One day, maybe someday soon,
Youll see my picture hangin up on the wall, and pitch a smile across your glistening cheeks.
Tattoos and memories play through your mind, tell tale stories ringing in your ears while the guests laugh and play.
I could be done in my wooden room and let me sleep, lay beside me the things i always wanted to keep.
Or placed on hold, a waiting room of flesh and blood, keep me there for a full moons pass is all i ask.
Serve only gods greatest gift of whiskey and beer, except keep the bar stools away.
I loved those old tombstones, hidden underneath the trees, keeps the ones holding on dry in the rain.
Being loud sounds fun, let the drums play on and the shots ring out, 21 they say is the lucky number to bet on.
I always showed respect, and those shall follow suit, be joyous and happy and thats all thats due.
Take the flag off my chest, and fly it high even after ive been put to rest.
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 1:46 PM UTC
We were lovers caught by the seatbelt in the backseat
While everyone else slept in their sheets.
Midnight adventures of foggy mirrors and tainted tongues.
We could dance in eachother for as long as we wanted.
Crickets squeek in our prescence
While we try our best not to answer with our own squeeks.
I held you closer, in the backseat of the compact,
Then i ever did in the queen sized bed.
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 1:39 PM UTC
Starring at your dress, hand picked by your green and brown eyes, I couldn't look away as soon as they aligned with mine.
Talking with nervous breath, spoken by your quivering pink lips,
I couldn't stop listening as soon as i heard your voice.
Red cheeks as cherries, glowing in the Christmas lights in october,
I couldn't make then go away, as long as I was next to you.
Body heating to steam, as you pressed against me.
I couldn't cool off as long as you were touching me.
I couldn't let go, I couldn't forget, I couldn't stop knowing, I couldn't stop as soon as I started all those years ago.
Love.
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 9:51 PM UTC
He had a lysterene breath, and a shadow across his face.
I could feel his calased hands grab around me. Even reached for my hand and held it.
Thats when the feeling of metal strikes me,
And it sent a message down my spine.
"A few hits of this will wake you up" he says.
He shoves a bottle into my nose while lightly grabbing the back of head and getting a few pinches full of hair.
I inhale wanting to sniff it.
A chemical smell at first. One that ive smelled before.
A slight shock widens my eyes and everything was heated.
My head became woosy.
My knees shaking. Sweat beading down my brow and slowly trickling down the sides of my face.
I didn't want to feel anymore
I ******* myself this wheel,
And buried my sorrows with the Ashes.
It was dark.
I could barely see the outlines of my own arms.
In a heated room with bent knees and curled toes.
I looked down and i could see my clothes.
Just barely, but i saw them.
I wore alot of grey. It blended in almost so well with the night.
Made me feel, hidden in a sort of way.
On the ride home i felt a burnt tongue.
Sweat still on my arms from my encounter.
All i wanted was a shower then. I wanted to be stripped of my moppy clothes and thrown away. I wanted my body to be scrubbed away of my awful deeds of the night.
To think later that it was only a dream crossed my mind alot.
How pleasant that would have been.
I wanted a fantasy to take me away to the beaches of my home city, to bathe in the fresh open moonlight, casting its dark shadows for those with wanderlust.
I wanted to be manhandled. To be felt like i was being taken care of. To be shown how its done.
But when i got there, it only scarred me.
To be glad it was just a dream is a luxury. To only have it be a nightmare. Being touched by an older man whom you thought you could trust. To be treated by force.
The noise of silence beating in my ears roars through my mind.
It was deafening.
But those words of flattery only shatter the roar.
To be said so softly.
And everything change.
Ears perking. Brow squinting. And teeth grinding.
Maybe it was just a dream. I want to think that.
Forever.
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 10:44 PM UTC
Im clean yet *****
White fur yet ***** paws
Ashes
The world became a dream
Thoughts were too loud
No need to shed a tear
Ill cry on my own in fear
Thoughts became to loud
Didn’t now I could be in a cloud
I wanted to feel the heart in my chest
Brain locked up in its own death,
No time to rest
Time cries away its seconds and the days slow down to a creep
Years go up
I don’t wanna be
The man I was supposed to be.
I am guilty, of being me
Cant you see?
Im locked at my feet,
In a game that you cant cheat,
Whos supposed to win?
when its only versus us within?
Cut me loose from this chain,
I have it all there is to gain,
Oh this is inhumane,
I just want to give away all this pain.
