lalalawanderer - Hello Poetry

he doesn’t text me and i feel chills over my body— it isn’t the ceiling fan it’s what he said. but i’m upset that i was not there and that he doesn’t mention me to anyone else.

0

Aug 17, 2020

Aug 17, 2020 at 1:30 AM UTC

lalalawanderer

closed doors or locked phones

he doesn’t text me and i feel chills over my body— it isn’t the ceiling fan it’s what he said. but i’m upset that i was not there and that he doesn’t mention me to anyone else.

8

i hear you in my mind all the time you don’t say anything but i can hear you in there shuffling around papers putting away groceries hanging up the laundry changing the sheets on the bed i never hear you say a single word but i still know it’s you because who else could it be? who else could or even would make a home of my mind?

0

Aug 16, 2020

Aug 16, 2020 at 10:27 PM UTC

lalalawanderer

shacking up

i hear you in my mind all the time you don’t say anything but i can hear you in there shuffling around papers putting away groceries hanging up the laundry changing the sheets on the bed i never hear you say a single word but i still know it’s you because who else could it be? who else could or even would make a home of my mind?

12

there is nothing to love about my inability to not forget destroying notes— the notes i would have left you painting my tears onto shoe boxes— i cannot bring to mind the last time i had not seen them it’s all the things you’d done to me it’s all the scars you’d left behind they plague me, body and soul there is nothing to love about my inability to remember but by God’s “good grace” i’ve forgotten your voice, perhaps He thought it was His way of “helping” but how is it “helping” if i am just ending up with more pain i cannot put a voice behind the pain behind the hurt i have no voice to blame at night when i cannot sleep when i cannot forget

0

Aug 14, 2020

Aug 14, 2020 at 9:29 PM UTC

lalalawanderer

an attack on my memory

there is nothing to love about my inability to not forget destroying notes— the notes i would have left you painting my tears onto shoe boxes— i cannot bring to mind the last time i had not seen them it’s all the things you’d done to me it’s all the scars you’d left behind they plague me, body and soul there is nothing to love about my inability to remember but by God’s “good grace” i’ve forgotten your voice, perhaps He thought it was His way of “helping” but how is it “helping” if i am just ending up with more pain i cannot put a voice behind the pain behind the hurt i have no voice to blame at night when i cannot sleep when i cannot forget

18

i’m really trying to be happy for you but it’s not working. i want you to be happy, but i think that your happiness is my unhappiness. your happiness is other people, is love, is dunkin’ donuts addiction, is her, is not me. i just feel burnt orange, feel lack of oxygen, feel torn apart, feel rough edges and soft hair, feel ripping out fingernails, feel blood on my hands, feel messed up inside. i’m making a playlist for you, but i’m talking to another guy while i do it. i don’t want to hurt him. will i ever get over you?

0

Aug 13, 2020

Aug 13, 2020 at 11:24 AM UTC

lalalawanderer

maybe one day, in the distant future

i’m really trying to be happy for you but it’s not working. i want you to be happy, but i think that your happiness is my unhappiness. your happiness is other people, is love, is dunkin’ donuts addiction, is her, is not me. i just feel burnt orange, feel lack of oxygen, feel torn apart, feel rough edges and soft hair, feel ripping out fingernails, feel blood on my hands, feel messed up inside. i’m making a playlist for you, but i’m talking to another guy while i do it. i don’t want to hurt him. will i ever get over you?

4