The end to his potential was swift
They'd told him after all, he had no gift
There was nothing for him to share
No reason for him to care
Why should he ever dare..?
Putting himself out there..?
Best to stay invisible
In the corner of the eye, dismissable
"Nothing to see here"
Just unworthiness and fear
They'd told him after all, there was no hope
The best choice for him, was the rope.
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 2, 2017 at 11:30 AM UTC
In my mind there is a voice that likes to play a game
It's quite like me but not quite the same
Every day we play tug of war
I don't know how long we've been playing it for
When it's winning I feel completely wrong
Like a singer without a song
It starts to provide explanations
And I start to feel degredation
It seems to know why I'm hopeless
And why I'll always be mired in loneliness
And just like that, the voice becomes my voice
My reality and my only choice
However, sometimes I start to feel strong
I pull, I start winning and am no longer wrong
My love is no longer just superfluous
My flaws no longer mean I'm worthless
They never are of course
It's just that these thoughts are injected daily by force
Not by a negligient mother
Or a bully who just wants someone to bother
But by a voice that just wants to play the same game
A voice with only one aim, to take over my name
And so we continue playing tug of war
I don't know how long we've been playing it for
I just wish this room had a door...
Aug 11, 2017
Aug 11, 2017 at 11:48 AM UTC
I don't want to be back here
That place which only breeds loneliness and fear
Where everything is grey
And night is the same as day
Where love is just tasteless food
And nothing can improve my mood
Where I feel still even though I'm moving
And every touch feels cold no matter how soothing
Where everyone feels distant,
even though their love has been constant
Where the sun is just a sting in my eye
And the moon simply hides me while I die
Where every action is pointless
And my love and care feel worthless
The place where my heart feels numb
And being alive feels dumb
That place which is just dust and sand
That place which has no beginning...and no end.
Jul 31, 2017
Jul 31, 2017 at 7:07 AM UTC
We found each other lonely and afraid
Not too long after, a bond was made
We soon realized we were significant to each other
And so significant she became, this one was not the same...
as the ones that came before, this one knew more
Yet she stayed around, she sought to traverse the trembling ground...
that was my self-esteem and troubled mind
And I did the same for her too, together we grew
And before we knew, our love felt most pure and true
Yet even though I rose high, my love didn't always erase her wish to die
Days blossomed and shined
Weeks lived and died
At our best we planted beautiful memories...
at our worst we hung dead together from trees
But mostly, we loved each other seemingly indefinitely
Eventually, our corpse filled days bled into our loving ways
My spark for her heart faded away,
just like everything else these days
She was no longer something to adore
I could no longer fight to see her soar
I could no longer keep her in the sky
Every moment with her felt like a lie
As even though we still laughed, we both smelled something had begun to die
We knew it wasn't the same anymore
We knew it didn't feel like before
Yet she refused to part ways
Until I said that's how it has to be
It was the best for her and me
And so part we did for some time, hoping it will clean the grime
Alas, I felt better on my own, my love did not regrow
We met some time later, I made my statement of abatement
She was saddened but she already had her eye on a potential replacement
And so I carry on, sometimes recalling her smile, wishing it will seem vile
But this is not how I feel
Our love felt pure and real, and it was
Until it started to rot, then it was not.
Jul 13, 2017
Jul 13, 2017 at 5:50 PM UTC