
and dreamt.
But the parasite’s will
is greater than your
mind.
You can’t see
who You truly are
any longer
but I can.
You’re
Strong
Stronger than anyone
I’ve seen.
You’re
Brave.
You could’ve ended
It all. But You
didn’t.
So, You know what?
You’ll get rid
Of that parasite
And live the life
You were meant to
live.
I hope You do.
Because
You
deserve it.
Always.
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 16, 2018 at 7:04 PM UTC
I'm sorry
you feel broken.
I'm sorry
you feel bruised.
I encourage you
to forgive. But that
depends if you
are willing to
decipher your
darkened soul.
You see the world
as how it HAS
treated you.
Internalizing
such suffering; the
trauma consumes
your soul.
Are you willing
to forgive? Forgive
mother & father, who
coerced you into
a 4-year?
mother & father
who neglected to give
you the strength,
to overcome the scars
on your legs, arms?
mother & father
refused to see
that you wanted to voice
your future?
mother & father
struggled to understand
your input about college,
how you did not envision
a future in this life.
mother & father
sprung their divorce
on you, neglecting to
explain how will their decision
affect you, affect
your vision of the world?
mother & father
neglected to
coach you in this
strange, challenging
world.
mother & father
never disclosed that your
voice defines your sense of self.
mother & father
never granted
permission for you
to discover your
hopes,
dreams.
mother & father
embedded many thoughts, to
which has created
a non-believer out of
you.
mother & father
coerced you
to attend a birthday party,
which you
begged,
screamed,
cried,
refusing to go.
I am mesmerized
how your pain,
suffering, devours
your soul.
Leaving you hollow.
Leaving you narrow-minded.
I understand the
most important human
is yourself.
I know you, deeply,
passionately
love me. With all your
heart.
But my questions
to you are:
Have you taken the time
to understand my thoughts?
My feelings? My neglect?
My love to you?
But I'm struggling to grasp
that you refuse me
to glance into the
raw, blackness of your
soul.
I am not afraid,
fragile,
scared,
alarmed, as to
what you illustrate
to me.
I want you to
give me the chance
to understand;
not judge,
not criticize.
Your pain,
Your suffering,
doesn't define you.
You, yourself
define how you
feel,
think,
see,
the world.
Trauma shouldn't defeat you.
Your resilience should,
empowering your soul.
Not your mother,
Not your father,
Not myself.
You define the power within
You.
I would like you to
believe in
yourself. But that
depends on what
you feel deep within.
I don't want
mother & father, the
coercion, neglect,
to allow you to feel
powerless. I wish you to
forgive your detrimental
past.
Because I know,
I believe,
You have the will,
might, strength,
resilience,
to change it. To what
You deserve.
Truly
deserve.
I love you.
With all my heart.
Always.
Dec 15, 2018
Dec 15, 2018 at 11:08 AM UTC