i never thought i would ever reach this age
but life is always like this, almost like a cage
you try to find a way out, a path of escape
my thoughts don't move enough or take shape
i only live this life sick of all this landscape
i don't sleep very often nor do i find peace
my entire life all i want is to find some release
i realized though you only find that when you are deceased
but you live life like an apartment with a lease
so even with the pain you feel there is a masterpiece
so i want to go somewhere, another place
somewhere, some place where there is no race
where i don't have to be ashamed about the emotions on my face
where i can life and know i can follow my pace
where i don't have to be a mess, i can be the epitome of grace
i stand high in the heights, looming over the sky
i don't even notice i have no voice to shout or cry
but this problem can't be solved by anything i buy
i'm tired of trying to accomodate and modify
i'm ready, so i stretch my arms as if i want to fly
i'm going some place else now, goodbye
Apr 10, 2020
Apr 10, 2020 at 6:01 AM UTC
in the corner of my disastrous mind
i can always seem to go on and find
all the things that i have wanted defined
in the corner, i see the beauty in my mind
there are things i've wanted, i kept left behind
now i wonder all about my state of sorry mind
i used to only wonder about the blue sky
i used to think how to reach, it was so high
thought how it was to be free, to be able to fly
a chance for me to reach the peak, to defy
all the logic, rules of nature to be a butterfly
but that time's long gone, now i say goodbye
to my forlorn dreams of summer and spring
to the things i once filled my joy, everything
there is no use to stay around here and cling
to the colorful yesterday, future in full swing
do not remember the flowers that did sing
in the corner of my mind, i still see
the uncorrupted youth that was me
there were no troubles in the sea
in the shores calm space to be free
the illusion has cracked, here reality
sets in, no place left here to flee
in the corner of my mind, there is me
as i grew, sick reality is all i've known
i turned to art, to music but felt alone
poured my heart and soul, all i own
the shadows grew, my heart into stone
i can never outrun all of this the unknown
i felt corrupted, removed from my throne
i remember how much i cried that night
i told you that i am so tired of this fight
told me i was wrong, that you were right
that my dream was too far out of sight
i went outside and burned it with light
all the innocence was gone overnight
i cried and shouted if this was alright
to burn everything that was in my sight
but at the time i had to give up that fight
the miserable cold clung to me with spite
it took a while the future has taken its flight
I still watched as my past was set alight
in the corner of my mind, i still see
the uncorrupted youth that was me
there were no troubles in the sea
in the shores calm space to be free
the illusion has cracked, here reality
sets in, no place left here to flee
in the corner of my mind, there is me
we reunited again and then i was in love
everything felt right to me, fit like a glove
over and over, you healed me, kind of
i am a stranger to myself, just a someone
but with you i felt like i could shove
all the shadows in the name of your love
i don't ever want to let you go, so stay
let me have you in my life until i'm grey
every dawn where the stars turn to day
we could celebrate any and every holiday
i would do anything, find it all anyway
cause if you do, then i might be okay
i know that dark times will always come
but with both you and i we can overcome
we can be both numb but never succumb
there will be more memories, we live for them
we still have a life to share, roots full of stem
i have no idea what i'll be what i'll become
so still stay, give me the chance to grow more
let me live day to day to know what i live for
understand life to the very edge of its core
we have so much more to know and explore
so just sit beside me and watch the rain pour
let us live in peace and not leave or part anymore
in the corner of my mind, i still see
the uncorrupted youth that was me
there were no troubles in the sea
in the shores calm space to be free
the illusion has cracked, here reality
sets in, no place left here to flee
in the corner of my mind, there is me
so long as i have you by my side i won't flee
so long as i have you in the corner, i will see
a brighter future, such beautiful glamorous glee
as long as you are in the corner with me
i think we can overcome conquer all in reality
in the corner of my mind, i smile what i see
sit beside you, this is where we are meant to be
Apr 6, 2020
Apr 6, 2020 at 2:08 PM UTC
i always thought freedom looked like this
with all flowers blossoming, scattered petals
freely flowing through the ripe golden fields
all my days were bright and welcoming sights
the laughter and beauty was all we see in our eyes
the sweet blessings gifted by the sunrise
we were lucky in sunset, we never realize
there is a place where there is no sunrise
a place where they all say the darkness will rise
with many sweet temptations, with a sweet demise
i remember the moment our eyes met, i know
i suddenly knew i will begin to reap what i had sow
you came to me and asked me so wonderfully slow
you said up here is boring, its not like downlow
i fell for your devilish smile, i fell into your world
then you said to me join me in the underworld
you were so mesmerizing, dazzling and new
never set my eyes before on someone like you
you were the excitement i've been wanting, i knew
because i have been locked in a cage, that we both knew
you know i wanted to see something that was true
cause i've been hidden from all of it, unlike you
and so it didn't matter who you were to everyone else
you seem intriguing to me by just being yourself
you were able to enchant me, stole my heart in a theft
i know we have just met and i should have just left
but no one would leave someone as interesting as yourself
and so i let temptation tempt me, i let me play with the rules
i pretended to be unhappy, but i was enjoying all the jewels
i kept myself calm, i knew i had to play it cool
but i knew i was the one playing it all like a fool
cause i see it in your dark eyes, you already knew
that i would want something else, i didn't want the old days
those had already bored me enough, even if i won't say
i want an adventure, i want to feel a zest for life
i want to know excitement, i want to know about strife
