did you think of me
when you were with them?
did you think of me
when you kissed them?
did you think of me
when you touched them?
did you think of me
when you made love to them?
did i ever cross your mind?
were you ever actually mine?
did you ever actually love me?
did i ever actually have the key?
do you regret it?
was i worth it?
do you even miss me at all?
do you think of me
when you hold her hand?
do you think of me
when she speaks of band?
do you think of me when she smiles at you?
do you think of me
when she says, 'I love you'?
i may never know the answers to these,
but the one answer i have is when someone asks me,
"do you still love him?"
and all i know to say is, "sadly."
Jun 8, 2015
Jun 8, 2015 at 11:48 PM UTC
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea:
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
I and my ANNABEL LEE;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my ANNABEL LEE.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we—
Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE.
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes
Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
In her sepulchre there by the sea—
In her tomb by the side of the sea.
Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 4:26 PM UTC
I.
Hear the sledges with the bells—
Silver bells!
What a world of merriment their melody foretells!
How they ****** ****** ******
In their icy air of night!
While the stars, that oversprinkle
All the heavens, seem to twinkle
With a crystalline delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the tintinnabulation that so musically wells
From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells—
From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells.
II.
Hear the mellow wedding bells,
Golden bells!
What a world of happiness their harmony foretells!
Through the balmy air of night
How they ring out their delight!
From the molten golden-notes,
And all in tune,
What a liquid ditty floats
To the turtle-dove that listens, while she gloats
On the moon!
Oh, from out the sounding cells,
What a gush of euphony voluminously wells!
How it swells!
How it dwells
On the future! how it tells
Of the rapture that impels
To the swinging and the ringing
Of the bells, bells, bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells—
To the rhyming and the chiming of the bells!
III.
Hear the loud alarum bells—
Brazen bells!
What a tale of terror now their turbulency tells!
In the startled ear of night
How they scream out their affright!
Too much horrified to speak,
They can only shriek, shriek,
Out of tune,
In a clamorous appealing to the mercy of the fire,
In a mad expostulation with the deaf and frantic fire
Leaping higher, higher, higher,
With a desperate desire,
And a resolute endeavor
Now—now to sit or never,
By the side of the pale-faced moon.
Oh, the bells, bells, bells!
What a tale their terror tells
Of Despair!
How they clang, and clash, and roar!
What a horror they outpour
On the ***** of the palpitating air!
Yet the ear it fully knows,
By the twanging,
And the clanging,
How the danger ebbs and flows;
Yet the ear distinctly tells,
In the jangling,
And the wrangling,
How the danger sinks and swells,
By the sinking or the swelling in the anger of the bells—
Of the bells—
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells—
In the clamor and the clangor of the bells!
IV.
Hear the tolling of the bells—
Iron bells!
What a world of solemn thought their monody compels!
In the silence of the night,
How we shiver with affright
At the melancholy menace of their tone!
For every sound that floats
From the rust within their throats
Is a groan.
And the people—ah, the people—
They that dwell up in the steeple.
All alone,
And who toiling, toiling, toiling,
In that muffled monotone,
Feel a glory in so rolling
On the human heart a stone—
They are neither man nor woman—
They are neither brute nor human—
They are Ghouls:
And their king it is who tolls;
And he rolls, rolls, rolls,
Rolls
A paean from the bells!
And his merry ***** swells
With the paean of the bells!
And he dances, and he yells;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the paean of the bells—
Of the bells:
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the throbbing of the bells—
Of the bells, bells, bells—
To the sobbing of the bells;
Keeping time, time, time,
As he knells, knells, knells,
In a happy Runic rhyme,
To the rolling of the bells—
Of the bells, bells, bells—
To the tolling of the bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells—
To the moaning and the groaning of the bells.
Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 4:26 PM UTC
i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones,and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the,shocking fuzz
of your electric furr,and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh….And eyes big love-crumbs,
and possibly i like the thrill
of under me you so quite new
Apr 11, 2015
Apr 11, 2015 at 11:36 PM UTC
in the rain-
darkness, the sunset
being sheathed i sit and
think of you
the holy
city which is your face
your little cheeks the streets
of smiles
your eyes half-
thrush
half-angel and your drowsy
lips where float flowers of kiss
and
there is the sweet shy pirouette
your hair
and then
your dancesong
soul. rarely-beloved
a single star is
uttered,and i
think
of you
Apr 11, 2015
Apr 11, 2015 at 11:35 PM UTC
*sometimes the beauty of a blade or a bottle of pills
is too compelling to ignore.*
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 6:52 PM UTC
*and now my nightmares about losing you
can't be relieved by reality.*
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 6:49 PM UTC
you call me beautiful,
but am i really?
tell me where is the beauty in staving yourself because you disgust yourself?
where is it in relying on the blade being dragged against your skin to relieve you of your pain?
where is it in staring at the bottle of pretty pills begging them to end it all?
how can something that is made up of all these horrendous things, fall under the category of beautiful?
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 1:47 AM UTC
i get lost in the ocean in his eyes,
drowning me every time i caught his eye.
with every word he spoke,
he controlled me.
without a doubt,
i was falling for him slowly.
from the swoosh in his hair,
to the way he walked like air.
fomr the curve of his lips,
to the way his head dips.
from the engraving of his dimples,
to the way he was never simple.
piece by piece,
he had captivated me
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 1:37 AM UTC
you want into my life now?
after all these years,
what has changed?
is it to impress your new wife,
or to be the reason for the knife?
tell me again all the things i've done wrong .
the list must be long,
but what can i say?
i learned from the best.
tell me how i can't trust men,
but don't worry i can't after you.
you criticize my choices
even when yours weren't all that great.
you can't be absent for 15 years and act like you weren't .
but in the end it's ironic, really.
the one who tries to "protect" me
is the one i really need protection from.
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 1:35 AM UTC