why is it that i think i can write when i'm drunk
it's one thing to escape our world,
but it's another to escape my own.
Jul 25, 2018
Jul 25, 2018 at 4:20 AM UTC
i liken my growth to the succulents in my garden
sometimes, they struggle to keep up and their leaves shrivel and rot
in the spring, they spill out of their pots
tumbling from the rim in bountiful stems
and every year or so, one may die from mistreatment
overwatered
not enough sun
overcrowded soil
and the next day, the eldest plant blooms
Apr 22, 2018
Apr 22, 2018 at 12:38 AM UTC
anyways
i called my psychiatrist today to switch
i am growing tired of throwing money at someone who swallows my coins and fails to help me sort through my problems
i was told they'd call me back within two business days
i wait and put my mood swing on hold
knowing i'll cover it all up when they call
Apr 18, 2018
Apr 18, 2018 at 4:45 PM UTC
i will write all today until i am squeezed of all deterioration
i hope to grow as well as my propagation
when in fact, i am rotting from inside and out
chiseling away at the decay religiously in every word i speak
will i ever be enough for myself?
Apr 18, 2018
Apr 18, 2018 at 4:39 PM UTC
a whirlwind of back and forth
deep regret for not existing like i should
i wonder if all days will be filled like this
crippling thoughts that pick at the brain
wondering if anything i produce will be good enough
enough to coax my ego
and fill the belly of success
enough that i can stop doubting my every move
will it end?
Apr 18, 2018
Apr 18, 2018 at 4:37 PM UTC
i sit here in my ****** chair
in my ****** life
wallowing in my ****** decisions
i wonder when my brain will allow itself autonomy
as i continue to choke myself with my own ********
Apr 18, 2018
Apr 18, 2018 at 4:34 PM UTC
swear to god, ************
i'll drop kick your ***
come an inch closer
try me
if i can smell the *****
pouring out of your plaque infested mouth
i'll break every tooth in your jaw
with one swing
Dec 7, 2017
Dec 7, 2017 at 2:55 PM UTC
how easily i've let being damaged
swallow
my entire existence
i've known nothing more than half committed partners
and my mother's dead relationship
how terrifying being healthy becomes
Nov 29, 2017
Nov 29, 2017 at 5:07 AM UTC
i have watched my best friend turn on to me
a friend, who was barely a friend at all
a friend, who enabled my addictions
a friend, who only half listened
before it soured, i seized the reins
and like a teacup chihuahua behind a fence
he jabbered
he screetched
and now, my toxic friend
you're leaving
i can barely face you,
not because you scare me
but because you fill me with disgust
i am so glad i didn't not become you.
Nov 28, 2017
Nov 28, 2017 at 4:17 PM UTC
you cannot give into your
********
you need to get up
right now
and do everything you said you were going
to do
what happened, lina?
what happened to the spark you had
last night?
why are you so lazy
today?
oh no lina, you cannot run away from your
responsibilities
and prior committments
this is your fault for piling
everything on
your shoulders
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 1:38 PM UTC