perhaps you can teach me all of it, if i stay here and be a part of your life
but she won't let me, she will not let me be here and stay
cause she does not understand that i don't want to keep living that way
and so i think and i think and then i found another way
but it was dangerous and uncertain, there is a price to pay
then again in the end i ate it, i don't care about what they say
cause sometimes the darkness is greater than the light
sometimes people don't see it because of fright
but there shouldn't be fear to feel because of the unknown
in fact, its more exciting than knowing what is set in stone
cause then you'll live your life appreciating the way before its known
she screams in anguish and she screams in horror of what i have done
but i want to live my life, what is done is already done
i want to be free, i want to be able to live my life
for my sake
you think its the best path but its not what i want to take
so whatever happens in my life, the path will be mine to make
and so he finally speaks and tells me i can do what i want
i can stay with him and not have to worry about her wants
it felt like the weigh of the world came rushing out
cause sacrifices made for joy are never ought for naught
i am finally free to be myself, i can be with him in the underworld
i rip off the colors from me, i stand there and feel excitement
you stand there loving my smile, its your entertainment
you said my eyes were suited to the silk of the pigment
i like it just as much as you do, that's why we are always consistent
because you and i are both sure this is our best commitment
and so i gleam in beauty, down to the fabrics and the jewelry
people are astounded and surprised, they thought it was sorcery
but even the king of the undeworld needs a woman by his side
after all like the seas, the direction changes with the tide
we both sit side by side, we are one together nothing to hide
you should go down on your knees and bow down to me
you should be grateful to be lucky enough to have eyes to see
the majesty of both of us together in this scene
so go on and get down to bow to us, on your knees
i am the queen of the underworld, your one and only persephone
Apr 6, 2020
Apr 6, 2020 at 2:05 PM UTC
i don't even remember the last time i thought of loving you purely
i don't even remember the last time i wanted to be in a room with you but surely
its not going to be the last time where i don't want to be near you
nor is it ever the last time i wanted to peak at you at a full view
you make me sick to my stomach, my very essence and my bones
nor the last time i want to not listen to your excessive yapping, put on my headphones
you question why i don't ever want to go and be at your home
but i don't ever want to make a church filled with lies, the best of them forms a dome
but why would i go home when i don't even feel like i have one
because every time we see each other all my instincts tell me to run
because i don't feel like i can be myself when you stay around
what the point in living my life if i'l just be forced to be your clown
oh sure you think you are superior because the almighty gave you the right
but that's not the truth because victors always makes a point to out write
to exaggerate their superiority because they won one fight
society makes hierarchies so overrated, it just gets so boring
your blatant anger just makes me laugh, cause you just keep on roaring
about how i bring nothing worth of note, honestly that just has me snoring
but who between us has degraded me, beaten me and that name
spare me your philosophies, you don't the things those things you claim
you consider me a hypocrite but aren't you just the same
honestly it is just such too much, a **** honest shame
at least i admit to myself when i am wrong, accepted that i have ill fame
but i at least have the audacity to have a head full of shame
i wonder how the hell are we connected to each other in this life
did i do something so terrible back then that i have to live with this strife?
you ignore my struggles, you would tell me that your life was hard
but to compare my hardships to your, its as if you claim to disregard
that we don't live the same life, i didn't have what you had that time
you never get tired of telling me that, you just have to win arguments everytime
this is why i don't like coming home, everything feels perverse
you raise your voice at any time, each and every sound released as a curse
if it wasn't for the things we share together, there would be nothing to coerce
me to come and see you and try to avoid conflict, change every verse
of everything i say and feel when i'm around you, i rehearse
because i don't want to let me have a headache or make everything worse
i still remember the crushing pain of every touch, every word and every mark
all because i moved or acted and spoke in a way that seemed like a bark
but is it wrong for me to want to defend myself, let alone say a remark
all i ever wanted was for you to understand my side of the story
but all you see is the threats i pose for speaking out like its defamatory
but apparently you don't care because sole control to you is mandatory
i keep looking at the days when i knew i loved you beyond reason
but all you know is to put me down like some common prisoner in trial for treason
i just wanna escape your depravity, i want to change the seasons
because i already know myself that i already have too many reasons
time is always ticking in an hourglass, i have no more time for games and for silly treasons
i'm so tired of this ride we are in, we only keep spinning round and round
i just wanna leave this all behind, stop my tears from falling and my lips from making a sound
you and i both know that this is the way it ends, both of us will go down
its already on fire and we watch us burn, this silly game will become our burial mound
i'm letting go i'm going away, i don't care if you stay behind and drown
burn in the fires you have made yourself, suffer by yourself in your little playground
i don't want to keep living life as if its just spinning continously in a blur
the life i want is the life where i can live freely, where i can be what i prefer
where my choices are the ones blooming, choices that i concur
so i'll stop watching you tear yourself into pieces, i'll walk away
i'll forget all traces of you, clear the space you occupy without delay
i'll start living my life remembering this beautiful epiphany starting today
Apr 6, 2020
Apr 6, 2020 at 2:02 PM UTC