you told me it would be okay
that didn’t make me want to stay
you placed yourself in between my legs
and i remember trying to beg
but you looked me in the eye
and told me no one would believe a lie
after my limbs were weak
and i could barely speak
you took every piece of me
even though it wasn’t even yours to keep
Jun 25, 2018
Jun 25, 2018 at 4:14 PM UTC
your eyes seem to change colors
and seem to be deeper than the ocean
you have different laughs but my
favorite is the short and breathless one
you know i can’t stand country music
yet you blast it through your speakers
your family has dinner together every
single night like the ones in the movies
you always say, “yeah, um” or “the uh”
when you’re thinking of what to say
you workout every day for hours
shaping your body into perfection
you seem like a mama’s boy
always trying to please and talk to her
you love animals but
still eat your meat
your mom is always gone traveling
and you pretend that you’re not sad
you work hard for the grades you have
but the pressure makes you feel worse
your considering the army but
can’t decide if it’s worth the time
your hands are always rough when
you touch me but it just means hard work
you always look at me like i’m the
only one you are able to see
every time we see each other
i notice more stops on your
roadmap and i travel every
time we laugh, cry, smile
and i think it’ll be an endless vacation
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 11:54 AM UTC
lately i’ve been picturing real love
the love where you fall to the ground laughing because it hurts
but also you crumble to the ground because the pain is overbearing of seeing him laugh with someone else
the love where we stay on the phone until the sun peeks its head out
the love where i watch you laugh with your friends from a distance
the love that fights that distance
the love that fills all the voids from the previous ones
u
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 11:33 AM UTC
one pill will put her to sleep
three pills will you into deep sleep
five pills will put you into very very deep sleep
twelve pills will put her in the hospital
seventeen will put her in the morgue
she decides on seventeen because sleep was her original goal and all she wants is to sleep
forever
Oct 30, 2017
Oct 30, 2017 at 8:01 PM UTC
and that’s when it hit me, like a bullet shooting straight through my skull.
the eyes i once thought had endless depth in them hold nothing but lust as we make eye contact for the first time.
you never loved me
you loved my body
and that i let you lay between my legs
i rip away from you, anger taking over my whole being.
“get out.”
Oct 10, 2017
Oct 10, 2017 at 3:15 PM UTC
“no,” i beg, latching onto your arm, “please, don’t go.”
you don’t even look at me. this was your fault, and you’re doing, yet i’m begging for you to stay with me.
“i can’t,” you whisper, wiping a tear from my face as you stare at my swollen lips.
“can’t what?” i ask.
“i can’t love you anymore.”
“yes, you can. why wouldn’t you be able to?” i ask, panicked. i try to meet your eyes but you won’t stop staring at my lips. your hands trail down my back and squeeze my hips.
“no, i just don’t love you anymore.”
Oct 9, 2017
Oct 9, 2017 at 8:38 PM UTC
you come back now, asking why i’m so different. i could answer with over a million reasons but we both know there’s only one.
you sit there, acting like it wasn’t your fault. you took my heart, my mind, and my soul with you that day you left. do you remember that day?
now you sit here, heartless, telling me, “you’ve changed.”
you’re pathetic, i want to whisper. instead i shake my head with a playful smile on my lips.
“i don’t know. i suppose time.”
Oct 9, 2017
Oct 9, 2017 at 8:29 PM UTC
am i a bad person for thinking
i’m not in love with you?
you love me to the ends of
the earth but i see it now
the pain was too much for
me to handle in the summer
the lies were breaking me
to the dust i’m made of
i want to love you but
how do i love someone
you’ve made it seem like
every love has to hurt
are you a bad person?
Oct 1, 2017
Oct 1, 2017 at 7:29 PM UTC
i see things
they lurk around the corner
waiting for me to ruin myself
in the limelight of eyes
i hear things
that whisper as i try to think
they try to make me do things
i don’t want to do
i feel things
urges to do something bad
something my mother wouldn’t approve
but then i remind myself
she was the one who put them there.
Oct 1, 2017
Oct 1, 2017 at 7:23 PM UTC
i’m sick of it
i’m sick of the pain
i’m sick of waiting
i’m sick of sacrificing
i’m sick of the crying
i’m sick of the lies
i’m sick of your friends
i’m sick of your behavior
i’m sick of it all
the pain is for your satisfaction
the waiting is the patience my mother taught me
the crying is the tears of anger
the lying is for you to get away
the friends influence our relationship
the drugs and alcohol ruin us
the sickness is the end.
Sep 29, 2017
Sep 29, 2017 at 11:08 PM UTC