Aug 22, 2014
Aug 22, 2014 at 8:25 PM UTC
Take me to where nobody knows me
And all I need is sunshine
Take me to a place where nobody gives a ****
And all I believe in is me
I can take the fire out
I can take away all the ideas
Far away from here
I can learn a thing or two
I can walk round on all fours
Closer to what’s home for me
Sing a song for myself
To just scream and shout
And walk all around town
Stare at the lights in the city
Closed minds in small towns
Open up and about
Aug 22, 2014
Aug 22, 2014 at 8:21 PM UTC
I had to watch you float away from my fingers.
Your name grew heavy on my heart, and dropped my jaw every time I whispered your name.
I could feel my eyes go out of focus, and I just stare blankly at any object nearby.
Time flew past me, the days grew long, but the months became quick memories that molded together making it feel like just yesterday it happened.
I knew I could never speak to you again, so I only spoke to you in my dreams.
You didn’t have to say anything though.
Just watching you stand there on the pier, with your white sundress that came to just above your knees was all I needed to see.
Are you still as pretty as I remember you? Or am I just mixing the fantasy of my perfect woman and your imperfections creating a whole different you.
I never knew anymore, time has passed and I have forgotten what it feels like to be truly loved by a woman.
Feeling her warmth, not just by heart, but to bed with you.
I even began to question was it even a woman I so yearned to bed with and feel loved, or to try and convince myself to bed with a fellow man, and only try to feel loved.
I didn’t care anymore.
I still stare blankly, now to a different view.
I stare into the blankness of my own mind, as if rolling back my eyes and looking into myself.
Its what I don’t see that scares me.
May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 6:54 PM UTC
I sat in that disturbingly dark room, with barely a wince of light shining through the thick curtains that were blue originally but now look dinged with yellow from the cigarette smoke.
Hearing the ***** and grungy guitaring with the out of tune and high pitched scratchy voice overbearing the whole thing sounded beautiful to me at the time.
I knew I was depressed at that very moment.
Even some sunny days have clouds that cast a shadow on the fields.
My fields though, were paved concrete that snake through everything.
I was in a relatively large city, heavily populated and concentrated in a small place.
It wasn’t anything like New York, or Atlanta or even Miami, but the thought of being in a big city excited me.
I would have rather be alone in a large city, than this mediocre town of old folk’s homes and schools for the growing children.
I was alone no matter what; I wanted to be alone sometimes.
To get out of the scorching sun and sit in the shade for a while calmed things down a bit.
I was so alone; I just wish I had someone to be alone with.
May 12, 2014
May 12, 2014 at 2:59 PM UTC
They say everyone has that one that got away,
The big fish.
I had always dreamed of my very own big catch.
It can be anything really though,
I for one don’t even like fishing.
But,
I still had my big fish, metaphorically speaking of course.
Its water that it taunted me with were cities I have never been to, and quite possibly never will be.
This big fish didn’t even know I was on the hunt for it.
I was but one of the thousands of fisherman looking for the same one.
It’s been caught before, many, many times.
But always released.
Never to be held on.
As quickly as it settles, it is gone again, to another city, another town and even another country.
Sometimes, I daydream about catching it.
I imagine the joy I would have and the biggest smile I have ever seen on my own face.
I would dance, and let all my troubles just float away if I caught it.
I have tried several times; through trial and error I kept learning new ways to catch it.
I studied its patterns and learned where its next location would be.
But I kept getting held back, told it was just a crazy dream.
They were right though.
A crazy dream indeed.
But a dream I had since I was just a boy.
I hated this fish in the beginning, thinking it was ugly and wasn’t worth my time.
But with my age growing, so did this desire towards it.
It drew me in.
The stories, the legends and even the photos lured me in.
I even thought, maybe it was luring me in.
Did it want to consume me?
…
Should I let it?
Should I forget all my prior engagements, my responsibilities, the tasks at hand that need to be done?
Should I just leave it all?
…..
What if,
What if I was disappointed?
That I wasn’t worth the fight and the struggle that had troubled me for so many years?
….
Who knows,
I know this though, that I have found my big fish,
And well maybe it was good enough to me, to have something to think about.
I guess I’ll just let it play out, that no matter what, fate will lead me to it,
To this big fish.
May 12, 2014
May 12, 2014 at 2:48 PM UTC
Send the call out,
Let all our boys hear the noise.
Theres gonna be a meet up,
So put on your jackets and bring your lights,
Were gonna run free through these streets.
Send out the message,
To all our girls,
Theres gonna be a party,
So put on your fine dresses and bring your things,
Were gonna feel alive through these streets.
We live in cities thatll never be named on the television,
It’s a ruin of our family dreams.
Apr 14, 2014
Apr 14, 2014 at 2:50 PM UTC