I try and try
to change my
inevitable doom;
but it's all
for naught.
I try and try
to keep loving,
but the passion
soon leaves and
I'm left loveless.
I try, I swear, I try,
to hold onto my love,
but soon I find myself
growing bored of them.
I've gone through a lot
of them: the good, the sweet,
the bad, the funny, the shy,
the smart - many!
But soon I find myself
growing so, so bored
of them. I never cheat,
never flirt, never do
anything bad that could
break the relationship.
But then there's the catch -
be the good girl, but in return,
become unloving; never
fall in love, no matter how
hard you try to love.
I try, I honestly do,
but when I'm in a
relationship, a month or
so later, I find myself
bored and frustrated with
the poor victim.
I'm just a heartbreaker who
kills her victims on the inside.
I don't mean to, but I do.
I just can't love.
Why,
Why am I so loveless?
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 4:29 PM UTC
Love is but the **** of two minds, yet what is joy?
Joy is but the slaughter of pain which is the reality
Life and death remain the duality but the contraction and the most real delusion all shall know
beyond logic is chaos but chaos is simply defused logic
Stare aimlessly into the nothing that is you and the nothing that is I
We are both the same person I am to you as you are to I
He is to she what she is to he
Our concepts are but smoke in the wind and signify nothing
Bloodshed is our purest form of expression a brutal honesty which is the only real part of our nature
but what is artifical?
The art of ignorance is the most difficult course to master taking generations to achieve
Intellect is the pillow that smothers you as a new born baby in your crib
All who want you hate you and all that Hate you love you with all the kindness in the world
Your weak and made to be destroyed but that is the greatest mercy all shall know
Decay further into nothing your true state and put behind the delusion of all that is knoweldge
You are nothing as am I
Nothing is everything even the flicker of a dying flame carried upon angels wings
A lucky bullet strikes the world at exactly midnight and all that is will be no more but a lingering shadow in a universe that doesn't exist
Every second that passes until the fatal blow is an eternity in the eyes of us mortals
What is mankind but a collection of bactieria inside of an amphibians pupil
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 4:28 PM UTC
i lost my virginity to a guy who didn't care
i lost my virginity to a guy who was never there
i lost my virginity in a way that's never great
i was, i am the "other woman"
i was, i am the one that doesn't matter
i was, i am just a body to ****
it never matter how long it took
it just had to make his body shake
oh baby that feels great
it wasn't like he cared if i got off fair
just as long as i was there
still to this day, i **** him
i don't know why, but i do
and i hate myself for sticking around
but i guess it's because i have that craving
of using him
just for his body too.
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 4:24 PM UTC
I've been up for a while,
my pill wore off around quarter till you.
And I stayed up until the time changed to half past
your morning stretch.
But then I fell asleep for a little bit and the last thing I saw
was your bright eyes shinning into my bedroom.
I'm up again and I'm not
sure what the time currently is,
but I know that I've lost you.
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 4:20 PM UTC
A love lost from my heart tears dehydrated
My chin loose from quivering as i weep into my blanket
with no love No hope and no reason to continue
I weep
as tears stream down i remember how life
Was so simple and easy as a child
With no worries other than ** wto please mommy
I miss the times when i did not know hate
Death hunger misery sorrow and love
I miss the times when tears didnt stream down
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 4:19 PM UTC
Must I remember?
The scent of your hair
The shampoo's we share
Life is so unfair
Must I remember?
For the couple shirts we bought
It's embarassing,
we first thought
But we wore it everyday,
for the sake of our plot
Must I remember?
Those seductive eyes?
It got me mesmerized
Like the morning sunrise
Must I remember?
This unskippable beat?
As we rode the street
With your lips on my cheek
Must I remember?
As we walk by the shore
It tickles my core
For the "I Love You" that you swore
Must I remember?
For the dreams that we share?
In the meadows we stare
When you embrace me, I can tell
Must I remember?
When I took the toll?
My tears began to fall
For you are my wall
Must I remember?
The moment you say yes?
For the love I express
I was heavily blessed
Must I remember?
The day you said Goodnight?
As you began your flight
An unforgettable sight
Must I remember it all?
As I stand by your grave?
You wanted me to be brave
But I'm forever a slave
To our love which we engrave
Must I forget you then?
Theses memories, are they a burden?
With you now gone, It's all a sudden
What about these wedding ring?
I cry eveytime I sing,
Your favorite melody
It feeds my anxiety
Now I look upon the sky
I can never comply
As I invoke my tragic loss
For the Love Without Us
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 4:18 PM UTC
Lend me your eyes.
So I could fill them
with the bursting stars.
Telling tales of the spellbinding universe,
singing songs of exploding suns...
and of splintering quasars.
Lend me your thoughts.
So that if I may,
write of them.
Fantastical scribbles of love
and praise.
Meticulously lined
and carefully stitched...
with immaculate lace at the hems.
Lend me your breaths.
I'd catch them as they fall...
between the words you would say.
Merging mine with yours...
introducing colour...
and vigour
to my monochromatic world of
black, white and grey.
Lend me your heartbeats...
for mine thumps erratic.
As if beating in silent mock.
I depend on the steadiness in yours.
So they could usurp
the ticks of worldly clocks.
Lend me your hands.
Palms up as a sign,
perhaps as an invitation...
for me to take them.
And maybe...
hopefully fill them...
with mine...
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 4:17 PM UTC
monday @ 2.30 a.m
my eyes are bloodshot and my words are slurred.
tuesday @ 4.50 p.m
do you remember how our bodies used to fit whenever we slept?
wednesday @ 8.00 p.m
I was so close to calling you, but the thought of actually having to tell you how I feel terrifies the **** outta me.
thursday @ 12.37 a.m
you just texted me back and I don't know the words to say to make you stay.
friday @ 11.05 p.m
i could've seen you tonight but instead im sitting in bed crying over the stupid things you once said.
saturday @ 1:25 p.m
i think it's time i forgot you...
sunday @ 6:37 a.m
i can't forget you...no matter what i do. i can't my mind off of you. it's sad, but true
Jul 29, 2015
Jul 29, 2015 at 5:07 PM UTC
You've done it again // made me feel like this was the // beginning // when really it was just the // end // I've done it again // cried // over the things that youve said // that are constantly breaking my heart
Jul 29, 2015
Jul 29, 2015 at 5:04 PM UTC
that it hurt when you cried,
and it hurt when you lied.
it hurt to see you hurt yourself,
and it hurt to hurt myself...
and then i remembered that it hurt...
that it hurt when you left,
and that it hurt when we were both depressed
it hurt that you always felt compressed
and it hurt that i suppressed my feeling when it came to you
whenever i think of you, i remember that it hurt.
Mar 26, 2015
Mar 26, 2015 at 8:42 AM UTC